My 2020 blog Top 20  Part 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. Patio Puzzle – http://adeleleahy.ie/patio-puzzle/

 

  1. Saudi Muff Diving http://adeleleahy.ie/saudi-muff-diving/

 

  1. Porn Star Names – http://adeleleahy.ie/porn-star-names/

14.SIRI Translation gone wrong – http://adeleleahy.ie/siri-translation-gone-wrong/

 

  1. Arseritis – http://adeleleahy.ie/arse-ritis/

Ref-Rogers Profanisaurus ‘Viz’ Magazine

 

 

 

 

  1. The Menopause Minx –http://adeleleahy.ie/the-menopause-minx/

 

  1. The Dry Robe surf war. Latest comments from the sea reveal it doesn’t sea the point of any dissension. Just enjoy the seanery. – http://adeleleahy.ie/surf-war/

 

  1. Elf on the shelf is officially married. Now called ‘ Elf’- http://adeleleahy.ie/elf-on-the-shelf/

 

  1. Exercise caution whilst buying Bonsai trees as mine turned into a 75ft oak tree – http://adeleleahy.ie/bonsai-blues/

 

  1. Four balled Finn – http://adeleleahy.ie/four-balled-finn/

 

Happy New Year

Here is to 2021

Kicking Covid up the bum

We’ve got this

Although temptation to rebel can be hard to resist 

For those that lost the fight

May we exalt them with our might

Their spirit whispers in our new beginning

In being vulnerable we are winning 

Our planet has had time to breathe

As for so long we fashioned it’s wreath

In isolation we value connection

We reflect and indulge in introspection 

Our suffering can make us stronger 

Can allow kindness and caring to linger

We are stronger in fighting this together 

Our pain will soon be our pleasure 

By

Adele Leahy 

My 2020 blog Top 20 Part 1

My 2020 blog Top 20 Part 1

 

1. Twatoo – http://adeleleahy.ie/twatoo/

 

2.Six Impossible things before breakfast- http://adeleleahy.ie/six-impossible-things-before-breakfast/

 

3. Time travel machine recall- http://adeleleahy.ie/time-travel-machine-recall/

 

4. STD Bingo –  http://adeleleahy.ie/std-bingo/

 

5. It’s a dog’s life – http://adeleleahy.ie/its-a-dogs-life/

 

6. Scottish for a day – http://adeleleahy.ie/scottish-for-a-day/

 

7. The internet cookies made me put on weight. Nothing else.- http://adeleleahy.ie/cookies/

 

8.  ‘ Bend and snap’ from Legally blonde is an effective and alluring technique for picking up dog poop.- http://adeleleahy.ie/postman-bend-and-snap/

 

9. An unusual street request – http://adeleleahy.ie/unusual-street-request/

 

10.  Sir Sean Connery The Only Bond. – http://adeleleahy.ie/sir-sean-connery-the-only-bond/

 

Having begun my daily blog on October 13th I have enjoyed sharing with you what makes me smile and hopefully achieving a modicum of success in putting a wry smile on your face whilst I am at it . With the year that we have all had staying positive has never been more important although testing negative is just as important.  As we go back into what appears to be another strict lock down while we welcome in 2021 my new

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘Six impossible things before breakfast will be ‘

  1. Get dressed.
  2. Walk Buzz and Finn.
  3. Ensure Buzz and Finn do not become feral when the postman arrives.
  4. Resist updating myself on the latest Covid updates.
  5. Be proactive about my new year’s resolutions.
  6. Book a flight – anywhere. Just. Anywhere.

 

That’s all for now

Stay fab

Adele

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Mood Machine

Well, this morning I finally mustered up all of my courage and hopped on the dreaded weighing scales of doom after the annual Christmas blow out.   I stupidly thought that if I made myself anxious enough   that I might burn off a few extra calories.   But alas that was not to be the case.     It’s presence in my bathroom had been menacing since the day after St. Stephen’s day.    I hopped on and hopped off again quite swiftly.

I forgot that the best way to weigh myself is to suspend myself slowly from the shower curtain until I reach my desired weight.

Afterwards I was greeted by Buzz doing a dance on my bed which was unusual behavior for him at the best of times.    He is normally quite chilled unless food, his favorite toy or a walk are on the cards.  He was merely trying to cheer me up.   Bless.    Or at least that is my analysis of the situation and I am sticking to it.

I eventually figured out that he had become accustomed to this apparatus that I stood on weekly and that it was obviously some kind of mood machine.   No shit Sherlock.  He could tell that when I stepped off it I was either elated or deflated.  The latter being the case this morning.  Anyhoo, here’s to next week when the mood machine will put a smile on my face.

 

That’s all for now

Stay fab

Adele

 

Image from

www.bored panda.com

 

Photo shopping

There has been much talk of late surrounding celebrities that use photo shopping on their images.   There appears to be a very active group of photo shopping police who can ascertain whether an image has been altered by examining the angles surrounding the person in the image.  Are they using spirit levels?    Who knows?  One of the male reality stars was not happy with the shape of his nostrils in his photo and apparently altered them to such a degree that they were practically erased.

The photo shopping police likened him to Voldemort from Harry Potter.   Poor ole Voldemort must have had an awful time of it when he had a cold.

I get how it can be misleading when images have been altered to such a degree where the actual person is almost recognizable.  Mingled with the popularity of cosmetic surgery it is always interesting for me to see the ‘before’ and ‘after’ images.  I must admit that I am a sucker for these.  And where cosmetic surgery has been done well and the celebrity still looks like themselves only a younger version I can only admire the surgeon who performed the work.

 

I had my sea swim today and my friend took a photo of me coming out of the sea.  I decide to try photo shopping.  And here is the result.

 

What do you think? I may have gone overboard? I am not sure if I have quite got the hang of this photo shopping?

 

 

 

That’s all for now

Stay fab

Adele

 

 

Baaad Hair day

I tried a new technique on my hair last night called ‘heatless overnight curls’.    I had seen it on YouTube and was delighted to be able to try something that did not require appliances other than a few clips.

https://youtu.be/zqOLhDXLQAc

I had been a bit overzealous with the curling mousse and when I began to unpin my new curls I realized that some of them had set so fast that I was unable to unpin them.

The attached, is a picture of me this morning, without my lipstick.   This is very much a first world problem but a modicum of panic began to set in.   On one hand I was simultaneously alarmed and thrilled at the tightness of the curls and on the other I knew that I had gone seriously overboard.

 

I eventually managed to unknot the curls and began to attack my unruly mane with a hairbrush and too much hair oil.  Buzz and Finn were giving me funny looks as if to say ‘Who has taken our human away and replaced her with a fuzzy oily head’.       I am showing my age here when I can compare myself to one of the characters in the cartoon ‘The Hair Bear bunch’.                                                                                                                                                   

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the end I put my fuzzy head beneath my hat to brave the cold weather today. But on removing it after my walk I still looked like I had been electrocuted.

 

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

Happy St. Stephen’s Day

Upon venturing to the local shop earlier today I noticed that the bread shelves were empty.    I could only surmise that everyone was tucking into their turkey and ham sandwiches and that they may have sold their granny for a batch loaf if they were too late to buy one.

Everyone was out and about blowing the cobwebs off.     Gale force winds were beckoning and I nearly did a Mary Poppins by getting blown off the beach.  Storm Francis is in full force making staying in and being cozy all the more pleasurable.

 

We are all gearing ourselves up for the next lock down but at least we can travel within our own county and not be limited to 2 or 5kms as we have been in the past.   I will hazard a guess that the new years resolutions for 2021 will be less exhaustive and elaborate as in previous years.    Most of us will aim to not get Covid and stay safe, or in my case to not get it again.    I was one of the lucky ones as I got a mild dose.  Plenty of ‘Wim Hoff guided breathing’ ensured that the wheeze I was left with soon subsided.

 

Minding those that are vulnerable is probably a major priority as we have lost so many.    Practicing being more mindful is one of my goals.     I shall practice being more like a cow, and stay in the Moooment   (That’s pretty bad, even for me .I think  I‘ll give up the pun therapy as it really doesn’t seem to be working very well).   I could have done an udder pun but I didn’t.   I managed to resist. That’s progress for you.

 

Happy St. Stephen’s Day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

The Irish Christmas Elf name game.

Mine is Aloysius MacBrussel sprouts.    I had a lovely picture and the naughty elf amended it for some reason.    No wonder why it’s always on the shelf with this type of behavior.

Thank you.    Don’t mind if I do have another Sprout.

I have had a massive glorious meal after a Christmas morning swim, beach walk and Howth walk.    Maybe it’s just as well that we are going back into lockdown as my love of sprouts turns my apartment into Grand Central flatulence station.    For once, Buzz and Finn are not to blame.

They wore their Christmas outfits well although Buzz was a little peeved with his at first and stood still staring at me for a few moments as if to say ‘Seriously ?really? You expect me to wear this?’    Finn tried to reef it off him yesterday on the beach.    He got the elf hat off which they both decided to have a tug of war with.    Until what was left was a doggy spit covered felt rag. Lots of folk had Christmas themed outfits on their pet pooches and just as many had not. I began to think that those that had not wouldn’t be caught dead dressing their pooch up.    But whatevs, it’s just as well that we are all different.

Buzz has left the room as my sprouts parped hello.    He is somewhat indignant and smug in his swagger, in that it wasn’t him.    Just as well that sprouts are just for Christmas……

Happy Christmas.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

 

Christmas Eve 2020

 

 

 

As the song ‘And so this is Christmas’ by John Lennon goes

 

And so this is Christmas

And what have you done?

Another year over

A New one just begun

 

So, what have I done?    Like a lot of people, not an awful lot.     Just trying to stay safe and keep others safe too.    I have done a lot of reflection, and self-analysis. Mindful of the phrase ‘analysis leads to paralysis ‘.  Back in Christmas 2018, if anyone had said that the world would come to a screeching halt by the end of 2019, I am pretty sure no one would have believed them.    I wonder if Nostradamus or psychics predicted this?     If anything ‘The Simpsons’ seem to be the greatest predictors of the future.     So far they have predicted

 

  1. Donald Trump’s presidency.
  2. Lady Gaga flying into the super bowl.
  3. Holmstrom and Oliver Hart winning a Nobel prize in 2016 in economics.
  4. Siegfried and Roy being attacked by their tiger.
  5. The UK horse meat scandal.
  6. The virtual reality game ‘Farmville’.
  7. Two Beatles fans receiving replies to their letters 50 years after sending them.
  8. Smart watches featured in 1995.
  9. Disney buying Fox was predicted in 1998.
  10. US winning an Olympic medal in curling.
  11. In 1993 the ‘Osaka Flu’

 

Perhaps we need to look to The Simpsons for 2021?

 

Happy Christmas and have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

 

Poem 2020

 

I love this cartoon.  Although some part of me says ‘Well’, and what if she was female? what of it? .

I was rather pensive this morning and wrote the following in anticipation of the upcoming lockdown.

 

 

2020

We are the masked crusaders

Struggling to be cheerleaders

Masking our tears

Masking our fears

Grieving those departed

Lost, heavy hearted

Longing to touch

Missing them so much

Trying to keep active

In remembering how to live

We honor their memory

By living to be free

Exercising resilience

Defying defiance

Being helpful and kind

Minding our minds

We will overcome this plight

With our will and our might

And be stronger still

Emanating good will

 

 

 

Bucket list to Fuckit list

http://www.raesidecartoon.com/

 

What a year?  Apparently after this year if you have a bucket list

it can now be officially called a fuckit list.    In adopting this philosophy my list has been amended to include the following.

 

  1.    ‘Travelling the world’ has now become ‘travelling to the local shop’.    And if I manage to not step in dog poop there is a cause for a celebratory cup of tea upon my return. It’s all about the small wins.
  2.    ‘Go white water rafting’ has now become ‘having a bath after a very hot curry’.
  3. ‘   Read Dostoyevsky’ has become ‘reading my Viz magazines’ again.
  4. ‘   Go Shark cage diving ‘has become ‘wearing a mask outside and washing my hands continuously’.
  5.    ‘Go to an Airport and book a random flight anywhere’ has become ‘ Close my eyes and press a button on my remote control whilst in Netflix, and watch whatever I press’.    Also known as ‘Netflix roulette’.    I know.    I am soooo living on the edge.
  6.    ‘Learn to fly’ has become ‘Chase a butterfly’.
  7.    ‘Say yes to everything for a day’ has become ‘Yes, I will wash my hands repeatedly and wear my mask, and try to complete a random act of kindness without the person knowing’.

Well.    Now.    I am off to have a curry and a bath.  It’s never too late to take action.   Afterwards I may play ‘Netflix Roulette’.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele