Man marries his dog -Pawt two-of three

A self-described ‘religious guy,’ he said he could no longer stand the guilt of living with the canine cutie out of wedlock.

But, ‘it’s not sexual,’ he assured the wedding guests.

Honey, dressed for her big day in a white cape, was adopted by her husband five years ago when she was just a puppy.

One afternoon, the pair decided on the wedding during a walk-through Laurel Bank Park.

Spying another wedding taking place, Mr Guiso had an idea.

‘I said “that could be us”,’ he told The Toowoomba Chronicle.

‘She didn’t say anything, so I took that as a yes. He then went on to say that he is mutts about Honey and feels so fur-tunate to have her in his life. Mr Guiso claims that since he met Honey, he has a new leash on life and remains paws-itive in his outlook and impending marriage. According to Mr Guiso, people who hate dogs are re-pug-nant.

When asked if he ever gets tired of all the canine puns, he admitted that they can sometimes become a bit labradorious ( laborious……ok, that one is a bit of a stretch) but that he can see how his actions can be seen as unusual. He had thought of going to ‘Paw Paw New Guinea’ for their honeymoon until he learnt that some of the tribes there eat dogs.

You will finally be put out of your misery with the dog puns tomorrow.

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

Man marries his dog -Pawt One -of three

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1334993/amp/Joseph-Guiso-marries-dog-Honey-sunset-ceremony.html

Who knew a human could marry their dog? Not me. But Joseph Guiso from Australia loved his Labrador’ Honey’ so much that he decided to marry her. So, there you go, you learn something new every day. They were ‘joined in matrimony’ at Toowoomba’s Laurel Bank Park – and the real surprise is that 30 friends and family members turned up to witness the event. That’s the bit that cracks me up. Not the man marrying his dog.

‘You’re my best friend and you make every pawt of my day better,’ Mr. Guiso read in his vows.

WARNING- The following text contains numerous puns which may cause the reader to wince and or possibly even gurn. And BTW, I make no apologies whatsoever for said puns. My regular pun therapy has completely and utterly failed and my punitis is worse than it has ever been. It is an affliction that I am now reconciled to living with.

He never knew such love was pawsible and in no way was his decision to marry his dog cavalier. Having had a woof time with human partners he developed a newfound land (I know, it’s a stretch, but it made me giggle) respect for dogs when he found Honey.

I wonder if he said in his vows

‘To lab and to hold fur ever. Fur richer, fur pawrer’.

If it had been a daschund, would he have said

‘Fur better and fur wurst?’

Perhaps the wedding was catered for by a local Chinese restaurant called ‘Chow chow’. Or maybe they had pizza, pupperoni being the speciality of the day. Washed down with lots of Cava. I believe the church was hounded by the puparazzi and the wedding was featured in ‘Vanity Fur’.

 

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

International celebrity lookalike day

Sarah Hyland and Mila Kunis

April 20th was world celebrity lookalike day. I am fascinated by the number of stars that look so like each other. It is almost as if they have been cloned. The vast majority of them enjoy having a famous doppelganger. In fact, they are often known to revel in being mistaken for their counterpart by forging their autograph or bullshitting their way through questions about movies that they have not starred in. It’s refreshing to know that they don’t take themselves too seriously.

I was once told that I resembled Javier Bardem in ‘No Country for Old Men’, when my hairdresser had ignored my instructions and gave me a dodgy bob and fringe.

And to add insult to injury apparently, my driving license picture is not dissimilar to Charlize Theron. When she played the serial killer Aileen Wuornos in ‘Monster’.

Here are some more of my fav celebrity lookalikes

Jessica Chastain and Bryce Dallas Howard

Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley

Amy Adams and Isla Fisher

Gerard Butler and Clive Owen

Heath Ledger and Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Javier Bardem- Phwoarr!!!

Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

 

Have a whipping, Easter.

I promise that there will be no Easter puns in this blog. Or no silly bunny rabbit jokes like Watership Down- Seen the film? Read the book? now, eat the stew.

None whatsoever as I realize that you have better things to be doing on Easter Sunday than reading such drivel. Such as taking a beach walk, enjoying a lamb lunch with family/friends, binge-watching Netflix and eating a wagon load of Easter eggs. Or is that just me? Therefore, allow me to share with you my favourite Easter tradition.

It involves gentle whip-cracking of females in the Czech Republic and Slovakia on Easter Monday. I cannot help but think that maybe E.L.James visited Prague during this time and was inspired to write Fifty shades of grey. The men and boys dance through the streets using highly decorated willow switches to lightly whip the women and girls of the town that are unoffended by the ancient tradition. Apparently, it encourages good health and beauty. Perhaps the women could use the switches the next day to get their men to do the laundry or clean the house? It would be a shame not to get the maximum benefit out of them.

This story reminded me of one of my favourite songs as a child. The wonderful Doris Day in Calamity Jane. ‘Whip, crack away, whip, crack away, whip, crack away’. Here it is for your enjoyment.

 

The Deadwood Stage from Calamity Jane (1953)

https://youtu.be/x_xmujSyxkU

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

Above the ground

I asked somebody the other day how they were and their response was

‘Ah, above the ground’.

It made me smile as I had never heard it before.  I began to think of situations where this response could not be used. The following came to mind, The Underground in the UK, The Metro in France, coal mining in Australia, Cave diving, Scuba diving, post-apocalypse in a bunker and at a funeral. Definitely not at a funeral. Although possibly at a cremation, but then again……

My Father’s favorite phrase which was ‘hunger is a great sauce’ which always comes to mind when I am famished. ‘Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part’ lifts my spirit whenever I hear it as it is seldom used but rather sweet. But my all-time favorite has to be ‘May the road rise to meet you, and may the wind at your back never be your own’, which is a cheekier version of the first few lines of this beautiful Irish blessing. I never knew the entire version and it is truly beautiful

 

Irish blessing

 

May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

The rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

May God be with you and bless you;

May you see your children’s children.

May you be poor in misfortune,

Rich in blessings.

May you know nothing but happiness

From this day forward.

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home

And may the hand of a friend always be near.

May green be the grass you walk on,

May blue be the skies above you,

May pure be the joys that surround you,

May true be the hearts that love you.

 

And my own version.

 

Irish Blessing Delly style

 

May you never walk in dog poop.

May you never find yourself in the soup.

May you never feel old,

Or on social media be trolled.

May you always be hip.

And never be the subject of gossip.

May you always sing your song.

And with everyone, get along.

May your home forever be your sanctuary.

May you enjoy the peace of being free.

May you always enjoy the sun’s kiss.

And always and forever live in your bliss.

 

 

 

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

 The Stunning gig Part 2

When I returned to my seat, two couples had arrived late and were sitting together two rows down from us. One of the girls got up to go to the bathroom, and I admired her jumper. It was a black batwing with star-shaped sequined patches on the shoulder and upper arm. I enjoyed watching the antics of the two couples down for me as the guy on the outside was extremely exuberant in his dancing. The other guy at the end of the two couples did not appear to want to catch this guy’s eye. He was gesticulating and pointing in an attempt to get his attention and share his exhilaration. It made me smile as I thought that perhaps he found his friends dancing embarrassing.

The ecstatic dancing guy was wearing a multicolored shirt with a paisley design and superman style glasses. Later on, while dancing, he took the hand of his male friend from behind the two women and kissed it. They both laughed. It was such a heart-warming display of friendship. When the gig finished, we all trooped down the stairs to the cold outside. My friend checked her pockets for her phone and realized that it was not there. She raced back to try and find it. The paisley shirt guy had picked it up and was handing it into the cloakroom. The night ended on a high as we danced back to the car park to head home.

 

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

The Stunning gig Part 1

I was reminded of a Christmas 2021 gig that I went to with my friend when I heard the lead singer of the band ‘The Stunning’ interviewed on the radio today. They were amazing as always, and the evening was especially poignant as it was just before the last Covid lockdown. We have seen them about half a dozen times, and they never fail to impress. Even more than thirty years after forming ‘Brewing up a storm’ always gets me going. It must be one of the nation’s favourite songs.

The lead singer in the main band played beside his brother on base. The guy on the keyboards also played the trumpet and the bongo drums. He blew my mind; I had never seen anyone play the bongo drums so fast and with such amazing skill. We moved after the first song as a pillar was blocking my view of the lead singer.

There were two giant mirrors in front of the circle seats where we were sitting, and I could see myself dancing; for a minute, I thought I actually looked quite cool. As we were up in the gods we had a birds-eye view of a box beneath us to the right. Everyone in it was dancing on their seats and giving it socks. I went to the bathroom, and as I was seated on the throne, I noticed a baby changing fixture in front of me. I smiled to myself whilst reading it as I thought if somebody did want to change their baby, they could just leave it there and come back and maybe get a different one.

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

 

Singing Coffee Van Man

In the development where I live, there is an Asian man that owns a coffee van. I saw him and his van down by Low Rock a few weeks ago. One of my friends advised him to increase his business by going to the swimming spots. While walking past, I noticed that he was singing into his phone at the top of his voice. He was so engrossed that he never noticed me. I loitered nearby, pretending that Buzz and Finn had some important sniffing going on as I was fascinated.

He was singing the ‘Greatest love all of all’ by Whitney Houston with great gusto. It is a difficult song to sing at the best of times and he was giving it all he could. I couldn’t help but think that maybe he was auditioning for one of the talent shows on television. For a moment, I was tempted to ask him if he took requests.

Anytime I see the van now, I smile when I recall the moment. Perhaps someday I will buy a coffee from him and sing him my order. Just to see his reaction. The phrase ‘sing for your supper’ could be rephrased to ‘sing for your coffee’. Imagine if there were shops that insisted on customers singing their orders. I can see us all now singing at Starbucks or Mcdonald’s. Maybe they will dedicate one hour a week to this? I would be well up for it.

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

Nerdy dancing

Like a lot of folk I think that I have the moves of Robyn in Call your girlfriend

https://youtu.be/F6ImxY6hnfA

But at this stage in my life, I would most likely be classified as a nerdy dancer. I became obsessed with Robyn when I saw the following video (On TikTok) with Emma Stone and Maya Rudolph

https://youtu.be/hX_5Qr1bgwA

Of course, I then had to go and learn all of Robyn’s dance moves from the video. The tumble was a bit tricky to say the least. Nelly the elephant came to mind.

Whilst walking in the park the other day I was listening to 70’s music. My favorite track ‘I feel love’ by Donna summer came on and I began to dream of her playing the legend slot on Sunday at Glastonbury. I was almost dancing around the park as I envisioned myself there.

It transpires that it might be difficult for her to headline at Glastonbury as she is no longer with us. I then began to think that maybe Elvis would be a great replacement. And guess what? I found out that he is no longer with us either.

Diana Ross is to grace the Pyramid stage at this year’s Glastonbury. What a woman. She exemplifies grace. I am envious of everyone that is going but I cannot be greedy as I have tickets for Latitude in the UK and Electric Picnic in September in Ireland.

Woo hoo. Bring on the festy fun.

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

Open Mic night

 

 

A few years ago, pre Covid, I was with some friends at a pub in Temple Bar. Ooohh, when I look back at those halcyon days of freedom and light.  Before I had gone to the loo we were talking about our individual experiences with anxiety and depression.

All of us had been tainted by both at some time or another and it was both liberating and sad to hear everyone’s experiences. Shame appeared to be a common trait among us. Even though awareness has heightened around mental health over the last many years, a pervading stigma remains.

When I returned the conversation revolved around an ‘Open Mic’ night. All the girls were excited and animated.  I said to the girls ‘So who is this guy Mike and why is he so open with his feelings?  Does it help people?  ’.

One of the girls looked at me and said ‘Seriously’, I said, ‘Yes, when will he be coming here?  . They all started laughing their heads off, a few were crying as they thought I was taking the piss.

I can be fierce thick at times but this was an all-time low, even for me.  I soon realized I got the wrong end of the stick.   I went along with it and started laughing as well’. Another said, ‘Oh, it was your straight face and delivery, priceless’.

I was asked if I would be reciting one of my poems. At this point I had noticed a poster outlining the details of the ‘Open Mic night’ and eventually the penny dropped. What a numpty eh? Needless to say, the night has not happened and may not for some time but I will be ready with my ‘Mic’ when it does.  Who knows I may even meet a Mike who is open about his feelings?

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele