I had to wait a while to post about Sinead’s passing, as I miss her terribly. Troy and Just Like You Said It Would Be are the songs I sing in the shower. I know all the lyrics and am woeful at singing them. My two dogs dive beneath the duvet to avoid having to listen to me.
Just Like You Said It Would Be
Last weekend, a few friends and I were trying to get into a late bar for a boogie. I started singing,’ It’s been seven hours and fifteen days since I‘ve been in this feckin queue.’ I told the bouncer I would not shut up singing until he let us in. All my efforts failed miserably, and we scuttled off with our tails between our legs. A few youngsters were behind us, and I told them that they had to sing a Sinead ‘O Connor song to get in, which made them smile.
To say Sinead was a trailblazer is an understatement. She called out the Catholic Church on Saturday Night Live by ripping up a picture of the Pope and proclaiming, ‘Fight the real enemy.’ Having watched the documentary about her life, what struck me the most was her unique worldview. She was essentially sent to a hospice occasionally for the women of the Magdalene Laundry as punishment from her school, as it was next door. And she was often in trouble. She stayed up talking to some of them and heard their stories. No one else would have been in possession of the information that she gleaned about the Catholic Church from those poor women.
I know that she is happy in heaven with her son and loved ones.
All the best
How lucky is Martha Stewart to have Robin Williams in her kitchen? They were the days when double entendres were not part of the cookery landscape. With The Great British Bake Off, they are now an everyday occurrence for a giggle.
Knock Knock – Cumin.
And all his humour is ridiculously clever. He really was such a genius. I have done a few blogs on him but cannot help it. I miss him and am a huge fan.
This is my favorite clip with Joanna Lumley and David Walliams. Warning – Extremely woeful Double Entendres
Viz Magazine has had a character for over thirty years called Finbar Saunders and his Double Entendres, which always cracks me up.
Finbar’s Mum states, ‘ I like nothing more than a nice hot pink one inside me first thing in the morning,’ referring to how she loves a cooked sausage with a cooked breakfast. His response is always,’ Fnarr, fnarr,’ which I always use when I hear a witty smutty remark/double entendre. Having a filthy sense of humour is an affliction that I am very proud of.
It does get me into trouble sometimes, such as when a fun evening consisted of asking everyone’s porn names. We were a healthcare committee group with a few visiting Professors. As you may know, the porn name game involves taking the name of your first pet and then your mother’s maiden name. Mine would be Pepi Leahy. Instead, I announced to the 20-strong table,’ Bang me Hard.’ Cue much mirth and giggles. Nobody could believe me, and they were right, too.
All the best
It is called Electric Picnic for a reason, epic and electric. I get that the majority of people do not find traipsing around a field for three days to be their idea of fun. Or performing ablutions in dodgy toilets, but for 70, 000 people it is an annual experience not to be missed. And I am one of them. My friend bought our tickets for 2024 the week before we went to the festival as we got a loyalty and early bird discount. This was my sixth year to attend. Even when the weather is dodge, it is still good, and thankfully, the weather was fab this year.
So, I will not bore you with who was great and the ridiculous and eccentric sights that I was treated to every day. Pleeeease do, I hear you holler…… Well, The King Kong Company, a group of lads from Waterford, were my highlights, along with Billy Eilish. Billy was sick with the flu and still sounded great. Dare I say it, but The King Kong Company are better than the Chemical Brothers. There. I said it. Tom Odell was fab; he was so excited he stood on his piano. Lyra and Women in Harmony were extra special, and beautiful tributes were sung in memory of Sinead ‘O Connor. And Imelda May performed her poetry beautifully.
Trench Town, The Trailer Park and Brewtopolis (The rave tent) were some of my fav areas. Each year they seem to add to it. Next year Electric Picnic will be twenty years old. It really is hard to believe.
Last year it took us two hours to find our tent. This year it took us two hours to find our car at the end of the festival. What gobshites? We decided not to take a photo of the car park sign as we were so close to the entrance. Oh, and we nearly burnt the tent down, but besides that, it really was off the scale, fab.
Oh, and I got to perform my poetry thanks to The Dublin Writer Stephen Smith, and Charlotte Black, Move with Charlotte. Thank you both so much. It was a dream come true.
All the best
God, I love this man. Michael ‘O Leary runs the greatest airline in the world and is unapologetically notorious for his marketing and sales strategies. In this clip, he is interviewed on the Late Late Show and proposes the following.
- Add more seats by removing the toilets.
- Have a standing cabin for domestic flights where a standing fare is £1 and seated is £25. This would be for fares between Ireland and the UK.
- Is the customer always right? His answer is No; the customer is nearly always wrong.
He continued to elucidate the primary complaints they received. The first is about non-refundable tickets – What part of non-refundable do you not understand? He does have a point. And the bugle that plays when a flight is on time. I agree with this one, as it is very annoying.
As a child, I remember passengers clapping when the plane landed, and I loved it.
What’s next, special flights for heavy people, no baggage flights? Pilot free flights, well, we are heading towards driverless cars. Would you get on a plane without a pilot?
I am off to see if I can buy a jet pack online. I read the Ryanair book when I was studying for my Masters. My brother advised, following his Masters, that it was the greatest business book ever written. And he was right.
All the best
I confess that I have been remiss in my mission to make you smile. My last three posts have been pensive and melancholy, as that is how I felt. Perhaps because I had eaten too much cauliflower rice and melon desserts. Geddit? Melon and Cauli, melancholy……. Dreadful. I know.
I felt I needed to write poetry as I have always found it to be a powerful cathartic tool. My favourite word is catharsis, particularly where my writing is concerned. It is like the literary equivalent of a deep cleansing breath.
I shall dial up the funny over the next three blogs to make up for it. Beginning with this clip where The Rock imitates Kevin Hart and vice versa. I love their friendship and how they crack each other up continuously. They are such an unlikely pair: the Little and Large of our time.
The big eye from Kevin Hart and then The Rock trying to act like a small person gives me the giggles. They must have the best bromance in Hollywood, as they are forever posting clips of their silly antics.
And some more The Rock and Kevin Hart. Why? Because I can. This is a great phrase that I was reminded of while watching the National Television Awards. Bobby Brazier, the son of the late Jade Goody, honoured his dad, Jeff Brazier, by saying, ‘Why, because I can,’ when he won the best newcomer award for his part in Eastenders.
All the best
If you have not guessed from my previous blogs, I love, love, love the sea.
Synch or Swim
Salty sea cleansing
I am the sea.
And I see me
All the best
I met a middle-aged lady a few weeks ago on Malahide Beach. She has lived on the beach in a blue tent for two years. The hostels do not appeal to her as there are too many people with addiction issues.
My eyeliner defining me.
My shapewear smoothing my belly.
My blue glitter varnish celebrating my hands.
My Buddha and infinity rings anything but bland.
My coral lipstick to decorate my words
Is my vanity absurd?
Is my ego doing a dance?
In preparation for parlance
Words are trivial
They embellish the convivial.
Conversations and libations
Of philanthropic intentions
Not to mention the pavement person
Outside homeless, another version
Of any one of us. There for the grace of God
As I skulk by with a coin toss and a shameful nod
All the best
Years ago, I visited Glasnevin Cemetery with a friend but had been too late to book a tour. This time we got it right. What can I say? It was fabulous. If you are into Irish history, it is a must. I loved that they shared some celebrity stories too. Arianna Grande visited and had her photograph taken, which she posted to her Instagram. It got over a million views. And Rod Stewart often visits when he is in Ireland and stands by Grace O Malley’s grave and sings the song, ‘Grace’.
Daniel O Connell’s tomb, Parnell’s and Michael Collin’s graves had amazing stories. Such as Daniel O Connell’s heart is missing from France. It was kept in a box in a tomb and stolen. Michael Collin’s widow wore her wedding dress to the funeral of Michael as they were due to marry.
Parnell’s grave is known as the Cholera Pit. He wanted no special treatment upon his death and asked to be buried with his people. Many of whom had died of Cholera. As the Tolka River ran beneath the pit, it carried Cholera around Dublin, and many more died of the disease. There is a large boulder engraved with ‘Parnell’ to signify his resting place and that of his people.
A Scottish teacher took her easter break to attend the 1916 Rising. In her spare time, she was a sniper. During the Rising, she was shot three times. Other insurgents smuggled her out of Ireland back to Scotland for school on Tuesday.
I understand that cemeteries are not for everyone, but I always seem to find them, like churches, to be very peaceful and serene places.
All the best
I recall from my time working in Dubai that the Fibber McGees pub on Sheikh Zayed Road had a similar sign on a chalk sandwich board as you walked in. It was- Please leave your husband here in the man creche whilst you shop. You will have the peace of mind of knowing that he is getting quietly sozzled as you spend to your heart’s content.
Today, Dubai is marketed as the ‘Monaco’ of the Middle East. Their tourism marketing has always been off the scale. If you are into high life, awesome hotels, modern architecture and sunshine, then this is the place for you. I left in 2013, having lived there for eight years. I remember going to Fibbers when you could not see your hand in front of you for cigarette smoke.
Fibbers had a fab weekly pub quiz which featured a creative round. It is probably my favourite pub quiz ever. This varied from being given tin foil to design a hat for the Races to plasticine for a new Iconic structure for the country we hailed from. My friends and I created a Rainbow with a leprechaun and a cock of gold. Bringing the tone down was something we excelled in.
All the best
World Ocean Day was last month on June 08th. I had a perfect walk on Malahide Beach with my dogs, Buzz and Finn. We had it all to ourselves as a relentless light rain drizzled down. My trusty Orca Robe kept me warm. I have ‘The sea is my frequensea’ embroidered onto my right lapel, and as I left the beach, someone remarked that they liked the saying, which was nice as it is my phrase. When I got home, I was inspired to write this poem as the dunes are ravaged further each time I visit, and the coastal erosion is evident.
The sea swims within me.
Waves crashing, mind no longer dashing.
It is louder today, the sea.
As the seagulls, in the heavy rain, sing.
I have it to myself, just the sea and me.
Sea weed-strewn shells of oyster, razor and crab claws.
Four cormorants fly by so gracefully.
Then a curious heron enraptures me with awe.
The erosion is evident every time I visit.
The sea angrily chewing the coast in protest.
Chunks of dune on the beach like litter.
As we plunder and pillage an ocean that is no longer blessed.
By Adele Leahy
All the best