My Blog

Whilst walking my dogs yesterday I overheard the following which made me smile.

• Can you do a poop for me now? Come on now. What are the chances?

She got no reply.

• Now, is there any way you can do a shit for me?

Again. No response. Possibly the reason for the lack of response was the fact that she was talking to her dog. The last time I checked, dogs do not talk. Huskies try, their videos are all over TikTok. In fairness, there are one or two other doggy videos where a dog will make a good effort to talk to their owner, but by and large, dogs do not speak. Here are some of the dogs attempting to talk.

https://youtu.be/4XFTq1sW9tI?si=z0JPLJflA0D_y22f

As I was walking away from her, I could not help smiling to myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I chat regularly with my dogs, but I draw the line at negotiating with them to poop.

Sometimes when I am going out and leaving them for a while, I notice the book by my bed and recommend they have a read. Upon my return, I ask them what they thought. It’s like a canine book club. This week’s book is, The Bee Sting, by Paul Murray. There are no mentions of dogs in the book, so far, which probably means that they will be less interested. The last book I read that featured a dog was, A Dog’s Purpose. They loved it, or I like to think that they did. And when I am not ensconced in my delightful delusions, I remind myself that dogs do not talk or read. But they do give the best cuddles.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

After ten minutes or so, another lady, who I knew to be a Traveller, was entering her dog into the best breed competition. She had a lovely face and was looking at me intently. She then went on to ask me if I was psychic. I said that maybe I was and how, as psychics, we can often recognize one another.

Her dog was not placed, and I could see she was visibly disappointed. At the intermission, she came to me and asked me if I could give her dog a rosette. Myself and my friend were responsible for the presentation of the trophies and rosettes and were quite busy. I did not want my credibility questioned, so I asked the organizer, and she agreed. At the end of the competition, I gave her a blue rosette that said, ‘Special dog.’ She was thrilled. She then touched my arm and told me I would win a car and buy a lottery ticket as I may have some money coming to me.

I bought a few lottery tickets and a ticket for a car draw before Christmas. I have had no luck with the lottery, but I will let you know if I win anything. Overall, it was a fab day with so many beautiful dogs.

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

A few years ago, my friend from Ballinasloe showed me a shocking video on Facebook. We both trained as nurses at Portiuncula Hospital in Ballinasloe many moons ago. The Ballinasloe Horse Fair is the oldest in Europe, and every now and then, we go back and take a lovely trip down memory lane.

The video was a real-life video of a middle-aged lady from Hymany Park in Ballinasloe threatening one of her neighbours. She said that she would get an axe to her door. The video then went on to show her son waving an axe at her neighbor’s front door. It was hard to believe how emphatic this lady was with her threats towards her neighbour. I wondered if the Gardai had become involved at any stage due to the public nature of the outcry. For some reason, I got a fit of the giggles when I saw it, as it was hard to believe.

This year, we were helping my friend’s sister at The Dog Show. It was a bright sunny day, and possibly one hundred dogs entered the twenty-five competitions. The competitions varied from best in breed, most obedient, best fancy dress to judges’ favourite.

When I was collecting the money for the dog show, my friend tapped me on the shoulder and said that I had just served the ‘Axe Lady,’ I was in shock and weirdly in awe. So was my friend. We both shrieked with as much joy as had we both seen a unicorn. Afterwards, I was scared to even look at her. Perhaps it was her infamy that intrigued us. But we just about held it together and continued to serve the other customers.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

Halloween

Tonight, the spirits come alive,

And the ghouls begin to thrive.

The zombies roam with zeal.

As children and adults scream.

A knock on your bedroom door,

A monster desperate for gore

And then another, this time a thud

A vampire to suck your blood

Will your soul go to a ghoul?

Will you become vicious and cruel?

Will you relish in the gore?

The horror and the folklore?

As your blood curdles.

Your Spirit unfurls

A werewolf will tear you apart.

And cease your beating heart.

A fog will envelop your mind.

What you then see, you will wish you were blind.

The Mummies come undone.

As every possible victim runs.

The Grim Reaper is on a mission.

As you have lacked contrition.

Witches fly around on brooms.

Lock your bedroom door soon.

There may be a monster beneath your bed.

Or a man under his arm, carrying his head.

Frankenstein will fill you with fear.

A safe haven will never be near.

Behave and beware.

They are out to get you.

They do not care.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

1. http://adeleleahy.ie/acts-of-mindfulness-part-two/ More really crap mindfulness jokes. Truly woeful.

 

2. http://adeleleahy.ie/inspirational-retreats-part-one/ More muppets. Dressing up as one on mushrooms, Anyone?

 

3. http://adeleleahy.ie/baldoyle-pub-creche-1996/

 

1. 4. http://adeleleahy.ie/the-rock-and-kevin-hart/

 

1. 5. http://adeleleahy.ie/robin-williams-rubbing-the-meat/. What can I say? Besides The Muppets, Catherine Tate, Monty Python, Kevin Bridges. and Jimmy Carr, I am a sucker for Robin Williams. One of my earlier blogs featured Robin on Sesame Street. When I found the YouTube video clip, I was elated. He does feature quite a lot. And do I feel bad? Yes, I do. But hey, I’m now over it. He was the greatest comic genius of our time.

 

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

1.http://adeleleahy.ie/sneezy-seal-day-and-viz/ – Johnny Farty Pants and the art of farting.

2. Strewth – http://adeleleahy.ie/one-of-those-days/ Murphy’s Law. Think of a really bad day. Multiply it by thirty-three and a third, divide by twenty-four and a half, and then you may have an idea of how bad my day really was.

3. http://adeleleahy.ie/the-perils-of-swimming/ – The underwear thief, wedgies, low-flying testicles and sex noises. And we won’t even mention sewage, condoms, peeing in the sea or genital warts. Actually, we won’t mention genital warts at all, as they have nothing whatsoever to do with this post.

4. http://adeleleahy.ie/acts-of-mindfulness-part-one/ and really cringe mindfulness jokes. Once upon a time, we used to go for walks, maybe have a paddle and daydream.

I recall getting the bus into town and gazing out the window. Wondering about other people at bus stops, looking at people in parks, and wondering about the people inside the houses we were driving past. What they were doing, how they were feeling. I was not mentally glued to a mobile phone. Maybe that is why mindfulness is now embedded into our consciousness. To counteract the perils of mobile phone usage? And now we have renamed it mindfulness. And, of course, the perfect irony is that the word belies the action. In that, we are freeing of mind of being full.

 

5. http://adeleleahy.ie/doggy-vision/

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

The Horse Fair was mighty this year. I always love it as I have such special memories from when I did my nurse training in Ballinasloe, Portiuncula Hospital. Besides being the oldest Horse Fair in Europe and where Napoleon is believed to have bought some of his horses, it is also a Mecca for the traveller community.

One year, when I was nursing, we had two warring traveller families on two different wards. One had stabbed another for snogging his wife. The two families were the Wards and the McDonaghs, and the Gardai had to stand outside on each ward to ensure no further disagreements.

This year, I got to help with the phenomenal Dog Show. There were possibly one hundred entries with many beautiful dogs. The excitable owners were desperate for a trophy/rosette, and children showed their pooches with great delight.

My favourite was a giant black Russian terrier. I pointed him out to the judge in the ring on my right, and he said it was the worst specimen he had ever seen. My judge gave it first prize. Both are well-known European Dog Show judges. It just goes to show there is no accounting for taste. A magnificent Afghan Hound won first prize. There were twenty-five competitions in total, from best in a variety of breed classes, to most obedient, judges’ personal favourite, best fancy dress, and best tricks. A ten-year-old girl won four prizes. She and her two dogs were incredible, and she behaved like a grown adult who had been showing dogs her whole life.

I met the infamous Axe lady and was blessed by a gypsy. And they are two wonderful stories for another day.

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Here are my favourite blogs from the first quarter of 2023

1. http://adeleleahy.ie/poem-doggy-rock/ – A poem about dog bands. E.g. Furreigner, Muttley Crew and the Velvet Undergrowl, to name but a few. Ruff, Ruff.
2. http://adeleleahy.ie/therapy-faux-pas/ When therapists get it wrong. Well, they are human, too, and we all make mistakes.
3. http://adeleleahy.ie/world-yoga-day/ – Paws and effect. Doggy yoga. Guess where the downward dog comes from. Hint: it’s not a cat.
4. http://adeleleahy.ie/silly-tuesday/ Any excuse to be silly. The man in the petrol station did not appreciate being asked if he could sell me two squirrels. He told me that only two badgers, a shrew, and a robin, were left for sale.
5. http://adeleleahy.ie/camel-botox/ Who knew that camels get Botox? And cows get fillers into their udders to help suckle. Oh, and some horses have had buttock implants to make them go faster, but it is illegal. Finally, certain breeds of sheep have been injected with hyaluronic acid to make their wool softer than Cashmere and Angora.

I jest in number 5. But you already knew that. Which of the sentences is true? But when you think of it. Who knew that massaging cows would result in Wagyu beef being the best beef on the planet? Maybe they could do with a bit of counselling, too?

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJx47prE/

More Muppets? More Animal? I hear you say.

Well, what can I say? I adore the Muppets. Always have. Always will. And I can relate to Animal as he represents the nutty part of my character. Grover and The Count are my other two favourites.

When I was younger, one of my favourite things was to headbang to the songs Black Betty and Don’t Fear The Ripper. And I must admit I was very good at it. I even taught my sister how to do it in Lahinch, County Clare. Such a legacy to be able to pass on………The nightclub where I taught her was above a pub below. I will never forget that the floor was bowed due to the amount of drink spilt on it over the years.

The skill was in leg position and even weight distribution; otherwise, I would have fallen over. I got such a buzz from it.

Nowadays, I get my buzz from my lovely two dogs. One is called Buzz, and the other is Finn.

I met someone yesterday who told me about this video with Elton John on Sesame Street singing Crocodile Rock. At a town meeting, I jokingly remarked how he and his sidekick reminded me of Stanton and Wardour from The Muppets. They always sat together and laughed at the same things. It is hard to believe that this video is 51 years old and Elton is still on tour. What a legend.

https://youtu.be/Dsh30mSPhq4?si=nXoD1MpqlAZkbyFg

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

I had to wait a while to post about Sinead’s passing, as I miss her terribly. Troy and Just Like You Said It Would Be are the songs I  sing in the shower. I know all the lyrics and am woeful at singing them. My two dogs dive beneath the duvet to avoid having to listen to me.

Troy

https://youtu.be/0c4v7fp5GC8?si=M-yIYUOE_VXfq4ft

Just Like You Said It Would Be

https://youtu.be/_UpJBdXrYjo?si=N7tOpnAM9fiE1vJa

 

Last weekend, a few friends and I were trying to get into a late bar for a boogie. I started singing,’ It’s been seven hours and fifteen days since I‘ve been in this feckin queue.’ I told the bouncer I would not shut up singing until he let us in. All my efforts failed miserably, and we scuttled off with our tails between our legs. A few youngsters were behind us, and I told them that they had to sing a Sinead ‘O Connor song to get in, which made them smile.

To say Sinead was a trailblazer is an understatement. She called out the Catholic Church on Saturday Night Live by ripping up a picture of the Pope and proclaiming, ‘Fight the real enemy.’ Having watched the documentary about her life, what struck me the most was her unique worldview. She was essentially sent to a hospice occasionally for the women of the Magdalene Laundry as punishment from her school, as it was next door. And she was often in trouble. She stayed up talking to some of them and heard their stories. No one else would have been in possession of the information that she gleaned about the Catholic Church from those poor women.

I know that she is happy in heaven with her son and loved ones.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele