My Blog

I had to be course and basic to celebrate my 500^th blog, and Biden’s Fart, did the job. My favourite poem has always been Kim Kardashian’s Arse which is why it seemed appropriate to write a poem in honour of Biden’s unapologetic flatulence. The salute after he farts will always make me smile.

The irony of Trump, trumping his was through his court proceedings was not lost on anyone. Saturday Night Live and Graham Norton can’t get enough of Trump as he is pure comedy gold. Here are the funniest stories. My all-time favourite has to be Trump’s commencement speech which was identical to Elle’s graduation speech from Legally Blonde. Reese Witherspoon is so humble when Graham brings it up and the reaction of Harrison Ford is pure class. You have to see it to believe it.

The Charlie Sheen Cuff Link story is priceless too.

The Funniest Donald Trump Stories On The Graham Norton Show | Part One

 

https://youtu.be/uOBF9qPto4c?si=g1B_X5AyItG4VL0w

Final Debate Cold Open – SNL

 

https://youtu.be/ozGr4IsTUng?si=wh9DXx2JfKYq2kBB

Best of Blogs Quarter Two 2024

 

1. April

https://adeleleahy.ie/april-fools-day-2024april-fools-day-2024/

 

2. May

https://adeleleahy.ie/500th-blog-and-bidens-fart/

 

3. May

https://adeleleahy.ie/stand-up-vs-therapy-part-one-of-two/

 

https://adeleleahy.ie/stand-up-vs-therapy-part-two-of-two-2/

 

4. June

https://adeleleahy.ie/anxious-comedy-relief/

 

5. June

https://adeleleahy.ie/how-to-avoid-charity-workers/

 

6. June

https://adeleleahy.ie/harry-enfield-i-saw-you-coming/

 

7. June

https://adeleleahy.ie/glastonbury-memories-2002/

 

8. July

https://adeleleahy.ie/ibiza-trip/

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

 

And here they are. My favourite blogs from the first quarter of this year. I always love looking back and reading them as I can remember feck all. If I smile, it is all the better. Writing new poetry is always enjoyable and I am pleased to say that – I Google Therefore I Am, always goes down well when I perform it.

One of my goals at the beginning of the year was to begin to perform Stand up Comedy and I am glad to say I have done this.

As my teacher in National School said on my report when I was Eight years old – When she is good, she is very very good and vice versa. In other words, I can do a good set and the next time I can bomb and forget my lines.

1. Jan

https://adeleleahy.ie/happy-new-years-day-2024happy-new-years-day-2024/#

 

2. Jan

https://adeleleahy.ie/best-blogs-of-2023-last-quarter/

 

 

3. Feb

https://adeleleahy.ie/poem-i-google-therefore-i-am/

 

4. Feb

https://adeleleahy.ie/poem-my-name-is-not-audrey/

 

5. Feb

https://adeleleahy.ie/doris-the-sleepy-cow/

 

6. Feb/March

https://adeleleahy.ie/happy-international-monday-and-other-silly-days-part-one-of-three/

https://adeleleahy.ie/happy-international-monday-and-other-silly-days-part-two-of-three/

https://adeleleahy.ie/happy-international-monday-and-other-silly-days-part-three-of-three/

 

7. March

https://adeleleahy.ie/stand-up-comedy-ikea/

 

8. March

https://adeleleahy.ie/happy-early-easter-2024/

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

 

1. Not say hello to the bees, busy on the lavender plants while I walk Buzz & Finn. IMPOSSIBLE.
2. Be sullen and ungrateful for the day. Impossible. Although, I have my moments. I am not perfect but sometimes I am so close I can almost taste it.
3. Stop saying – This Too Shall Pass, is a great motto for anyone suffering from constipation. Impossible. It makes me smile.
4. Not write, in chalk on my local park path – Free swallow aerial display at 4 pm today. Impossible. It is such a spectacular display. The – Slow Down, Snails of Waterside crossing chalk path message, was a success.
5. Not submit my three children’s books and the Triple D Comedy script. I have to extract the proverbial digit. Impossible. I have to do it.
6. Perfect my Yodelling and Dolphin impersonation. Impossible. They are already perfect.

Which rabbit hole shall I go down today?

1. Watch The Monty Python Silly Olympics clip on YouTube in preparation for the real Olympics next month?
2. Google all the Irish Athletes that are competing. We have many hopefuls in swimming, boxing, rowing, track and gymnastics.
3. Pretend that the Aldi Trolley Dash- when they open a new till- is an actual Olympic event .

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

 

This will always be one of my favourite blogs as I adore Alice in Wonderland. I regularly find myself going down a rabbit hole, predominantly of the Google kind. So, here are parts three of four.

What rabbit hole will you be going down today? Keep it clean please……

1. Leap out of bed with Joie de Vivre and Gusto. Impossible. Josi de Vivre and Gusto vehemently refused to get out of bed.
2. To become vegetarian. Impossible. Even with the shite weather, it’s still BBQ season.
3. Train Buzz and Finn to be less adorable. Impossible. They are ridiculously cute.
4. Not get excited about performing at Electric Picnic in Mindfield next Month, as organised by the virtuoso, David Hynes. Impossible.
5. Not get excited about performing my first Stand Up Comedy gig at The Ha’penny Bar Comedy Club in August. Impossible.
6. Not to have the song, I like the way you kiss me, by Artemis, as an earworm in my head all day.

The Google rabbit and wormholes that I see myself going down today are most likely the following

1. How to put together a trampette. It is a small trampoline and I have made three attempts so far, hopefully, this will be my final one.
2. How to make oyster shell necklaces.
3. How to find a real rabbit hole.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

I am over the moon as I came first in the final heat of The Fingal Poetry Festival. This means that I am entered into the festival final on September 13^th. Last year I was in the final and it was such an incredible night. Gerard Devine won and could not have been a more worthy recipient. Watching Gerry perform his spoken word was like witnessing a mini play in the Gate Theatre.

He is a formidable man, at over 6ft 4 inches, a firefighter, and whilst on stage he wore a costume and brandished a huge rock and hammer to illustrate his poem.

I performed- I Google Therefore I am. It is a whimsical poem I read at The Sceal Sessions Balbriggan Open Mic in February. It took some time to memorize the poem, but I managed to perform it without fluffing my lines. I have to use word association, imagining silly images and recording myself, so that I can listen to it when I am driving as otherwise, I will forget.

Sheila Ryder produced another magnificent evening and Geoff the Poet (featured poet) was mind-blowing, as always. Stephen The Writer also performed. It was lovely to see him, and he gave me the opportunity to perform at Electric Picnic last year.

This year I am a performer and will have access to the performer’s area. I cannot wait.

Laterz

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

A friend has returned from her holiday in Ibiza and I was reminded of my trip there some years ago. It is such a beautiful island and a friend and I were booked to see Tinie Tempah at The Hard Rock Hotel. Off we trotted and as we were heading down a very busy street lined with bars, we were accosted by a young guy asking us to drink in his bar. We were in our early forties and we guessed he was feeling sorry for the two aul ones.

We tried to get away but he was persistent.   Eventually, he asked us

-Cock, or balls?

-What, we both bellowed

-Cock or balls?

To which he then proceeded to unzip himself and take out his cock and balls to show them off to us.

We couldn’t stop laughing and needless to say we sat down for a drink.

I don’t believe I will ever be invited to take a drink in anyone’s bar in the same manner, during my lifetime. Unless, perhaps, I am attending a BDSM-themed bar.

Any time I see Tinie Tempah now I am reminded of the experience.

Another place we visited was The Lio. https://www.liogroup.com/ibiza/the-experience

It was not as risqué as it is now. The food, cabaret and entertainment were awesome. At the time I had never experienced a theatrical dining experience quite like it. Nowadays it may be deemed a Burlesque Show. Maybe Mr. Cock and Balls is the new manager?

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

The White Stripes, Glastonbury 2002

https://youtu.be/9ccSr53-64U?si=UErI2VB0Sxegaevf

 

Where do I start? I have so many memories and over the years I have a blog about Glastonbury as I see it as one of my spiritual homes. In 2002 when I saw the beautiful multi-coloured flags and went to the Pyramid Stage I was converted and vowed to keep visiting Glastonbury (whenever I was lucky enough to get tickets) until I am 80 years old.

The White Stripes blew me away. It was hard to believe they could deliver such sound and energy with only a drummer and a vocalist. Jack White (vocalist) and Meg White (percussion) were undoubtedly among the best bands I have seen in over 20 years. When they hit the big time, they swore they were siblings but in 2001 it was revealed they had been married and subsequently divorced.

The Stereophonics from Wales were awesome too.  I got to chase a giant beach ball (it must have been about 12 feet high) around the Kidz Field. The Giant Mad Max and Kangaroos on stilts in the Circus Field were a magical sight to behold and watching the sunset at The Stones on Friday night was a perfect end to a perfect first day of Glastonbury.

The new 5-mile perimeter fence was installed that year and 140,000 music and arts revellers enjoyed the fantastic weather. Tickets went on sale in February and sold out after a few weeks. Whereas now they sell out in 10-15 minutes with between 4 and 5 million people worldwide looking for tickets.

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Recently Harry Enfield’s sketches have come up on my socials and I am now a huge fan.

The Dragon’s Den and I Saw You Coming are giggle-worthy. I love markets, the friendliness and community aspect as well as the crafts and homemade food. Occasionally there will be a stallholder who believes they should be selling their goods in Knightsbridge as these are the type of prices they charge.

I have come across this type of market seller on more than a few occasions. They appear to immediately profile you and decide what you can afford.

Harry Enfield I Saw You Coming

https://youtu.be/8AGSMJojAM4?si=aLyMq8vQpi7svy7E

Haggling is something I always enjoy but nowadays it is unheard of in most markets. I learnt my haggling craft when I visited the Souks in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia in 1992. The haggling scene in The Life of Brian movie was not far from reality.

Monty Python. Life of Brian – The Haggle

https://youtu.be/3n3LL338aGA?si=HSY2BLIkmmaRx2kn

 

Harry and Paul Dragon’s Den

https://youtu.be/ZiJa9diJOMk?si=34TabWgTIrl-pfv5

https://youtu.be/Uf4gdQqGLvE?si=LT38qfrBRAIMygin

 

The Dragon’s Den parody replicates the supercilious nature of most of the judges on any of the reality TV shows. When Paul Whitecross crosses his eyes at the end of The Alan Sugar Parody it cracks me up.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Sean Lock on How to Avoid Charity Workers.

This is Sean at his best. Although to be honest, he was always at his best.

 

https://youtu.be/CCYzdDXPoH0?si=mpAferh4WIWqmRti

 

When he said- Spina Bifida and breadcrumbs I lost it. And I like the nimble dance he employs to try to dodge an overzealous worker.

Charity workers are doing their best but there are so many of them, that it has become a charity onslaught. We also have a history in this country of mismanaging charity funds.

My chosen charities would be The Peter McVerry Trust, Simon Community and Focus Ireland as they support and care for the homeless. I have also written a few poems about the homeless.

But it’s The Donkey Sanctuary that gets me. It is so random. What’s next, Save The Beaver?

However, that could also be linked to a well-known X-rated site.

Last weekend I was cold-called by two well-dressed women in their mid-seventies who were asking if I would like to be a Mormon. I would give anything to know their success rate. What is the chance that somebody will answer their door and say- Crikey, I thought you would never call. This is just what I need. Becoming a Mormon will solve everything.

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

When my beloved aunt was ill, I often offered her help as I knew healthcare professionals who could ease her pain. She refused my help every time. My anxiety continued to escalate as I found it difficult to witness her being in pain. One evening I went home and watched Catherine Tate’s Nan. It offered me the giggle therapy I needed. After that whenever I visited my aunt, I imagined her as Catherine Tate’s Nan, and me as a niece. This offered me great relief from her anxiety as well as my own.

The 40-45 video of Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse never ceases to crack me up. Whenever anyone mentions either number I attempt to stifle a smile.

Harry and Paul – 40…45 years

https://youtu.be/O9IJnmbneLc?si=SRUJL11GNXTPba8t

And finally, the power of Panda Therapy cannot be ignored. I get immense relief from melancholy when I witness baby or giant pandas tumbling around or chewing bamboo and carrots. ASMR or Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response is the latest craze for stress relief as hearing certain sounds can reduce our stress response. This genius put the two together, giant pandas being cute and eating crunchy crunchy vegetables. You are welcome.

ASMR Panda Eating Carrots Compilation

 

https://youtu.be/Aa8eKJDkX54?si=h6WVcbDxVMtp2mnd

If a panda does not work to relieve your stress how about a turtle chewing a strawberry?

ASMR  🍓 Turtle eating strawberry

 

https://youtu.be/8UATu8cjYxA?si=tQqvw-qg544GmE09

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele