Clocks go back

Tonight, the clocks go back and I cannot wait to begin my hibernation good and proper.  Apparently, accidents and thefts are always on the increase when the clocks change due to the confusion it causes and possibly because many people forget.  I love having the extra hour in bed also.

When I mentioned that the clocks were going back to an elderly neighbor who is hard of hearing she said

‘What, the cocks go black?’

She is a bit of a divil and part of me believes that she knew what she was saying but it made me giggle all the same. Having lived in the Middle East for over ten years I always missed the seasons.  I am home now eight years and I believe that I am still in the honeymoon period regarding the weather and the seasons. Autumn is probably my favorite but to be honest I love them all.

There is always talk of not changing the times due to the confusion but it works for me. Bring on the long dark evening when nightfall begins at 16.00.

I am off to make a giant cup of tea and put in my order for two deluxe cuddle packages from both Buzz and Finn.

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

Halloween Key Story

What a day. A weird one indeed. The culmination of synchronicities that began at the beginning of the week.  I was at a meeting and someone dropped their keys in the meeting.  Nothing too odd about that.  On Wednesday the same thing happened in a supermarket and I ran after the person to return their keys to them.  Today I was parking my car to go for a swim when someone getting out of their cars dropped their keys.

I believe in the rule of threes.   In that good things happen in threes and bad things happen in threes. And cats happen in trees but that’s another thing altogether. Apparently, the spiritual meaning of seeing lots of keys is that they can signify freedom and answers to unknown problems.

I also had three black cats pass in front of me. At various times I must add. Otherwise, it would be pure spooky. And finally, I had three different telephone calls interrupted by really weird interference which sounded like the old modems or alien abductions. Not sure which.

So where are my feckin keys? My phone keeps showing me advertisements for locksmiths which are freaking me out. Is the universe having a laugh or something?

I’ve said three prayers to St. Anthony and whilst walking the dogs I was on high alert for a black cat to grant me the luck to find them. Instead, Buzz got out of his new collar and started chasing a black cat. Not sure what it all means but a bit to Halloweeny for my liking.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

STD Bingo

Running on from yesterday’s theme of bingo I was reminded of a story I was told when I was living abroad.   I was studying and one of my fellow students was a clinical teacher for a large airline.  She told us that one day she was giving a class on STDs to new cabin crew recruits. They were all very young, from all over the world and very keen to begin their new exciting career.

She began to go through the various STDs with a key focus on lifestyle and prevention.   She first started with chlamydia.  The first power point slide appeared and she was about to go through it when one of the cabin crew put her hand up. She eagerly announced to the teacher and her fellow classmates ‘Yes, yes I had that one ‘.

My friend then went on to try to discuss Trichomoniasis and the same girl put her hand up eagerly and announced to the rest of the class again ‘Yes, yes I had that one as well ‘.

Perhaps she thought that there was a prize for the person that had the most. My friend thanked the girl again for sharing and then said to the rest of the class that there was no need for anybody else to share.  As far as giving clinical STD induction classes go it was one that she would never forget.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

Zoomophobia

 

Is zoomophobia a word? Maybe not. But lots of people seem to have it. For every person that sees it as a valuable resource there is another person that despises it.  I can understand the love it or hate it viewpoints.  Most of us don’t like looking at ourselves for any length of time in the mirror. Or maybe that’s just me.

Word bingo helps to keep me alert at times. We all have ways of expressing ourselves that are unique to us.   Words or phrases that we use that can sometimes become our signature.  I recognize some people in meetings and I know that they are going to say certain words or a certain phrase. It’s comforting and familiar.  And amusing. As soon as they do I give myself a mental high-five.  Some people have gone so far as to put these words down on a card. When the words come up throughout the course of the meeting and they have a full house they can give themselves an inward ‘Hooray’.

Perhaps whatever it takes to keep ourselves engaged during these times is a worthwhile endeavor.   Keep on zooming.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

 

Date with Borat

With the impending release of the new Borat movie, I was reminded of a blind date I had a number of years ago. Quite a few years ago.  Whatever was going on in my head on the day I decided to meet my date I can only put down to possibly having been abducted by aliens the night before.  At least that’s my excuse and I am sticking to it.

I met him over the phone on a dateline. He was a concert pianist and had played the piano over the phone to me. As he lived in London and I lived in Bristol he agreed to come down on the train and meet me. I was delighted and was looking forward to the date.

When he asked me where we should meet, I suggested the public swimming pool in Bath as we both shared a mutual love of swimming. This was definitely an unprecedented brain fart decision. Don’t get me wrong.  I had (and continue to have) brain farts, but this was on a whole new level.

I arrived at the pool and was doing some lengths whilst keeping an eye out for my date. At the far end of the pool, I noticed a man was getting in. He was wearing lime green minuscule budgie smugglers. As he swam towards me, he reminded me of Mr. Bean. I had told him that I would be wearing a black and white striped bathing suit. He said ‘hello’ and I recognized his voice. This man was my date.

I asked him how the journey was. He explained that the train journey had been arduous to say the least. His man bag had been stolen.  He had to inform the train ticket man. They both checked everywhere on the train and they eventually found some wayward youth who had stolen the man bag.  He was thrilled and the kid was greeted by the police when the train arrived.

He asked me if I would like to go for a meal and I made a snap decision. I said ‘No’.  God forgive me but I lied. I said that I had an urgent appointment that I needed to attend to for work. That I had only received the call whilst I was changing in the changing room.

Whilst apologizing profusely I bade him farewell.  I could handle the Borat lime green budgie smugglers. and him resembling Mr. Bean.  But he lost me at ‘man bag’. It was something that I really could not get my head around.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

Hospital lingo

I was chatting with an old nursing friend yesterday and we were exchanging old nursing stories that we remembered fondly and that made us smile. One of my favorites was when I was a nursing student and an elderly farmer came in for admission.

He was suffering with respiratory symptoms.  I got the requisite sample pot and gave it to him asking for a sputum sample. He went off, came back, and handed it to me. To my surprise he had urinated into it. I got another sample pot and said ‘that’s okay not to worry I just need a sputum sample’. Off he went and when he returned to my amazement, he had pooed into it. I was quite impressed with his dexterity yet perplexed at the confusion.

It was at that very moment I realized that the poor man, like lots of people did not understand the word ‘sputum’ and I mimicked coughing into the container. He went off came back with a big embarrassed smile on his face and handed me the sample pot with the sputum sample in it. It was a salutary lesson in that I never forgot what a different world a hospital can be for most people. How people don’t understand medical terminology and that one of the most important things is to be relatable and understood. I never used the word ‘sputum’ ever again.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

 

 

Time travel machine recall

Warning- Giggle free content

The following content must be read with the knowledge that no giggles shall ensue.

 

 

 

 

 

Apparently, all time travel machines for sale in your local electrical superstore have been re called. The year 2020 is being removed from the algorithm. No shit Sherlock.   It’s been a helluva a year and the vast majority of us have been white knuckling it. If you have discovered the secret to spiritual enlightenment throughout this period you are on Zenax, if not, you are on Xanax.   One of my personal fav memes is that we can come out of this as a ‘Monk, hunk, chunk or drunk’.   As it is a sexist statement, I would like to amend it to ‘Nun, hun, a ton or undone’.

It’s not funny and I am not being glib. But it is polarizing and all that we knew and know is requiring re consideration. I have always been a conspiracy theory fan but in this instance, I subscribe to the belief that we are experiencing a global pandemic. It’s easy to say ‘let kindness prevail’ but sometimes just being there for myself is about all I can muster. I count my blessings every day but I have shitty days too and I am allowing myself to have these also.

That’s all for now.

Mind yourself and be safe

Adele

 

Scottish for a day

 

Last night I was watching one of my favorite comedians ‘Kevin Bridges’ on TV.  He is so talented and began touring at such a young age. So naturally enough, when I woke this morning, I decided to be Scottish for the day. After making my tea and giving a treat to Buzz and Finn I announced ‘Ach aye the noo’.  I had tested my accent with them before and was curious to see if their original response would be repeated. They went crazy. Their tails were wagging so much that they almost created a wind vortex in the kitchen.

I adopt a different accent every now and then just to mix it up for the day and keep myself amused. I am not sure that I have the gumption to announce my new nationality to my neighbors when I am out walking the dogs as I have a sneaking suspicion that they may think that I am a bit crazy. I am. Not even a bit crazy. But a lot crazy.

Concealing the crazy takes a huge amount of effort.  Every now and then I have the confidence to embrace it and when I do it is so liberating. But for the rest of the day, I will maybe just ‘Keep the heid’- as they say in Scotland.  Although I plan on watching ‘Gladiator’ tonight and there is a distinct possibility that tomorrow I may decide to be an ancient roman. Carpe Diem.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

I’m a fairy, my name is Nuff. Fairy Nuff.

I’m a fairy, my name is Nuff. Fairy Nuff (fair enough) is one of my favorite sayings. It’s up there with ‘grand’ in the Irish language. All over the world people believe that the Irish say things like ‘top o’ the mornin’ to you’ and ‘soft day thank god’ when in fact we never do. Those sayings appeared in the movie ‘A Quiet Man’ which is 68 years old. Perhaps we do say ‘Top ‘o the morning to you’ or ‘Soft day thank God’ on occasion in an ironic fashion, at least I do, to take the mickey out of ourselves, which we are very good at doing.

‘Grand’ and ‘I am a fairy, me name is Nuff, Fairy Nuff’ are perfect responses at all times. They perfectly express a neutral state. They say ‘I am not too good and I am not too bad’.   I believe that in being Irish we are the masters of the understatement, it is part of our disarming charm. We give out bangers about our government and how they are ruining the country throughout their management of Covid but if anyone else outside of Ireland says the same, we will defend our country and its lack luster government to the end.   It’s a bit like regular dysfunctional families where slagging one another off is ‘grand’ but if anyone outside of the family tries to do it woe betide to them.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

It’s a dogs life

What a beautiful day it was today.  I had one of those carefree days when everything that could have been right was right with the world despite the current lockdown. So much so that when I brought Buzz and Finn for a walk this morning, I decided to let them off their leads as the park was empty.

It is always a very considered decision as I know I am playing poo roulette with myself as the possibility of Finn requiring a bath after some messy play is dreaded and real.  Finn has a penchant for rolling in it and also eating it.  If he finds particular leavings of another dog to be decidedly odorous and piquant this merits him rolling in it frenetically for least 5 minutes. I have watched him do the sniff, drop and roll on one leavings for at least 20 times.  It is a veritable poo frenzy for him.

I lost the poo roulette game.  Back at home I geared up to bathe Finn as the smell had my eyes watering and it felt like some of my nasal cilia had been singed. Even Buzz is dodging him and he is not averse to joyously sniffing the stuff although thankfully he does draw the line at eating and rolling in it.

Finn is unsurprisingly reluctant to enter the bathroom and pulls at the lead.

I say to him ‘You can’t have your poo and eat it too’. When I smiled realizing he did and he has.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele