Poem- I Google therefore I am


I performed this poem for the first time last month and I received some lovely compliments. I hope you enjoy it too.





I Google therefore I am


I Google therefore I am.

But I am not a yam.

I am a peach.

But I digest.

I mean I digress,

My head today Is a floofy mess.


Back to googling

And doodling

And daydreaming

And playful scheming.

Do trees have feelings?

And is the world drowning?

How do I create a


In the style of River Dance?

And is lingo

Also, parlance?

Can an elephant paint?

And in getting his paw nails cut

Why did the dog faint?

A giant panda

Chewing a carrot

Or a piece of juicy bamboo

Always elevates me

From feeling blue.

And then I’m back to the worry

As my mind is in a hurry.

And why are Orca’s attacking boats?

And is Yoga any good with baby goats?

Is Zenitis a thing or is it just me?

I just cannot meditate or achieve serenity.

I need Yeats and peace comes dropping slow.

And Maya and Still I rise to get me back in the flow.

This morning my weighing scale was mean.

My two dogs dislike my mood machine.

I hate Yoyo dieting: the string gets caught in my teeth.

Am I an alcoholic if I only binge to get release?

Do Doggiegasms exist?

This morning my dog could not desist

From rolling in poo, and doing it again and again.

His ecstatic, relentless joy. Oh, my dear best furry friend.


I Google therefore I am

But I am not a yam

I am a peach

But I digest

I mean I digress

My head today Is a floofy mess


Am I a narcissist or an empath?

Am I a narcissist for thinking I am an empath?

How old is Cher and why should I care?

She doesn’t need to turn back time

As she lives her life with such flair.

How can I publish my romantic comedy?

And why don’t agents get back to me?

Am I normal or am I mad?

Are antidepressants really that bad?

Does a Smurf artist have a blue period

When they can no longer paint?

Am I the Captain of my Soul

And the Master of my fate?

How do I spell Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?

Can a cheese and apricot jam sandwich really be delicious?

Is there a Wizard of Oz and do they live in Sydney?

How do Robins sing so beautifully?

Is it true that camels get Botox?

And if it doesn’t work do they get the hump?

Is focaccia an Italian curse?

And how do I cease this scrolling slump?

Is Fairy Liquid made from the souls of fairies when they die?

How did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland and make them cry?

Are ye alright there in the back lads?

How to pronounce Tonight Tits or Tinnitas?

Is Arseritis when couch surfing causes stiff legs and ass?

Is the Mariana trench 7 miles deep?

Can I massage a shark’s throat to put it to sleep?

Was Dr. Seuss a Greek God?

On walking today shall I amble, saunter or plod?

Do sloths have a tail and can dolphins really heal?

What colour is my aura and are my chakras real

I can get a walk in.

It is not too late.

I need to see the last

Of today’s light.

To marvel at the sun and

Wish it a good night.

To have sky for eyes.

And marvel at the trees.

Maybe I should stop googling

And be in nature.

My true nature

Is to be in nature.

I Google therefore I am

But I am not a yam

I am a peach

But I digest

I mean I digress

My head today Is a floofy mess



Adele Leahy