Month: December 2020

I am not a massive Blur fan but I adore ‘Song 2’.   I saw them in 2015 when they headlined Saturday night at Electric Picnic. They were amazing and I particularly loved that Damon Albarn had been investigating his heritage and had discovered that he was 11% Irish.

He was immensely proud of the fact which garnered a triumphant ‘Ole, Ole, Ole’ from the crowd.  When they sang ‘Song 2’, no one needed an excuse to go mental and much moshing was had.    I never understood the Britpop Oasis and Blur rivalry as I always thought that Blur were far superior.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSbBvKaM6sk

 

My favorite part of the song is the beginning when he screams ‘Woo Hoo’.  I was in the car the other day and as it came on the radio I bellowed ‘Woo hoo’, before he sang it. For some reason I just needed to feel rebellious even for a second. Perhaps I need to get out more?

Now there’s a line that was pretty much deleted from the vernacular this year.  Following ‘Woo Hoo’ the song descends into a pure punk symphony.

Later I was in the shops buying my groceries and I saw that they had freshly cooked grilled chicken. I roared ‘Woo Hoo’, just like Damon Albarn.  Nobody was impressed and the guy removing the chickens from the oven nearly dropped them. It’s one rule for Blur and one rule for the rest of us.  I realize now that it is probably best not to sing random words from songs at the top of my voice at inappropriate moments particularly in a supermarket.

BTW I did not bellow ‘Woo Hoo’ in the supermarket. But I was sorely tempted.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

Why are there so many songs about rivers? Songwriters and singers never seem to get enough of going down to the river. They are either crossing the river holding it back. And even pissing in the river (Patti Smith) See list below

1. Springsteen – The River
2. Talking heads- Take me to the river
3. Ella Henderson-Ghost River
4. Andy Williams-Moon River
5. Boney M – The Rivers of Babylon
6. UB40- Many Rivers to cross
7. Al Green – Take me to the river
8. Justin Timberlake – Cry me a River
9. James Bay – Hold back the river
10. Neil Young – Down by the River
11. Jimmy Cliff – Many Rivers to cross

And of course, my favorite

 

12. Patti Smith – Pissing in a river

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhDJZm_HyXY

(Who knew? not me, that’s for sure) – It’s available to buy on Amazon for anyone who is interested.

Just because all of these artists seem to have a river at the end of their garden does not necessarily mean that the rest of us mere mortals have the same luxury.

Anyhoo I am off to fix the lock on my canal. No one writes about them, do they?

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

This year has been hard, and so very very sad. So many have lost their loved ones. My thoughts and prayers go out to those that have.

Due to the ongoing restrictions, I have decided to send my hologram to any events that I might be invited to. I don’t actually have a hologram but I am working on it. If anybody calls and asks me why it didn’t turn up, I will reply in a shocked manner and say that I need to return to the design company that I bought my hologram from. And to ask them why it failed to turn up,

I shall embellish the story by describing my hologram in detail and what I am wearing. My hologram has no VPL, hair like Kylie Minogue, a body like Charlize Theron and lips like Angelina Jolie.

My hologram – let’s just call her ‘Holly’ – would not suffer from Tourette’s, have the most impeccable manners and be incapable of telling rude crude jokes. Basically, a very much improved model of myself.

I shall wax lyrical on the design process and how long it took to complete the finished result. By which time I am pretty sure the caller will have nodded off.

I shall keep you posted regarding the progress of ‘Holly’.

 

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

We Irish are not averse to a good ole decent turf war. Considering our country produces the best quality turf. However, the latest is not so much a turf war as a surf war. Meaning the sea swimming Dry Robers vs the sea swimming anti Dry Robers.

So much so that The Guardian featured an article referencing our plight.  In particular the notice erected in Sandycove by an aggrieved anti Dry Rober.

In the large scale of things, and considering our current climate, I realize that this is a first world problem of minuscule importance.  (WPA-Woeful puns alert. The following text may make you cringe and grimace due to the unsolicited use of dreadful puns).

For the swimmers that do decide to shell out the 150-160 euro I can only assume that it must be worth it. They must keep one very very dry indeed.    Although I would like to emphasize that when we all come out of the sea, we are all rather wet and cold. Usually a towel, several layers and a coat have generally succeeded in restoring one to a dry state.

I first spotted a person wearing a dry robe in 2019 and as I had been harboring notions of sea swimming for years, I became quite envious of their emblazoned attire.

This summer I was asked to join two awesome sea warriors in their thrice weekly swim. One of the girls mentioned the Sandycove notice and I immediately understood their perspective. The hippy in me began to deduce that Dryrobes  (because of their cost) were making sea swimming an elitist hobby. This upset me as the sea is such a magnificent free natural phenomenon that surely sea swimming could not incite a surf/class war?

This was my initial reaction and then I decided that there will always be something to divide people and create perceived snobbery. Whether it is cars, earbuds, phones or sportswear. My motto is live and let live.

We are not all the same, and Thank God we never will be. Otherwise, the world would be a very dull place. So what if someone wants to cozy up in their Dry Robe? Can we not be more tolerant, instead of less tolerant, particularly during these times?

Sea swimming can be spine tinglingly cold at times. But also, incredibly invigorating. Whatever floats your boat, just enjoy and Carpe Diem (Seize the day.     I could have said ‘Seaze (Sea-geddit? ) the day, but I resisted, as that would be going too far.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

P.S Pun therapy is ongoing but is largely unsuccessful.

 

I read today that there was a new baby aardvark born in Longleat zoo in the UK recently.  As an adult it is such a strange looking animal and I am not sure if it looks any better as a new-born. I suppose if it ate frogs instead of ants its nose would look different. But that’s nature for you.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.somersetlive.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/longleat-announces-arrival-first-ever-4660986.amp

Whenever I hear the word ‘Aardvark’ I am forever reminded that it is the first word in the English dictionary and a funny word that I love. My memory then immensively goes to the Blackadder sketch where Samuel Johnson has just written the first English dictionary. Blackadder then proceeds to take great delight in messing with his head by conjusting meaningless words on the spot. Such as the ones that I have just mentioned.

https://youtu.be/PuDquo76490

Making up words is an acquired skill and one that I am working on. Weaving them into a conversation whilst keeping a straight face is possibly the most charvasing  skill but once attained I am sure that it is well worth the effort.

Hugh Laurie as the Prince Regent in Black adder is one of my favorite characters ever. It is not hard to believe that he went onto international superstardom with the series ‘House’. The writing of Blackadder was (in my mind) in the realm of Monty Python.   Just pure redulcitrant silliness underscored by genius writing.

How many made up words did you find in this blog?

That’s all for now

My sincerest contrafibularities

Stay fab

Adele

 

I have to admit I have never been a huge Benedict Cumberbatch fan. However, this clip posted on YouTube has managed to convince me otherwise. Benedict reads a letter from the Artist Sol LeWitt to his friend and fellow artist Eva Hesse. The content of the letter as well as the reading are awe inspiring.

Lately there seems to be an abundance of books and video clips illuminating the benefits of putting oneself first to achieve greater fulfillment in life.  ‘Untamed ‘By Glennon Doyle was promoted by the singer Adele as she states that it helped change her priorities.

It promises that in prioritizing oneself over others and setting boundaries we will all become more centered and less stressed.

One of the video clips that always succeeds in de stressing and making me smile is this clip from Graham Norton. In it Graham challenges Benedict to perform his best otter impersonations as requested by fans due to an uncanny resemblance.

And I was otterly amazed at his mimicry (Pun therapy continues but is largely unsuccessful)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO5VxVDmsG4

It was of course only fitting to end the interview by committing grievous bodily harm to an enormous teddy bear. I almost could not bear to watch.

Perhaps it is his name that I cannot seem to relate to?  I am pretty sure that he is not losing any sleep over whether I like him or not. I feel for him as growing up must have been more complicated than most considering his rather unusual name.

Most kids get teased but his taunts must have been off the Richter scale. Perhaps the following may have been some of the names that he was called. Been a dick cumbersome snatch?   Been a dick come to bitch?

Anyhoo, I am off to watch him in the ‘Imitation Game’ as somebody recommended it, as long as there are plenty of otters in it and that he is imitating them beautifully.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

I wrote this poem today as whenever I am by the sea it’s beauty and majesty never cease to take my breath away. One of my favorite quotes ‘So many things are locked in wordlessness’ which is a Steinback quote, aptly names the experience.

As well as a recent phrase I read which described humans as being limited by our senses. Words cannot even begin to describe the experience but I had to try. I hope you enjoy.

 

Abalone Sea

My soul wails seeking solace

From the grime and the menace

As I hear the ocean chorus

I am drawn to my bliss

The gulls call me

Beckoning to their abalone sea

Aqua marine soul energy

Clambering through the dunes joyfully

My bare feet curl on the ribs of sand

I witness the ocean wave its cresting hand

The graceful sea grass whispers to my mind

Taste the sea air, inhale, unwind.

My angst begins to unfurl

My empty shell becoming impearled

The ocean’s labradorite hues become my world

As I glisten within becoming a little girl

My top 10 videos of lockdown from Twitter to Tiktok

1. Sock puppet eating cars – https://twitter.com/gnuman1979/status/1239523796542992387?s=27
2. Dog sliding downstairs with his testicles trailing behind him

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSpsUYqp/

3. A swan feeding fish

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSpM4WDY/

4. Different pets playing together

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSpe48eW/

5. Messy baby

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSpddDNt/

6. Ali G roasting the Beckhams

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSCKV9BC/

7. Panda eating, just because……….

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSCKscBK/

8. Whales shallow feeding

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSCKt8dA/

9. Ten men on a rope swinging-really has to be seen to be believed,

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSCKCmsS/

10. Comedienne ‘Sarah Millican’ just too funny and rude

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSC3dbJF/

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

Today I was reminded of an incident in Howth whilst walking Buzz and Finn last week with my friend that made me smile. I was walking up Howth Hill and Finn had a small dose of diarrhea which needed tending to as some of it went onto his back leg. I had a tissue in the pocket of my coat which I took out and began to wipe the smear off the back of his leg.

Whilst I was down there, I also decided to give a little wipe to his tail end. As I completed the act whilst standing up, I became aware of cars driving past. I realized that there was a distinct probability that someone in a car had the misfortune of witnessing me wiping my dog’s arse with a tissue.

Last week there was another incident regarding Buzz. I was with my friend and again we are walking up the hill when a couple of ladies passed us by. My friend was walking Buzz for me as I had Finn. Buzz pooped. There was nothing odd about the event other than the fact that I picked it up and bagged it.

Again, I couldn’t help but think of what the two ladies were thinking. Probably something along the lines of ‘My, now, that’s true friendship, where she picks up her friend’s dog’s poop’, not realizing that it is my dog.

Perhaps I should have apprehended them to explain the situation but I am pretty sure it would have only made things look weirder than they already were.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

This is a pervading and persistent affliction previously coined by the Viz Profanisaurus. Arse-ritis has now reared its ugly head again during Covid lockdown.  The condition is identified by stiffness of limbs due to not being arsed to do an awful lot.

Sufferers also complain of procrastination and frustration. Frustration is primarily aimed at Netflix due to the lack of entertainment on offer, particularly when every single item has been watched by the sufferer (and critiqued on IMDB).

Regular exercise and a reduction in complex carbohydrates have been shown to diminish the symptoms somewhat. Severe hand cramp related to excessive remote-control usage can almost disappear.

Emergency departments around the country have also seen a marked increase in patients presenting with finger-itis. Some patients have required surgical removal from their mobile phones and speech therapy to allow them to learn to speak to another human face to face.

The minister for health has been contacted regarding issuing a statement but it appears now that he may also be showing symptoms of this cruel condition as he is unavailable to comment.

The department of health have also been contacted regarding launching an awareness campaign but sadly they too have been affected by this condition.    All we can do now is pray for a cure.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

( Ref VIZ ‘ Profanisaurus War and Piss)

 

http://viz.co.uk/category/rogers-profanisaurus/