Yoyo Diets The string gets caught in my teeth Part 1

Michael McIntyre on Dieting


I can sympathize with Michael McIntyre’s metabolism.  Mine has the speed of a constipated snail.  Dieting has to be the most frustrating subject ever.   It has been the bane of my life.

As a teenager I crash dieted and since then the Yoyo diets have been a main annual feature.  Like the title says. The string gets caught in my teeth. Most people have found themselves on one at some time in their lives.  I have tried the following throughout the years with questionable results

  1. The Cabbage Diet- The house smelt like Old McDonald’s Farm. My eyes were watering and I was wincing with the fumes.   I expected to lose an extra few pounds as I had to leg it out to the back garden so many times with perpetual farting.  No such luck.  I can recall losing approx. 3 pounds.  When I was guaranteed at least 7lbs. I was devastated and then in my wisdom decided to go on the Keto Diet.


2. Keto Diet- This is where you can eat your body weight in fat and protein.  I found it to be very unpleasant as I do not enjoy eating or cooking with fat like oil or cream at the best of times.   After one week I gained 5 lbs.  Buzz and Finn left the bedroom once I had hopped off the scales.  I call it a ‘Mood Machine’.  They can both pick up my vibe pretty sharpish and felt that I needed to be alone in my misery.

My dieting tales of woe shall continue tomorrow.

That’s all for now

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Biologist Nan Hauser’s Life Was Saved by a Humpback Whale Part 2


Warning – Non funny content.  And (WPA) Woeful Pun Alert. Maybe the whale hug may make you smile…… And Ellen speaking whale ( as in her character ‘Dory’ in ‘Finding Nemo’)

Oh, and by the way if you feel the need to let me know that Ellen’s show is soon to end because of issues on the set.  I am aware of same and do not need to be admonished to be seemingly supporting her.

#Ellen#EllenDegeneres#The Ellen Show

Nan must have been feeling Fin-tastic following all of these encounters.

The means by which these astounding mammals find their way is extraordinarily so-fish-ticated.  Whales navigate primarily by using the tilt of the axis of the earth which is 23.439.

They use this angle to turn and all of its multiples. Where the earth is in comparison to the sun and the moon also plays a factor in their navigation.    There are also theories that they have magnetic sensors that effectively provide a biological compass as well as intra cellular gravity sensors.

I would love to have a magnetic sensor implanted into my brain as sometimes the Satellite Navigation in my car drives me demented. Ancestral DNA memory has also been postulated to contribute to the knowledge of their migratory path.

The fact that they remain an endangered species is no sea-cret.  Nan goes onto describe that their journey is most likely both celestial and mathematical.

Perhaps we can ask the universe and the global powers that be to agree upon legislation to stop fishermen placing their nets in their migratory path?  We could help protect these beautiful mammals.

Maybe someday it will be oh-fish-ial.    Let minnow if you have any more wonderful whale facts.    And just to end on a note of whimsy.

Where would you find a down and out calamari?

On Squid row.

That’s all for now

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Biologist Nan Hauser’s Life Was Saved by a Humpback Whale Part 1

#Ellen#EllenDegeneres#The Ellen Show

The Biologist Nan Hauser appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres Show to recount her amazing whale experience which occurred in 2017.

Warning – Non funny content.  And (WPA) Woeful Pun Alert. Maybe the whale hug may make you smile…… And Ellen speaking whale (as in her character ‘Dory’ in ‘Finding Nemo’)

Oh, and by the way if you feel the need to let me know that Ellen’s show is soon to end because of issues on the set.  I am aware of same and do not need to be admonished to be seemingly supporting her.

This video has to be my favorite (non-funny) video.  It was a Ray of sunshine when I discovered it. The story and information regarding whales and their behavior is extraordinary and caused me to in-whale and ex-whale deeply (Ok, really sorry about that one, as it is truly woeful) .  It is hard to believe that the humpback whale Orca- strated this rescue.

I have paraphrased here as I needed to write down this incredible information for my own posterity. The following events took place throughout the course of a year.

The whale

– saved her from a possible attack from an 18-foot tiger shark

-gives her a whale hug a few days later (on her birthday)

– recognizes her 1 year later

Nan Hauser goes on to explain that from satellite tagging scientists have discovered that when whales migrate, they follow a linear constant course segment.  Which essentially means a straight line.

And here is the unbelievable part. I’m not codding you. They do not even deviate by a degree for thousands of kilometers. If they took a direct route their migratory journey would be 4,000 kms long.

Part 2 tomorrow


Seaze the Day.

