The Perils of Swimming

Thank goodness I have never encountered what the swimmer in the photo is swimming through. Although, honestly, sewage is not always visible, as we well know.

There have been many perils that I have experienced over the years. Forgetting my pants, and my bra went missing once. I found it a month later in the pocket of the director’s chair I had used. On several occasions, I have skipped back to my car with the NKD attitude, aka, no knickers Dryrobe. Other perils include jellyfish and witnessing low-flying testicles whilst a heavily endowed overzealous man was drying his bits.

I like to think I am Ursula Andress from the famous Bond film when I exit the sea, but the reality is more Melissa McCarthy on a bad day. My exit is often twinned with me trying to fix a rather troublesome wedgie. I have swum into a few people when I was not paying enough attention. However, this is a natural enough occurrence as where I swim has three buoys measuring a kilometre swim out at sea for swimmers doing triathlon training.

Sex noises as somebody takes a dip must be the worst. A few middle-aged men do this as they look around, hoping for a reaction. It always makes me smile and cringe in equal measures.

All the best

Stay fab