Poem- Mosquito Mind

Warning – Suicidal ideation trigger.

The following poem was accepted for performance at the Leinster heat of the All-Ireland Poetry Slam at Sin E on Ormond Quay.

It was written during a period in my life when I was very low. At the time, writing this poem was a valuable cathartic experience for me.


Mosquito mind

I question, am I the only one?

With an unkind mosquito mind.

My mental health is a sham.

As I abhor who I am.

My pseudo happiness, pretending I am blessed.

Embalming my soul in binging alcohol.

Over-pleasing beyond reason.

You must love me, as I do not.

My blindness to my innate goodness is unsustainable.

I need to begin to feel well.

I have had a trillion thoughts.

Too many, where sanity was sought.

Is this the thought to undo my existence?

Am I not worth more than this moment spent?

Considering self-annihilation.

Lacking self-compassion and patience.

I deserve my life, the joy and the strife.

I can overcome my mind squall.

By seeking help and challenging it all.

I am better than this; can I give myself a soul kiss?

I have too much to give, but I have to forgive

Myself and my fragility, times when it is so hard being me.

I will try to transmute my pain into peace

To sit with my emotions, surrender and release.


Adele Leahy