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Graham Norton Miriam Margolyes Part 3


And here it is.  The culmination of my ‘Miriam Margolyes on Graham Norton’ trilogy.  With a fitting end of the original appearance on his show that had everyone ( Including Graham ) in stitches. I shall not tell you what it is about as surprisingly enough it is even too rude for me.

Happy Belated 80th Birthday to this magnificent woman.     Here is a compilation from ‘This Morning’.

Somebody in the comments section on YouTube wrote that they could see the moment that Matthew Perry’s soul left his body which tickled me pink. Maybe it’s the fact that ‘Laurence Olivier’, ‘Cream’ and ‘Knickers’ are all in the one sentence eloquently delivered by an esteemed actress in her magnificent voice.

It’s all just rather unexpected which makes it so hilarious. It was at this point that Graham Norton must have realized that Miriam was an extraordinarily sweet, eccentric and funny guest.   The passing of the fan was what topped everything off perfectly.

Gemma Arterton was such a lady in her support and understanding of Miriam’s experience. `I know exactly what you mean` was exactly the most gracious thing to say.     It is without a shadow of a doubt my favorite video clip.   Not just because Miriam is so disarming and has no filter but for the comedy factor of Graham’s reaction and the other guests on the couch.   I am sure Laurence Olivier is smiling down at her saying ‘Go my girl, you are not the first nor the last that I had that effect on’.


That’s all for now

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Graham Norton Miriam Margolyes Part 2


As promised, please find the second wonderful video clip of Miriam Margolyes on Graham Norton being …. well……very ‘Miriam’.   Unapologetically herself.   Not intentionally trying to shock viewers but doing so all the same with a lovely twinkle in her eye.   You know she is outrageous when Graham is nearly falling off his seat laughing. He has seen and heard it all. I have seen his earlier shows and you can see that he is practically unshockable.


I do believe that she deserves to be honored for her services to the forces. There are not enough people willing to offer the relief that is often required by servicemen and servicewomen to allow them to overcome some of their post-traumatic stress.  It is a serious problem and one that needs addressing. But perhaps masturbation assistance is taking it a tad too far. As a former nurse we did a lot for patients but we draw the line at this.

I shall continue the final part of the trilogy tomorrow with the funniest of all her appearances on Graham Norton.   I can only imagine that Graham may now seek to warn future guests when Miriam is on as her story telling is possibly not to everyone’s taste.   I cannot wait to see her when she next appears as it begs the question ‘How can she top the stories that she has already told?’

That’s all for now

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Miriam Margolyes and Mamma Mia Part 1

This lady cracks me up. She has singularly been the funniest guest ever on Graham Norton. Without ever trying to be.  Her eccentric and enchanting manner always disarms even the most cynical of folk. All of the stories that she has shared whenever she has been a guest are completely shocking and unashamedly rude.

Graham has shared that she is one of his favorite guests.    On two of the most infamous occasions, she was sat beside W.I.L.L.I.A.M and Matthew Perry from Friends.   Both were rendered completely speechless by her stories.  I will post them over the next few days and allow this to become a Miriam Margolyes Blogging Trilogy.

Her innocence and candor lend themselves to whatever story she is telling.   Besides being an acclaimed actress she – as the above video clip- portrays magnificent honesty.  Which is quite rare to behold in many actors these days.

The fact that she has no problem telling the world that she thinks the movie ‘Mamma Mia’ is woeful is just perfect. I have not seen it myself but I have heard the same thing.

My tolerance for musicals has diminished greatly since I saw ‘Oliver’ in the West End 20 years ago.   Every musical I have seen since has failed miserably in comparison and I no longer bother going to see them.

Anyhoo I am off to NOT watch Mamma Mia.

That’s all for now

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World May 25th Day

Today is Global May 25th Day. I checked to see what the world was celebrating today and to my surprise there is nothing. Therefore, I have deemed it ‘World May 25th Day’ .  Where we celebrate the fact that it is simply May 25th.

There are so many weird and wonderful World and International Days in the Month of May. We have ‘World Sneakers Day’, ‘International Tea Day ‘,’World Bee Day ‘(Sounds like World Bidet Day but maybe that’s’ just me- mind in the gutter as ever), World Hummus Day’, World Baking Day’, ‘World Goth Day ‘, ‘World Day for Cultural Diversity’ and my favorite ‘World being you Day’.

As most of them passed me by throughout the month I decided to play catch up . I wore my sneakers whilst drinking a cup of tea dressed as a Goth. My Middle Eastern friend came to visit where I offered Hummus, Pitta and Crudites as a snack.  We then had the scones that I had baked with the options of honey or cream.    As we sat there chatting, we exalted in just being us.

It was a lot of pressure to cram so many World Days into one. But I am proud of my efforts. I have always been a crammer and will plan better to celebrate the World Days next Month as they happen as opposed to doing them all at once.

For now, Happy May 25th. I’m off to listen to ‘The Cure’ to become more ‘Goth Like’.

That’s all for now

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Dog Synchronicities

Have you ever heard of the phrase ‘The dogs that poo together, stay together’? No neither have I. Probably because I have just made it up.

Today my two dogs ‘Buzz and Finn’ decided to poo at the same time.  The exact same time.  It was very accommodating of them.  As I was able to maximize my efforts of poo bagging.  Bagging two poos with one bag as opposed to killing two birds with one stone.  Maybe the phrase ‘Bagging two poos with one bag’ could be added to the lexicon?

It is a known fact that people that live together either in relationships or house/flat sharing often develop similar habits even so far as to become biologically synchronized.  I can recall that when I shared a house with some other girls that our periods began to occur on the same days.

This must be what has happened to Buzz and Finn.  Their bowels are in sync with one another.  Finn has always peed in the same spot that Buzz has peed in.

Sometimes his eagerness gets the better of him and his head is under Buzz’s tail end where he gets a little pee sprinkle.  If it happens again-as in the poo synchronicity-, I shall try and get a video as proof of this amazing biological phenomenon. I may even tell National Geographic about it? What do you think?

That’s all for now

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Silly dog breeds Part 2

www.petful.com- The reference re the Neapolitan Mastiff resembling a Salvador painting is from Dave Baker from the above link.  I had to look twice as initially I thought his name was ‘Barker’.  How I nearly laughed when I considered for a millisecond that his name was Barker and he was writing about dogs.

The dog featured is a ‘Xoloitzcuintli’.  Try pronouncing that after a few bevvies. The Xolo, a Mexican hairless breed, is not only funny looking, but it’s also quite rare.  According to Mr. Baker the pronunciation goes something like this “SHO-lo-eats-KWEENT-lee”).

Neapolitan Mastiff – Just love this photo and had to share.







This poor pooch, with is massive wrinkles and sags, looks like something out of a Salvador Dali painting.

Here are some more silly dog breeds for your perusal.

  1. Lambpoo- A lamb crossed with a Poodle


  1. Bedspring- A Bedlington Terrier and Springer Spaniel (True breed)


  1. FoxShit- A Fox Terrier crossed with a Shitzu  ( True breed)


  1. Jacka Bee- Jack Russell Terrier and a Beagle (True breed)


  1. Peeka Poo- A Pekinese and a Poodle (True breed)


  1. Pomsky- A Pomeranian and Siberian Husky- I saw one of these for the first-time last week and they are truly magnificent. Similar to the Papillon but less like a Fox and more like a miniature Husky.


  1. SheepShit – A Sheep Dog crossed with a Shitzu.


  1. Chow Shit- A Chow Chow crossed with a Shitzu. ( Not the name for a bad Chinese restaurant)


  1. Cockpit-Cocker Spaniel and a Pit Bull


That’s all for now

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Silly dog breeds Part 1

Photo is from www.petful.com

The dog featured is a Puli Dog which bizarrely resembles a giant mop.

I was walking Buzz and Finn today and met a few other dog owners that I had not seen before.  As usual I asked them what their dog breed was.  Whether it was a Cockapoo, a Westypoo or a Bichon Frisse.

These breeds seem to be the most popular where I live.  Everyone is very obliging and loves to chat about their dog and what breed it is. There was only one occasion where a man I spoke to was not interested in discussing whatever mix his dog was.  I think he replied’ Oh, I’m not sure he’s just a dog.

I began to think of the type of dog I wanted before I got my 2 Morkie’s.  I desperately wanted a ‘Jackshit’- Jack Russell mixed with a Shitzu. Just because I wanted to be able to say ‘Jackshit’ to people.

I then began to think of some ridiculous names for mixed breed dogs

  1. Alpatzu-An Alpaca crossed with a Shitzu


  1. Unilab – A Unicorn crossed with a lab


  1. Deerbox- A deer crossed with a boxer


  1. Boxset- A boxer crossed with a Setter (True breed)


  1. BullShit- A Bulldog crossed with a Shitzu (My new fav) (True breed)


  1. CockRot- A Cocker Spaniel crossed with a Rottweiler (True breed)


  1. Puking- A Pug crossed with a King Charles Spaniel (True breed)


  1. Shitzpoo- A Shitzu crossed with a poodle (True breed)


That’s all for now

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