Tara Tree excerpt – Vegetable chats

Here is my third excerpt from my debut Romcom novel- Tara Tree, for your perusal. I hope you enjoy reading it.


I have no appetite, but I know I must eat something with the tablets. A lonesome lettuce is staring back at me when I open the fridge. Checking the back of the fridge reveals that, thankfully, there is no black mould. Leaving vegetables to go off in the fridge is a dreadful habit, but with all my flaws, this is merely the tip of the iceberg.

It makes sense to chuck them out when they are past their sell-by-date, but somehow, I like to imagine myself as someone who will actually eat the lettuce and enjoy it. I am still waiting for that day. I decide to talk to the lettuce. To ask it not to go off. Apparently, this is the thing to do nowadays. If we can talk to our plants to get them to grow, why can’t we talk to our vegetables in the fridge to stop them from going off?

Just as I am placing it back in the fridge, I notice a big black rotting spot at the back of the lettuce and decide to bin it. I could cut out the rotten bit and wrap it in wet paper towels so that it will last even longer, but as I have the flu, the chances of me consuming lettuce over the next week are slim. Just like I want to be. Not the obvious lettuce dodger that I am. I put my cuddly weight gain over the last year down to the Internet cookies. They are delicious. That’s my excuse, and I am sticking to it.


All the best

Stay fab