Date with Borat

With the impending release of the new Borat movie, I was reminded of a blind date I had a number of years ago. Quite a few years ago.  Whatever was going on in my head on the day I decided to meet my date I can only put down to possibly having been abducted by aliens the night before.  At least that’s my excuse and I am sticking to it.

I met him over the phone on a dateline. He was a concert pianist and had played the piano over the phone to me. As he lived in London and I lived in Bristol he agreed to come down on the train and meet me. I was delighted and was looking forward to the date.

When he asked me where we should meet, I suggested the public swimming pool in Bath as we both shared a mutual love of swimming. This was definitely an unprecedented brain fart decision. Don’t get me wrong.  I had (and continue to have) brain farts, but this was on a whole new level.

I arrived at the pool and was doing some lengths whilst keeping an eye out for my date. At the far end of the pool, I noticed a man was getting in. He was wearing lime green minuscule budgie smugglers. As he swam towards me, he reminded me of Mr. Bean. I had told him that I would be wearing a black and white striped bathing suit. He said ‘hello’ and I recognized his voice. This man was my date.

I asked him how the journey was. He explained that the train journey had been arduous to say the least. His man bag had been stolen.  He had to inform the train ticket man. They both checked everywhere on the train and they eventually found some wayward youth who had stolen the man bag.  He was thrilled and the kid was greeted by the police when the train arrived.

He asked me if I would like to go for a meal and I made a snap decision. I said ‘No’.  God forgive me but I lied. I said that I had an urgent appointment that I needed to attend to for work. That I had only received the call whilst I was changing in the changing room.

Whilst apologizing profusely I bade him farewell.  I could handle the Borat lime green budgie smugglers. and him resembling Mr. Bean.  But he lost me at ‘man bag’. It was something that I really could not get my head around.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.