11. Patio Puzzle – http://adeleleahy.ie/patio-puzzle/
12. Saudi Muff Diving http://adeleleahy.ie/saudi-muff-diving/
13. Porn Star Names – http://adeleleahy.ie/porn-star-names/
14.SIRI Translation gone wrong – http://adeleleahy.ie/siri-translation-gone-wrong/
15, Arseritis – http://adeleleahy.ie/arse-ritis/
Ref-Rogers Profanisaurus ‘Viz’ Magazine
16. The Menopause Minx –http://adeleleahy.ie/the-menopause-minx/
17. WARNING-Woeful word play ahead. The Dry Robe surf war. Latest comments from the sea reveal it doesn’t sea the point of any dissension. Just enjoy the seanery. – http://adeleleahy.ie/surf-war/
18. Elf on the shelf is officially married. Now called ‘Elf’- http://adeleleahy.ie/elf-on-the-shelf/
19.Exercise caution whilst buying Bonsai trees as mine turned into a 75ft oak tree – http://adeleleahy.ie/bonsai-blues/
20. Four balled Finn – http://adeleleahy.ie/four-balled-finn/
Happy New Year
Here is to 2021
Kicking Covid up the bum
We’ve got this
Although temptation to rebel can be hard to resist
For those that lost the fight
May we exalt them with our might
Their spirit whispers in our new beginning
In being vulnerable we are winning
Our planet has had time to breathe
As for so long we fashioned it’s wreath
In isolation we value connection
We reflect and indulge in introspection
Our suffering can make us stronger
Can allow kindness and caring to linger
We are stronger in fighting this together
Our pain will soon be our pleasure
1. Twatoo – http://adeleleahy.ie/twatoo/
2.Six Impossible things before breakfast- http://adeleleahy.ie/six-impossible-things-before-breakfast/
3. Time travel machine recall- http://adeleleahy.ie/time-travel-machine-recall/
4. STD Bingo – http://adeleleahy.ie/std-bingo/
5. It’s a dog’s life – http://adeleleahy.ie/its-a-dogs-life/
6. Scottish for a day – http://adeleleahy.ie/scottish-for-a-day/
7. The internet cookies made me put on weight. Nothing else.- http://adeleleahy.ie/cookies/
8. ‘ Bend and snap’ from Legally blonde is an effective and alluring technique for picking up dog poop.- http://adeleleahy.ie/postman-bend-and-snap/
9. An unusual street request – http://adeleleahy.ie/unusual-street-request/
10. Sir Sean Connery The Only Bond. – http://adeleleahy.ie/sir-sean-connery-the-only-bond/
Having begun my daily blog on October 13th I have enjoyed sharing with you what makes me smile. Hopefully I have achieved a modicum of success in putting a wry smile on your face. With the year that we have all had staying positive has never been more important. Although testing negative is just as important. As we go back into what appears to be another strict lock down while we welcome in 2021 my new
‘Six impossible things before breakfast will be ‘
- Get dressed.
- Walk Buzz and Finn.
- Ensure Buzz and Finn do not become feral when the postman arrives.
- Resist updating myself on the latest Covid updates.
- Be proactive about my new year’s resolutions.
- Book a flight – anywhere. Just. Anywhere.
That’s all for now
Well, this morning I finally mustered up all of my courage and hopped on the dreaded weighing scales of doom after the annual Christmas blow out. I stupidly thought that if I made myself anxious enough that I might burn off a few extra calories. But alas that was not to be the case.
It’s presence in my bathroom had been menacing since the day after St. Stephen’s day. I hopped on and hopped off again quite swiftly. I forgot that the best way to weigh myself is to suspend myself slowly from the shower curtain until I reach my desired weight.
Afterwards I was greeted by Buzz doing a dance on my bed which was unusual behavior for him at the best of times. He is normally quite chilled unless food, his favorite toy or a walk are on the cards. He was merely trying to cheer me up. Bless. Or at least that is my analysis of the situation and I am sticking to it.
I eventually figured out that he had become accustomed to this apparatus that I stood on weekly and that it was obviously some kind of mood machine. No shit Sherlock. He could tell that when I stepped off it, I was either elated or deflated (or inflated if weight had been put on). The latter being the case this morning. Anyhoo, here’s to next week when the mood machine will put a smile on my face.
That’s all for now
There has been much talk of late surrounding celebrities that use photo shopping on their images. There appears to be a very active group of photo shopping police who can ascertain whether an image has been altered by examining the angles surrounding the person in the image. Are they using spirit levels? Who knows? One of the male reality stars was not happy with the shape of his nostrils in his photo and apparently altered them to such a degree that they were practically erased.
The photo shopping police likened him to Voldemort from Harry Potter. Poor ole Voldemort must have had an awful time of it when he had a cold.
I get how it can be misleading when images have been altered to such a degree where the actual person is almost recognizable. Mingled with the popularity of cosmetic surgery it is always interesting for me to see the ‘before’ and ‘after’ images.
I must admit that I am a sucker for these. When cosmetic surgery has been done well and the celebrity still looks like themselves only a younger version, I can only admire the surgeon who performed the work.
I had my sea swim today and my friend took a photo of me coming out of the sea. I decide to try photo shopping. And here is the result. They say I looked like Ursula Andress.
What do you think? I may have gone overboard? I am not sure if I have quite got the hang of this photo shopping?
That’s all for now
I tried a new technique on my hair last night called ‘heatless overnight curls’. I had seen it on YouTube and was delighted to be able to try something that did not require appliances other than a few clips.
Being a bit overzealous with the curling mousse meant that some of the curls had set so fast that I was unable to unpin them. I tend to always go for the more is better rule. Which never really works yet I still persist.
The attached, is a picture of me this morning, without my lipstick. I realize that tight curls are very much a first world problem. However, on one hand I was simultaneously alarmed and thrilled at the tightness of the curls and on the other I knew that I had gone seriously overboard.
I eventually managed to unknot the curls and began to attack my unruly mane with a hairbrush and too much hair oil. Buzz and Finn were giving me funny looks as if to say ‘Who has taken our human away and replaced her with a fuzzy oily head’. I am showing my age here when I can compare myself to one of the characters in the cartoon ‘The Hair Bear bunch’.
In the end I put my fuzzy head beneath my hat to brave the cold weather today. But on removing it after my walk I still looked like I had been electrocuted.
Have a great day.
Upon venturing to the local shop earlier today I noticed that the bread shelves were empty. I could only surmise that everyone was tucking into their turkey and ham sandwiches. And that they may have sold their granny for a batch loaf if they were too late to buy one.
Everyone was out and about blowing the cobwebs off. Gale force winds were beckoning and I nearly did a Mary Poppins by getting blown off the beach. Storm Francis is in full force making staying in and being cozy all the more pleasurable.
We are all gearing ourselves up for the next lock down. But at least we can travel within our own county and not be limited to 2 or 5kms as we have been in the past.
I will hazard a guess that the new year’s resolutions for 2021 will be less exhaustive and elaborate as in previous years. Most of us will aim to not get Covid and stay safe, or in my case to not get it again. I was one of the lucky ones as I got a mild dose. Plenty of ‘Wim Hoff guided breathing’ ensured that the wheeze I was left with soon subsided.
Minding those that are vulnerable is probably a major priority as we have lost so many. Practicing being more mindful is one of my goals. Perhaps I shall practice being more like a cow, and stay in the Moooment (That’s pretty bad, even for me.) Or maybe I ‘ll give up the pun therapy as it really doesn’t seem to be working very well. I could have done an udder pun but I didn’t. I managed to resist. That’s progress for you.
Happy St. Stephen’s Day.
What is your Irish Christmas Elf name?
Mine is Aloysius MacBrussel sprouts. Thank you. Don’t mind if I do have another Sprout.
I have had a massive glorious meal after a Christmas morning swim, beach walk and Howth walk. Maybe it’s just as well that we are going back into lockdown as my love of sprouts turns my apartment into Grand Central flatulence station. For once, Buzz and Finn are not to blame.
Buzz and Finn wore their Christmas outfits well although Buzz was a little peeved with his at first. He stood still staring at me for a few moments as if to say ‘Seriously? really? You expect me to wear this?’
Finn tried to reef it off him yesterday on the beach. I think Buzz may have asked him to in exchange for some of his Christmas treats. He got the elf hat off which they both decided to have a tug of war with. Until what was left was a doggy spit/sea drenched felt rag.
Lots of folk had Christmas themed outfits on their pet pooches and just as many had not. I began to think that those that had not probably wouldn’t be caught dead dressing their pooch up. But whatevs, it’s just as well that we are all different.
Buzz has left the room as my sprouts parped hello. He is somewhat indignant and smug in his swagger; in that it wasn’t him. Just as well that sprouts are just for Christmas……
As the song ‘And so this is Christmas’ by John Lennon goes
And so, this is Christmas
And what have you done?
Another year over
A New one just begun
So, what have I done? Like a lot of people, not an awful lot. Just trying to stay safe and keep others safe too. I have done a lot of reflection, and self-analysis. Mindful of the phrase ‘analysis leads to paralysis ‘.
Back in Christmas 2018, if anyone had said that the world would come to a screeching halt by the end of 2019, I am pretty sure no one would have believed them. I wonder if Nostradamus or the psychics predicted this? If anything, ‘The Simpsons’ seem to be the greatest predictors of the future. So far, they have predicted
- Donald Trump’s presidency.
- Lady Gaga flying into the super bowl.
- Holmstrom and Oliver Hart winning a Nobel prize in 2016 in economics.
- Siegfried and Roy being attacked by their tiger.
- The UK horse meat scandal.
- The virtual reality game ‘Farmville’.
- Two Beatles fans receiving replies to their letters 50 years after sending them.
- Smart watches featured in 1995.
- Disney buying Fox was predicted in 1998.
- US winning an Olympic medal in curling.
- In 1993 the ‘Osaka Flu’
Perhaps we need to look to The Simpsons for 2021?
Happy Christmas Eve and have a great day tomorrow.
I love this cartoon. Although some part of me says ‘Well’, and what if she was female? what of it? .
I was rather pensive this morning and wrote the following in anticipation of the upcoming lockdown.
We are the masked crusaders
Struggling to be cheerleaders
Masking our tears
Masking our fears
Grieving those departed
Lost, heavy hearted
Longing to touch
Missing them so much
Trying to keep active
In remembering how to live
We honor their memory
By living to be free
Being helpful and kind
Minding our minds
We will overcome this plight
With our will and our might
And be stronger still
Emanating good will
By Adele Leahy
What a year? Apparently after this year if you have a bucket list it can now be officially called a fuckit list. In adopting this philosophy my list has been amended to include the following.
- ‘Travelling the world’ has now become ‘travelling to the local shop’. And if I manage to not step in dog poop there is a cause for a celebratory cup of tea upon my return. It’s all about the small wins.
- ‘Go white water rafting’ has now become ‘having a bath after a very hot curry’.
- ‘Read Dostoyevsky’ has become ‘reading my Viz magazines’ again.
- ‘Go Shark cage diving ‘has become ‘wearing a mask outside and washing my hands continuously’.
- ‘Go to an Airport and book a random flight anywhere’ has become ‘Close my eyes and press a button on my remote control whilst in Netflix, and watch whatever I press’. Also known as ‘Netflix roulette’. I know. I am soooo living on the edge.
- ‘Learn to fly’ has become ‘Chase a butterfly’.
- ‘Say yes to everything for a day’ has become ‘Yes, I will wash my hands repeatedly and wear my mask, and try to complete a random act of kindness without the person knowing’.
Well. Now. I am off to have a curry and a bath. It’s never too late to take action. Afterwards I may play ‘Netflix Roulette’.
Have a great day.