A Poem about Poetry

a poem about poetry

a poem is a portrait of the soul

it is incomplete and whole

vulnerable and bold

it can antagonise and cajole

aimless or towards a goal

meaningless yet foretold

cozy, warm or cold

it can shun my inner tension

and alleviate a disquieting sensation

it can relativise a situation

as a soother for my soul, did I mention

my inner child complex relation

the menacing inner spirit that seeks degradation

quelling ascension, reaping descension

a poem is an empty page

to store the rage

escape from the cage

from self-recrimination and blame

the soul to tame

in life’s wicked game

my poetry means

everything and

nothing

yet, it makes my soul sing

to fly on a wing – spread arms

of hope and serenity

a reconciliation with my

alacrity

impurity

purity

temerity

transparency

duplicity

fragility

vitality

vulgarity

humility

anxiety

serenity

a poem is love exploration

a vindication of my flaws

my ability to pause

reflect, detect a detestation

a conflation of love and hate

which my words will dissipate

fusing my mind and my heart

in words that are

magnificent

munificent

incandescent

reminiscent

pearlescent

acquiescent

evanescent

revivascent

indecent

concupiscent

detumescent

uncomplacent

omnificent

consent

Yet

Always

Always

Always

PRESENT

By

Adele Leahy

Doggy Text Codes Part Two

The doggy text codes roll continues. I will now stand away from the doggy text codes.

 

NCGGI – New cats gonna get it

PMGGI – Postman gonna get it

ADGGI – Amazon driver gonna get it

DDGGI – DPD driver gonna get it

ISD- I smell Deliveroo

NABR- Need a belly rub

NABRS – Need a belly rub stat

FFE- Friends fur ever

PFP- Pause for paws

BLYMI- Bark like you mean it

SMB-Sniff my butt

DMBDD- Doing my best downward dog

NTDD- Need to duvet dive

HHFSM – Hooman has farted save me

RIP- Rolled in poo

RIPAM – Rolled in poo and mingin

RIPNAS- Rolled in poo need a shower

HMNJ- Hate my new jumper

HMNR-Hate my new raincoat

FR- Feeling ruff

BMF- Be my furriend

 

Stay fab

Adele

Doggy Text Codes Part One

I am on a roll here, what with the doggy poetry and now the doggy texting. I came across some Doggy Texts on TikTok and it made me smile. This would be if dogs were able to use mobile phones and text each other. But, you already had it worked out. Apols.

And of course, I had to make up some of my own. Maybe too many. Perhaps I got a bit carried away.

Bite me.

 

HOP- Hooman on phone

HFF – Hooman forgot food

HFFA – Hooman forgot food AGAIN

HIFU – Hooman is feckin useless

LOSDT – Lots of security detail today

NCEFSD – Not compensated enough for security detail

OTSFH – On toilet supervision for hooman

HASE – Have a scratchy ear

HASA – Have a scratchy arse

NECT – Not enough cuddles today

NEFT – Not enough food today

NETT – Not enough treats today

TAST – Treats are substandard today

NAW – Need a walk

NAWS – Need a walk STAT

IFTND – I fancy the neighbour’s dog

SSTE – Stellar sniffs this evening

FAFS – Found a fab stick

IBOFS – Imperial burial of fab stick

NDIT – New dog in town

NCIT – New cat in town

NSIP – New sniffs in park

 

Stay fab

Adele

New Year. New Me. NOT.

A Tighter Vagina?

How I laughed when I saw this photo. Apparently, tighter twats are all the rage. The derogatory statements such as bucket fanny or, throwing sausages up O’Connell Street abound and are perpetuated by men.

Although, I am a huge fan of Viz magazine and The Fat Slags are very funny. One of them once said that her one-night stand was so skinny she would have to nail a plank across his backside to stop him from falling in. Bold, brassy and bawdy has always been my sense of humour and I cannot do anything about it now.

I have yet to see a poster with a photo of a man looking for greater girth or length.

When they do get around to it, maybe the tagline could be

  • Need a thicker prick?
  • Need a longer dick?
  • Need a thicker and longer prick?

Although ads for Viagra are very popular in the US. I think I have seen one over here in Ireland.

I’m off to get a tighter twat.

Maybe they can make me a handbag out of the left over skin. A twat bag?

Stay fab

Adele

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