Month: February 2025

This is one of my favs. Where’s the modesty, I hear you cry. Gone for a cuppa, as I indulge myself in a little narcissistic poem.

Poem

I Think I Am a Narcissist

I think I am a narcissist I work at it every day.
I used to be an empath but I never got my own way.

I want to be a Youtube reality star as my life is such a hoot.
I never stop chatting. It’s all about me. I ‘m incapable of being mute.

I’ll list my worries, my woes, and my wishes.
If you are even slightly inattentive, you will be sacked as one of my bitches.

If I’m kind I’ll act the martyr. Virtue signaling is my thing.
Telling folk I give to the homeless makes me soooo understanding.

I’ll always create the drama and be mired in victimhood.
It’s really never my fault I am merely misunderstood.

I can be as useful as a jelly step ladder when it’s something I don’t want to do.
When it comes to the blame game. It’s never me, it’s all about you.

My primary concern is me, my life and my successes.
If this is not your concern, do one. You will be one less stressor.

I lack empathy. My greatest skill is gaslighting.
I could undermine the Pope. He’s really just attention seeking.

I am so talented, so grateful for my art.
But some people hear me and would rather smell a fart.

I think I am a narcissist but someone said I can’t be as I’m too fat.
I said you don’t need to be thin to be a narcissist you prat.

They said it’s a prerequisite if you’re to be a megalomaniac.
I told them to piss off and to kiss my giant crack.

I am Dustin the Turkey of spoken word.
A little bit crass a little bit witty and a little bit absurd.

My art is priceless It defies analysis.
Although someone said analyze is also anal eyes.
That my art is shit beyond surprise.

I want to be on RTÉ after all it’s all about me.

I try to be gritty and down-to-earth.
But I’m just too talented and a ridiculous flirt.

I met Sean Penn and Robin Wright in New York City.
He’s very small he only came up to my titties.

I’m from Artane and can be arcane.
I only said that to use the word arcane. Yeah. I know it’s insane.
Apparently it means esoteric, another beauty of a word.
It means I’m profound and deep. Some say a literary turd.

I can be clinical as for many decades I was a nurse.
And now I’ve decided to switch bedpans for verse.

I’m not the only one to bridge the gap between art and comedy.
John Cooper Clarke is the OG genius with Beasley street.

I am a national treasure I am just waiting to be found.
And I don’t think it matters whether I’m small, tall , thin or round.

By

Adele Leahy

I have named him Harry, don’t ask me why. He just looks like a Harry, less of a Henrietta or Helen.

Whenever we drive by, he is perched on the wall (of the M1 Motorway) posing. I notice everyone in their cars stop, to say hello.

He must be thinking – Look at me, aren’t I gorgeous? And, my goodness, but, yes, he is.

Apparently, they are rare in Ireland but the government has begun a re-wilding and conservation project which is proving successful ( I need a bit of re wilding myself come to think of it. )

They were extinct one hundred years ago in Ireland due to hunting and they are now fully protected here.

Buzz (my dog) isn’t sure of the Buzzard. I thought they would get on seeing as they have similar names. Buzz & Finn can smell all the neighbourhood Deliveroo he is getting and are most likely very curious and jealous.

One day I noticed he was eating raw chicken. Somebody had fed him half a raw chicken and he was in seventh heaven.

I can’t see him going anywhere soon. Why would he? When he has free Deliveroo every day and is a celebrity feathered visitor . I may get him a phone for his Deliveroo order to give him a buzz .

Stay fab

Adele

The birds were having a proper chirpy rave at 5 am this morning. One of the birdsongs reminded me of Insomnia by Faithless.

There are many robins where I live, including a wonderful variety of red-breasted. One has a heart-shaped red breast, and another appears to resemble a question mark. Swallows and goldfinches are numerous, too.

We have seagulls dancing in our field after the rain to catch their worms, and a couple of oystercatchers have joined the worm party.

But best of all, a beautiful Buzzard has been visiting for the last few months. At first, I thought it was a hawk but a diligent neighbour did his homework and revealed his true variety. I knew they ate mice and other rodents, but then my aunt (who has a farm in Cork) told me that they eat birds. They also eat roadkill (see M1 reference further down), rabbits (Easter will be a carnivorous picnic for him), and worms (Seagulls and Oystercatchers, guard your territory.)

All I could think of were my robins, swallows, and goldfinches. I began to feed it and noticed my neighbours doing the same thing. They are part of the Raptor family, which immediately made me think of Jurassic Park (and Sam Neill, who has me enraptured, young and older – couldn’t resist).

Stay fab

Adele