Month: August 2021

As promised here are the lyrics of Oxford Comma for your perusal.

 

Oxford Comma

By Vampire Weekend

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
I’ve seen those English dramas too, they’re cruel
So if there’s any other way
To spell the word, it’s fine with me, with me

Why would you speak to me that way?
Especially when I always said that I
Haven’t got the words for you
All your diction drippin’ with disdain
Through the pain, I always tell the truth

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
I climbed to Dharamsala too, I did
I met the highest Lama
His accent sounded fine to me, to me

Check your handbook, it’s no trick
Take the Chapstick, put it on your lips
Crack a smile, adjust my tie
Know your boyfriend, unlike other guys

Why would you lie ’bout how much coal you have?
Why would you lie ’bout somethin’ dumb like that?
Why would you lie ’bout anythin’ at all?
First the window, then it’s to the wall
Lil Jon, he always tells the truth

Check your passport, it’s no trick
Take the Chapstick, put it on your lips
Crack a smile, adjust my tie
Know your butler, unlike other guys

Why would you lie ’bout how much coal you have?
Why would you lie ’bout somethin’ dumb like that?
Why would you lie ’bout anythin’ at all?
First the window, then it’s to the wall
Why would you tape my conversations?
Show your paintings at the United Nations
Lil Jon, he always tells the truth

As Matt had asked me (in my dream) to write a song that could rival ‘Oxford Comma’.  I could not refuse. This was such a lofty ask as I knew that I could never even begin to write anything as good.   But here goes.  I couldn’t let Matt down.

 

Trinity hyphen 

By Adele Leahy

Why look down your nose at me

Just because I study at UCD

Your pearls of wisdom are empty

You Trinners don’t create philosophy

 

 

I ‘ve climbed Croagh Patrick

Said Hail Mary’s till I was sick

Became enlightened through the fog that was thick

Snogged someone on the way down and felt the ick

 

 

Your fella is too cool

He struts as though he rules

But his poetry is painful and dark

I don’t get his dystopian lark

 

 

Colour your lips. light your roach

Stand superior signalling don’t approach

Intimate my studies have no hope

Then hug me telling me I’m a dope

 

 

It’s all in my head that Trinity is way ahead

We are all the same. Playing this life game.

Ye are kind and great craic

Just need to get my perspective back

 

 

Sometimes I get it wrong

Then I write my songs

And the confusion abates

As I think of love and not hate

 

 

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

I dreamt last night that I was spending the evening with one of my favorite bands ‘Muse’.   Dreams that feature one of the best bands on the planet are rare for me, which is why I feel the need to share it.

The fact that the Q Awards recognized Muse as outstanding live performers was born by their wins in 2004,2006, and 2007.   They also won ‘Best Act in the World Today’ in 2009, 2012 and 2016.

I had the very great pleasure of seeing them perform their debut album ‘Origin of Symmetry’ in Colston Hall in Bristol in 2001.  They are unreal live.  Matt Bellamy’s voice almost rivals that of Freddie Mercury.

Here is one of their best songs

Muse- Uprising

https://youtu.be/w8KQmps-Sog

In my dream we were discussing bands and songs that meant the most to us. Matt Bellamy- the lead singer of Muse- asked me about songs that I adored but that lyrically did not make any sense to me.   I mentioned that REM are famous for this albeit that they were one of the greatest bands in the world throughout the 80’s and 90’s.

We agreed that Vampire Weekend are an exceptional band even with their rather abstract lyrics.   The song ‘Oxford Comma’ was discussed.   I pulled up the lyrics and we tried to make sense of them. Here is the really cool video for your perusal. Oh, and ‘A Punk’ too just because I love it. Tomorrow, I attempt to write an Irish version of Oxford Comma……..

 

Oxford Comma-Vampire Weekend

https://youtu.be/P_i1xk07o4g

A Punk – Vampire Weekend

https://youtu.be/_XC2mqcMMGQ

Oh, and as I am on a bit of a roll here is ‘Barbara Streisand’ by Duck Sauce which features the lead singer of Vampire Weekend ‘Ezra Koenig’, Kanye West and Pharell Williams.

Barbara Streisand by Duck Sauce

https://youtu.be/wWhtcU4-xAM

I am thinking of writing a song called ‘Linda Martin’ in homage to our wonderful Irish Singer and winner of the 1992 Eurovision as inspired by this Duck Sauce song. What do you think? Let me know in the comments.

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

Recently I have mentioned how I have been manifesting things in a more frequent manner than normal. Yesterday’s blog was paying homage to Phoebe Waller Bridge and Andrew Scott in ‘Fleabag’.  And today I am mortified to announce that I have my very own personal ‘Fleabag ’aka ‘Fleabag Finn’.

My lovely little pooch has feckin fleas.   I wouldn’t mind but I had defleaed both Buzz and Finn in August with the vet recommended medicine. Which obviously didn’t work.

A cleaning neurosis has now taken over me with my eagle eye constantly on the lookout for Buzz and Finn scratching.   The washing machine is about ready to blow up with the amount of washing that has been done.

Just when I think that I have washed and cleaned everything I think of something else that could possibly be contaminated.   YouTube is always fabulous for unfortunate events such as this.

I have recently joined a dating website and considered writing in my bio’ I am a great gal with a myriad of wonderful qualities and skills however my dog has fleas’.   I thought again as perhaps this admission is one that does not need to be shared (Except here in the relative safety of my blog). I am off to wash the poor little Feckers again.

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

I wrote a short story recently that was somewhat inspired by the fabulous TV series ‘Fleabag’ with Phoebe Waller Bridge.    It was the ‘Hot Priest’ played by Andrew Scott that got my juices flowing if you can perhaps excuse the woeful double entendre.

Basically, I have a member of the clergy in my story.   It is called ‘Flashing Pope’ and features a very naughty nun.   The other day I was told that it has been accepted for publication in next year’s anthology by https://www.thi-wurd.com/. I am thrilled as it is an excellent publication run by Alan McMunnigall.

The Fleabag clip below is my favorite scene of all time from any movie or TV Series.

Fleabag Subway scene

https://youtu.be/1vgCPKvb8tc

It was quite a dark scene but I am partial to the shadows at times.  Fleabag is all about breaking the fourth wall. I can recall the moment I heard the phrase ‘fourth wall’. I was dumbfounded as I had never heard the word before. New words or phrases always tickle me.

Apparently, it means where the actor engages the audience directly or allows them to read their mind. In Fleabag Phoebe Waller Bridge treats the camera as a confessional box.  All of her walls are up and the only one that she can break is the fourth.

At the time I wished I knew the meaning as I was in the company of some thespians.  Bullshitting momentarily crossed my mind but I decided against it as I knew my bullshitting skills would be inferior.

Eventually I plucked up the courage to ask what it meant.  All this writing has made me peckish so I am off to break the fourth wall of my fridge……….( not sure how much sense that makes but felt the need to write some nonsense- it won’t be the first or last time that I shall be indulging my whimsy).

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

I got a letter today from The Canine Union and Federation of Ireland regarding unequal cuddling.  It was a shock to say the least as I am always conscious of giving as many cuddles to Buzz as I do to Finn.

The problem is that Finn is a cuddle monster and will always paw my hand as soon as I have stopped patting him.  As if you to say ‘I ‘ll let you know when my cuddling quotient has been reached (which is never as he is relentless and also very difficult to resist).

Buzz on the other hand is less cuddly but as I have mentioned before he has seriously upped his game to rival Finn’s affections.  He was never a fan of belly rubs but lately he lies prone in the morning demanding one.  He has an irresistible belly.

I will definitely need to be more mindful of the possible unequal distribution of cuddles on my part.  I am spoilt by both of them.  Buzz has taken to licking my ankles of late which is such a treat.  Maybe that is why he reported me?  As he is putting more hours in and not getting the correct amount of cuddles in return?

Whenever they both meet strangers, they go mental to be patted. It’s very cute but could also intimate that they are seriously cuddle deficient at home? It’s been a woof day. Now, where is Buzz as my ankles need licking.

Here is a nice funny doggie video for your perusal.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=BHLOt7fVVRg&feature=share

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

I must have manifested scam calls from writing about them as I have received three in the last few days. By the time the third caller came around I had my story off pat. This is how the conversation went

Caller- Congratulations you have won 10,000 euros.

Me- What fantastic news. I am so glad that I answered this call.

Caller- How can we transfer the funds?

Me- Goodness me I am still in shock from such an unbelievable windfall.

Caller- Well, you are one of the lucky ones.

Me-Please give it to my preferred charity.

Caller- Huh?

Me- Yes. The Jack & Jill Foundation in Dublin.

Caller- Ok, Mam (I just love it when I am called this. Not.) But we still require a deposit from you before we can release it to your charity.

Me- Here is the website for you to contact – https://www.jackandjill.ie/

Caller-Sorry Mam. But I require you to lodge 5,000 euros please?

Me-Yes, of course. Thank you very much.

At this point I put the phone down. He rang back and I spoke in Irish/Gaelic to him. He got a bit annoyed and I felt really bad for wasting his time. So, I apologized in Irish/Gaelic to him. Just to alleviate my guilt.

Incidentally the Jack and Jill Foundation is extraordinary. I had the privilege of working an agency nurse shift there years ago and was amazed at the quality of care and devotion that the staff have towards the children and the parents.

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

One of the stories that I have heard recently about scam calls is where my friend began to play along and then proclaimed after a few moments ‘You should be ashamed of yourself’ to which she received the reply ‘You rich c*t’ with the caller slamming down the phone.  She was a bit taken back to say the least.

The other story was where someone else decided to play along but subsequently lost his patience and then began to admonish the caller in what must have been a loud tone of voice.

Ok, let’s just say he must have been shouting.   Five minutes elapsed when he then received a call from the supervisor of the scam caller telling him off for speaking to his employee in a rude manner.

These two stories would be perfect scenes for a new up and coming sitcom that could be called ‘Scam Central’ with Dylan Moran, Katherine Ryan and Joe Lycett playing the leads.

And of course, a cameo from none other than Kathy Burke. I can see it all now.  That’s it, I’m off to write the script. Actually, No, I seem to have a message from a Nigerian prince which I must attend to first.

But let me share one of my favorite vids with you before I trot off.

Showing a scammer his own webcam

https://youtu.be/o2ixj0m4F_E

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

I think that everyone has fallen victim to a scam call.   They seem to be rather prevalent nowadays.   A few months ago, a friend of mine mentioned that she had received a call telling her that she was to be convicted of fraud and money laundering.   I found it hard to believe until I received the same call last week.

The voice at the end of the call was an automated American voice and I hung up immediately.   I really wish I had told them that I knew what they were talking about as I had left a tenner in the pocket of my jeans and had put it in the washing machine ( money laundering…geddit?) But, alas I did not.

I wonder how they recruit their callers?   Is there a special ‘School of Scamming’ that people can sign up to?   Are they wannabe double agents who see being a scam caller as an apprenticeship?

Is there an application form asking if they have a skill for duping people?  Do they need to have fallen victim to a scam themselves in order to be able to display the relevant skills? Here is a refreshing video where a professional scams the scammers.

Scammer payback

https://youtu.be/eq8cKjdNpCo

I have decided to play along the next time I receive one and let you know how I get on.   Lately I have heard some rather entertaining stories of others that have done so and who have found it to be an immensely entertaining past time.

I shall share them with you over the next few days. And here for your perusal and enjoyment is a link to the all-time greatest scammer of the scammers ‘Mr.Joe Lycett’.

https://youtu.be/e9FeL3U6uzs

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

Of all of the possible lawsuits that could ever be contrived this one really takes the biscuit or dollar bill.  The man who was the young baby on the cover of Nirvana’s ‘Nevermind’ album is suing the band for sexual exploitation.

The baby is famously pictured in the water reaching for a dollar bill and apparently it took 5 minutes to shoot. The photographer explains that the dollar bill on the fish hook was added in afterwards.

What is so incredulous about the lawsuit is that the grown-up baby ‘Spencer Elden’ has recreated the famous album cover on many occasions throughout his life including for its 25^th anniversary.   He was four months old when it was shot and the album went on to sell 30 million copies.

The lawsuit stated that Mr. Elden’s parents did not sign a release authorizing the use of any of the images. WPA Alert (Woeful pun alert) There was ‘Something in the way’ that the cover was shot that made it so memorable.

In preparation for the photoshoot the parents with their baby were told ‘ Come as you are’. The guy is obviously seeking financial nirvana but it does smell like a dodgy lawsuit to me. He may well be expecting ‘All apologies’ from the record company but it is possible that he will be a long time waiting as he is suing the remaining band members also.

 

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

Crikey ,I seem to have fallen down a rock’n roll hole.  Or perhaps I am on a rock’n roll roll?   (That’s bad. Even by my standards). After all this is my second blog paying homage to some of my favorite rockers.  This is completely self-indulgent and I make no apologies for the rabbit hole which I am still unwilling to climb out of.

‘Alive’ by Pearl Jam has to be one of the greatest rock songs ever. Here is a live BBC recording from 1992.

https://youtu.be/0unH11yjklE

The overly serious nature of the presenter is quite funny considering who she is introducing.   She may as well have announced the winner of The World Knitting Championship. The lead singer Eddie Vader has long been considered to be one of the best vocalists. Besides RIP Chris Cornell from Soundgarden.

As I was researching Mr. Vedder it was lovely to discover that he is one of the nicest men in Rock. Altruism and philanthropy for social and political causes are very close to his heart.

His greatest passion besides music is surfing and many of his songs have references to the sea in them. He is one of the few grunge vocalists that never fell victim to substance abuse. For some reason, unbeknownst to myself I felt the need to juxtapose the BBC recording with this video of Pearl Jam playing live.

https://youtu.be/qM0zINtulhM

It gives me serious goosebumps.  Eddie’s stage diving has to be unparalled. He almost made it into a Red Bull Extreme Sport event.  I cannot imagine anybody rivalling his skills.

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele