International Dog Day August 26th

Doggone but International Dog Day has to be the best day of the year. WPA (Woeful Pun Alert) It is fur everyone, whether you have a fur baby or not, evfurry one is welcome to pawticipate. If you have had a ruff day it may be just what you need to attract more pawsivity.

Many tails have been written about dogs, and Vanity Fur recently celebrated their cuteness and loyalty. My series – The Dog Web, on Patreon, features Buzz as the Editor of the neighbourhood newsletter. Finn is his trusty sidekick, who reports on the 4 am park gathering that has become The Woof Light District.

https://www.ndtv.com/offbeat/international-dog-day-date-history-and-significance-6412778

I cannot finish this blog without featuring (again) my favourite dog-related poem, featuring famous doggy rock bands. You’re welcome.

 

Poem Doggy Rock

If dogs could talk, I so wish they would rock.

I know as a band; they would enthral and shock.

They could be called Bone Jovi

And boy, how I would Live on their prayer daily.

What about Snow Pawtrol?

I would Run to see them, Rock’n Roll,

Super Furry Animals and their Golden Retriever would light up a crowd.

The Animals at their Carnival playing loud and proud.

Furreigner singing Don’t stop retrievers,

Is a song I would truly believe in.

I gotta feeling Ruff Leopard and the Black Eyed Paws,

Would bring out the Animal in me and fill me full of awe.

Bones and Roses and Muttley Crue would never be Estranged.

And in Paradise City, I would dance deranged.

I would have Faith in Limp Dog Bizkit, Earth, Wind and Furr;

As they rock my canine Fantasy making my imagination stir.

The Velvet Undergrowl would give Some kinda love;

Then more Love etc, as the Pet Shop Boys go above

And beyond. The Boomtown Ruffs would make us always like Mondays.

And the Hot House Fowlers with Don’t Go could be the latest craze.

The Waggerboys would have me wagging my tail.

To The Whole of the Moon, I would chorus and wail.

I would never Give it away to the Red Hot Chili Papillons.

And Eight days a week, the Beagles would have me singing every song.

The Irish Rovers would support the magnificent Muttorhead.

And I’ll tell me Ma my Heroes have all my dreams made.

Daschund Midnight runners and Geno would be festival stunners.

As Barkade Fire Wake up and give so much wonder.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Poem Red Lipstick

Here is my latest whimsical poem for your review. My lipstick is too bright at the best of times, so I decided to write a poem about it.

 

 

Red Lipstick

I shall wear too much red lipstick today.

I’m going to splash in puddles and sing in the rain.

The hills are alive with the Sound of Music.

I shall wave at the boats, leaving the estuary.

And collect my oyster shells to make necklaces. I’m a bit crafty you see.

I shall use my favourite word today – panacea.

And if you think I am being verbose – See ya.

I shall stand up for myself and be as cheeky as a pup.

I will do my silly walk to cheer myself up.

I shall assert myself. NO, is a complete sentence.

Why are you being such an unbelievable menace?

I shall practice my pointless dolphin impression.

And in my car, scream out my frustrations.

No catastrophizing or ruminating for me.

I shall wear a moustache ice cream from Scrumdiddly.

I will meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same.

I will wear garish clothes and be mutton dressed as lamb. 

I will tell silly jokes and not give a care

How many ears did Dr. Spock have?

Three.

The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.

Slow down snails crossing, I will chalk on my local park path.

I never achieve much when I scurry and dash.

Free swallow aerial display at 4 pm today;

Will also be chalked to remind folk to notice them feeding and at play.

My Dementors and fear can take a run and a jump.

I have lived too much; I have no cares left. NONE.

I’ll still be kind and help where I can,

But I will no longer dim my light, for anyone as I am my superwoman.

By

Adele Leahy

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

 

 

Olympic Games and New Irish Olympic Games

Ireland did mighty in the Olympics. Seven medals for a nation as small as ours is relatively unheard of. From rowing to boxing, gymnastics and swimming, our team were truly incredible. Their homecoming was a joy to behold and I know they will continue to make Ireland proud.

Tom Cruise closing the ceremony with his stunts was another spectacle to behold as he received the Olympic flame for the USA to hold the Olympics in 2028.

https://youtu.be/49u3TrRwpOE?si=CO1-IUvOfuQAPjwJ

New games such as baseball, squash, surfing, skateboarding and karate.

92FM was discussing on the radio today the games that would need to possibly be added if Ireland were ever to host the Olympic Games. Here are a few of my suggestions

  1. Turfing- who can cut the most turf in five minutes.
  2. Guinness – most perfect Guinness pints poured in Ten Minutes.
  3. Cow Milking – Most cows milked in one hour.
  4. Slagging – the wittiest roasting match, Irish style.
  5. Bodhran speed – The fastest bodhran player.

Ultimately, if the above, could be combined to be a circuit I think it would have maximum effect. Starting with the turfing, onto the Guinness pouring, followed by the cow milking, slagging and bodhran playing.

What do you think? Have you any other suggestions?

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Best of Blogs Quarter Two 2024

I had to be course and basic to celebrate my 500th blog, and Biden’s Fart, did the job. My favourite poem has always been Kim Kardashian’s Arse which is why it seemed appropriate to write a poem in honour of Biden’s unapologetic flatulence. The salute after he farts will always make me smile.

The irony of Trump, trumping his was through his court proceedings was not lost on anyone. Saturday Night Live and Graham Norton can’t get enough of Trump as he is pure comedy gold. Here are the funniest stories. My all-time favourite has to be Trump’s commencement speech which was identical to Elle’s graduation speech from Legally Blonde. Reese Witherspoon is so humble when Graham brings it up and the reaction of Harrison Ford is pure class. You have to see it to believe it.

The Charlie Sheen Cuff Link story is priceless too.

The Funniest Donald Trump Stories On The Graham Norton Show | Part One

 

https://youtu.be/uOBF9qPto4c?si=g1B_X5AyItG4VL0w

Final Debate Cold Open – SNL

 

https://youtu.be/ozGr4IsTUng?si=wh9DXx2JfKYq2kBB

Best of Blogs Quarter Two 2024

 

  1. April

https://adeleleahy.ie/april-fools-day-2024april-fools-day-2024/

 

2. May

https://adeleleahy.ie/500th-blog-and-bidens-fart/

 

3. May

https://adeleleahy.ie/stand-up-vs-therapy-part-one-of-two/

 

https://adeleleahy.ie/stand-up-vs-therapy-part-two-of-two-2/

 

4. June

https://adeleleahy.ie/anxious-comedy-relief/

 

5. June

https://adeleleahy.ie/how-to-avoid-charity-workers/

 

6. June

https://adeleleahy.ie/harry-enfield-i-saw-you-coming/

 

7. June

https://adeleleahy.ie/glastonbury-memories-2002/

 

8. July

https://adeleleahy.ie/ibiza-trip/

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

 

Best of Blogs Quarter One 2024

And here they are. My favourite blogs from the first quarter of this year. I always love looking back and reading them as I can remember feck all. If I smile, it is all the better. Writing new poetry is always enjoyable and I am pleased to say that – I Google Therefore I Am, always goes down well when I perform it.

One of my goals at the beginning of the year was to begin to perform Stand up Comedy and I am glad to say I have done this.

As my teacher in National School said on my report when I was Eight years old – When she is good, she is very very good and vice versa. In other words, I can do a good set and the next time I can bomb and forget my lines.

  1. Jan

https://adeleleahy.ie/happy-new-years-day-2024happy-new-years-day-2024/#

 

  1. Jan

https://adeleleahy.ie/best-blogs-of-2023-last-quarter/

 

 

  1. Feb

https://adeleleahy.ie/poem-i-google-therefore-i-am/

 

  1. Feb

https://adeleleahy.ie/poem-my-name-is-not-audrey/

 

  1. Feb

https://adeleleahy.ie/doris-the-sleepy-cow/

 

  1. Feb/March

https://adeleleahy.ie/happy-international-monday-and-other-silly-days-part-one-of-three/

https://adeleleahy.ie/happy-international-monday-and-other-silly-days-part-two-of-three/

https://adeleleahy.ie/happy-international-monday-and-other-silly-days-part-three-of-three/

 

  1. March

https://adeleleahy.ie/stand-up-comedy-ikea/

 

  1. March

https://adeleleahy.ie/happy-early-easter-2024/

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast Part Four of Four

 

  1. Not say hello to the bees, busy on the lavender plants while I walk Buzz & Finn. IMPOSSIBLE.
  2. Be sullen and ungrateful for the day. Impossible. Although, I have my moments. I am not perfect but sometimes I am so close I can almost taste it.
  3. Stop saying – This Too Shall Pass, is a great motto for anyone suffering from constipation. Impossible. It makes me smile.
  4. Not write, in chalk on my local park path – Free swallow aerial display at 4 pm today. Impossible. It is such a spectacular display. The – Slow Down, Snails of Waterside crossing chalk path message, was a success.
  5. Not submit my three children’s books and the Triple D Comedy script. I have to extract the proverbial digit. Impossible. I have to do it.
  6. Perfect my Yodelling and Dolphin impersonation. Impossible. They are already perfect.

Which rabbit hole shall I go down today?

  1. Watch The Monty Python Silly Olympics clip on YouTube in preparation for the real Olympics next month?
  2. Google all the Irish Athletes that are competing. We have many hopefuls in swimming, boxing, rowing, track and gymnastics.
  3. Pretend that the Aldi Trolley Dash- when they open a new till- is an actual Olympic event .

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

 

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast Part Three of Four

This will always be one of my favourite blogs as I adore Alice in Wonderland. I regularly find myself going down a rabbit hole, predominantly of the Google kind. So, here are parts three of four.

What rabbit hole will you be going down today? Keep it clean please……

  1. Leap out of bed with Joie de Vivre and Gusto. Impossible. Josi de Vivre and Gusto vehemently refused to get out of bed.
  2. To become vegetarian. Impossible. Even with the shite weather, it’s still BBQ season.
  3. Train Buzz and Finn to be less adorable. Impossible. They are ridiculously cute.
  4. Not get excited about performing at Electric Picnic in Mindfield next Month, as organised by the virtuoso, David Hynes. Impossible.
  5. Not get excited about performing my first Stand Up Comedy gig at The Ha’penny Bar Comedy Club in August. Impossible.
  6. Not to have the song, I like the way you kiss me, by Artemis, as an earworm in my head all day.

The Google rabbit and wormholes that I see myself going down today are most likely the following

  1. How to put together a trampette. It is a small trampoline and I have made three attempts so far, hopefully, this will be my final one.
  2. How to make oyster shell necklaces.
  3. How to find a real rabbit hole.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

Fingal Poetry Festival I won

I am over the moon as I came first in the final heat of The Fingal Poetry Festival. This means that I am entered into the festival final on September 13th. Last year I was in the final and it was such an incredible night. Gerard Devine won and could not have been a more worthy recipient. Watching Gerry perform his spoken word was like witnessing a mini play in the Gate Theatre.

He is a formidable man, at over 6ft 4 inches, a firefighter, and whilst on stage he wore a costume and brandished a huge rock and hammer to illustrate his poem.

I performed- I Google Therefore I am. It is a whimsical poem I read at The Sceal Sessions Balbriggan Open Mic in February. It took some time to memorize the poem, but I managed to perform it without fluffing my lines. I have to use word association, imagining silly images and recording myself, so that I can listen to it when I am driving as otherwise, I will forget.

Sheila Ryder produced another magnificent evening and Geoff the Poet (featured poet) was mind-blowing, as always. Stephen The Writer also performed. It was lovely to see him, and he gave me the opportunity to perform at Electric Picnic last year.

This year I am a performer and will have access to the performer’s area. I cannot wait.

Laterz

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Ibiza Trip

A friend has returned from her holiday in Ibiza and I was reminded of my trip there some years ago. It is such a beautiful island and a friend and I were booked to see Tinie Tempah at The Hard Rock Hotel. Off we trotted and as we were heading down a very busy street lined with bars, we were accosted by a young guy asking us to drink in his bar. We were in our early forties and we guessed he was feeling sorry for the two aul ones.

We tried to get away but he was persistent.   Eventually, he asked us

-Cock, or balls?

-What, we both bellowed

-Cock or balls?

To which he then proceeded to unzip himself and take out his cock and balls to show them off to us.

We couldn’t stop laughing and needless to say we sat down for a drink.

I don’t believe I will ever be invited to take a drink in anyone’s bar in the same manner, during my lifetime. Unless, perhaps, I am attending a BDSM-themed bar.

Any time I see Tinie Tempah now I am reminded of the experience.

Another place we visited was The Lio. https://www.liogroup.com/ibiza/the-experience

It was not as risqué as it is now. The food, cabaret and entertainment were awesome. At the time I had never experienced a theatrical dining experience quite like it. Nowadays it may be deemed a Burlesque Show. Maybe Mr. Cock and Balls is the new manager?

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Glastonbury Memories 2002

The White Stripes, Glastonbury 2002

https://youtu.be/9ccSr53-64U?si=UErI2VB0Sxegaevf

 

Where do I start? I have so many memories and over the years I have a blog about Glastonbury as I see it as one of my spiritual homes. In 2002 when I saw the beautiful multi-coloured flags and went to the Pyramid Stage I was converted and vowed to keep visiting Glastonbury (whenever I was lucky enough to get tickets) until I am 80 years old.

The White Stripes blew me away. It was hard to believe they could deliver such sound and energy with only a drummer and a vocalist. Jack White (vocalist) and Meg White (percussion) were undoubtedly among the best bands I have seen in over 20 years. When they hit the big time, they swore they were siblings but in 2001 it was revealed they had been married and subsequently divorced.

The Stereophonics from Wales were awesome too.  I got to chase a giant beach ball (it must have been about 12 feet high) around the Kidz Field. The Giant Mad Max and Kangaroos on stilts in the Circus Field were a magical sight to behold and watching the sunset at The Stones on Friday night was a perfect end to a perfect first day of Glastonbury.

The new 5-mile perimeter fence was installed that year and 140,000 music and arts revellers enjoyed the fantastic weather. Tickets went on sale in February and sold out after a few weeks. Whereas now they sell out in 10-15 minutes with between 4 and 5 million people worldwide looking for tickets.

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele