My Blog

Ikea or Ikant

Here is some of the material I will be performing.

Over the weekend I went to Ikea for some things. I prepared with a compass and some string to find my way out. In the bedding section, I found a little old lady who looked perplexed. She asked me what year it was. I said it is 2024 and I then asked her age. She said she was 84 but had come into Ikea when she was 74 and hadn’t left as she was lost.

Three meerkats beside her had popped in for a small writing table and were lost too. Where meerkats normally have their hands in front, palms down, on this occasion they were palms up in dismay at having no notion of where to go.

I also spotted a couple of backpackers walking around aimlessly. One of them asked me for the way out. I asked him what he was looking for in Ikea. He said the Far East was too expensive to go backpacking to find himself and how many backpackers were now using Ikea as a way of finding themselves. As he claimed, if you could find your way out of Ikea, you could do anything. He had a point.

If anyone would like to adopt a little old lady or a Meerkat please get in touch.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Happy International Monday and other Silly Days Part Three (of Three) CONTD

14. International Radiohead Day. Well, they are the best band on the planet.

Here is the Paranoid Android video. When it was released, it was compared to Bohemian Rhapsody. Although in fairness, no matter how much I love Radiohead, nothing can be compared to Bohemian Rhapsody.

https://youtu.be/fHiGbolFFGw?si=9Ovi4HcZuINIbez_

15. International Laughter Day. Of all the days this really should be a day where we seek out our favourite comedians and YouTube/ TikTok Clips that make us laugh.

Here are a few of mine. I have featured many over the years of my favourite comedians such as Catherine Tate, Comic Relief, Only Fools and Horses, and feck it, here are Monty Python again. I just seem to be unable to pass up an opportunity for a Python giggle. They are the Kings of silliness.

Catherine Tate’s Funniest Sketches

https://youtu.be/5yQfnW1GzNs?si=UqJNVYA-vcD4jXDX

 

Little Britain meets Elton JohnComic Relief

https://youtu.be/x0zUOzkHwAE?si=ERJNG3UWERl-QS2Q

 

Only Fools and Horses Uncle Albert’s horrified

 

https://youtu.be/Rehz6pLM71Q?si=l9VOSPhbezrDTkYO

 

Top 10 Funniest Monty Python Sketches, scenes and songs

 

https://youtu.be/E1bLjShvZjs?si=RZpXLIetEZbFTeEw

 

16. International not being cross day. Maybe this could be an option? Where we try not to be cross and instead be nice to each other? Just a thought.

 

17. International Farting Day. Of course, I had to end it all on a crass note. But then, it’s what I do. If we had such a day the sale of beans and carrots would go through the roof. Although some might say this day already exists and is called Christmas Day. When we overindulge and parp to Kingdom come.

The Irish Sun did an article on farts and medical health. I have to admit it did make me smile. This is where the picture came from.

https://www.thesun.ie/health/11724210/most-common-types-of-fart-when-to-see-doctor/

I’m off to have some beans and Brussels sprouts.

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Happy International Monday and other Silly Days Part Two (of Three) CONTD

 

8. International Talk like Shakespeare Day. I love this even though I am not a big Shakespeare fan. I did King Lear and The Merchant of Venice in school which I enjoyed. Forsooth my visage is perplexed.
9. International Silly Walking Day (Yes, it’s made up but surely Monty Python should be celebrated and revered each year).
10. International Muppet Day (Again, made up, but as long as Trump is around, he does qualify as a living muppet. ) I adore the Muppets as they have featured in many of my blogs. I just need any excuse to mention them and look up the Mna, Mna video. It never fails to make me smile. So here goes-

 

https://youtu.be/zb47CstE7R4?si=0lIeFdkJ424VnorN

11. International Cillian Murphy Day – Well, he is fab and he did just win an Oscar for Best Actor in Oppenheimer.
12. International St. Patrick’s Day where the whole world celebrates the patron Saint of a small green country in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean named Ireland. Oh, I forgot, this already happens
13. International Jungle Book Day – My favourite Disney Movie. Why Not? Here is the Bare Necessities.

https://youtu.be/6BH-Rxd-NBo?si=fLmXbIW1CvwIOdSz

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

You may be glad to hear I am now stepping away from the poems. I tend to get on a roll with them. It’s like Tourette’s, where I just cannot help myself but without the cursing. However, given half a chance I can be as blue as the best of them.

So Happy International Monday. Isn’t it great that we can celebrate the fact that today is Monday across the world. And yes, I am being facetious as I do think that there are some ridiculous International Days celebrated. Here are some of my all-time favourites

 

1. International Nose Picking Day. Snot what you might think……
2. International talk like a pirate day. My personal fav. Although most Irish people talk like pirates in that we cannot pronounce the letter ‘R,’ without saying ‘Arrrrr,’ whereas the British say ‘Ore.’
3. International Orgasm Day. (Ok, I made that one up.)
4. Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day. Now, where was I? 1903 or 1803?
5. National Nothing Day was proposed in 1972 by columnist Harold Pullman Coffin and observed in the United States annually on January 16 since 1973. I like that it is both obtuse and existentialist.
6. Internation Breathe Day (Yup, another one that I made up).
7. International Toilet Day (I am on another roll here, it seems- another makey up)

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Doris the Sleepy Cow

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeUPXFqF/

 

I love the cow in this video. She has no shame about not being in the humour to be milked. I can relate, not to not being milked but to not being arsed at times to do what I am supposed to do.

I make no apologies whatsoever for the dreadful puns. I figure because I wove them into a poem I can be excused. It’s a moooot point….Sorry, not sorry.

 

 

Sleepy Cow

What a cow! She has it sussed.

Faking being asleep to avoid being milked.

She is udderly preposterous

But there was CCTV, she didn’t realise she was being filmed.

The farmer had deja moo.

He had seen it before.

He knew it to be true.

That she found being milked a bore.

He said it’s pasture time for milking.

And the Cow was not amoosed.

With her big eyes blinking

It went in one ear and out the udder, and she went for another snooze.

By

Adele Leahy

I am on a roll with writing silly poems. The bit about my therapist falling asleep and then calling me Audrey is true. As she was examining the inside of her eyelids I had to ask her if she was ok. I don’t think I am over it…….

 

Poem

 

My name is not Audrey

 

 

As a sea swimmer

I like to think I’m wild.

But those days are over

And now I am mild.

As I dive with glee into the sea

But my name is not Audrey.

How do you know a sea swimmer?

They will always tell you.

And wax lyrical about being cold and blue.

My name is Adele with one L and two E’s

And my name is not Audrey.

I don’t drink anymore

And it gets on people’s nerves.

They assume I am boring.

That I’ve lost my Vim and Verve.

That perhaps I can’t be happy

If my name is not Audrey.

The only pissed I get now is with my therapist

When she highlights my defects.

Which I can’t be fecked to address.

She fell asleep once and then called me Audrey.

I marvelled at her lack of tact and memory.

I am annoying.

My sense of humour

Is crass, and tawdry.

And my name is not Audrey.

I am imperfectly perfect.

Or so the affirmations proclaim.

But to be honest I can’t be fecked

Today with trying to filter my brain.

I woke up in shite form.

And the day has got steadily worse.

My dogs barked at everyone.

And my head is fit to burst.

The garbage bag then burst open.

And the seagulls circled me.

One pooped on my head.

And made me want to scream.

So I need to see my therapist

To deescalate my zenitis.

Maybe she will remember me

And recall that my name is not Audrey.

By

Adele Leahy

 

I performed this poem for the first time last month and I received some lovely compliments. I hope you enjoy it too.

 

 

Poem

 

I Google therefore I am

 

I Google therefore I am.

But I am not a yam.

I am a peach.

But I digest.

I mean I digress,

My head today Is a floofy mess.

 

Back to googling

And doodling

And daydreaming

And playful scheming.

And some more daydreaming.

How do I create a

Flashmob

In the style of River Dance?

And how can I remove the freckles from my hands?

A giant panda

Chewing a carrot

Or a piece of juicy bamboo

Always elevates me

From feeling blue.

And then I’m back to the worry

As my mind is in a hurry.

And why are Orca’s attacking boats?

And is Yoga any good with baby goats?

Is Zenitis a thing or is it just me?

I just cannot meditate or achieve serenity.

I need Yeats and peace comes dropping slow.

And Maya and Still I rise to get me back in the flow.

This morning my weighing scale was mean.

My two dogs dislike my mood machine.

I hate Yoyo dieting: the string gets caught in my teeth.

I’m a devil for comfort eating ( nom, nom, nom), just to get release.

Do Doggiegasms exist?

This morning my dog could not desist

From rolling in poo, and doing it again and again.

His ecstatic, relentless joy. Oh, my dear best furry friend.

 

I Google therefore I am

But I am not a yam

I am a peach

But I digest

I mean I digress

My head today Is a floofy mess

 

Am I a narcissist or an empath?

Am I a narcissist for thinking I am an empath?

How old is Cher and why should I care?

She doesn’t need to turn back time

As she lives her life with such flair.

How can I publish my romantic comedy?

And why don’t agents get back to me?

Does a Smurf artist have a blue period

When they can no longer paint?

Am I the Captain of my Soul

And the Master of my fate?

How do I spell Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?

Can a cheese and apricot jam sandwich really be delicious?

Is there a Wizard of Oz and do they live in Sydney?

How do Robins sing so beautifully?

Is it true that camels get Botox?

And if it doesn’t work do they get the hump?

Is focaccia an Italian curse?

And how do I cease this scrolling slump?

Is Fairy Liquid made from the souls of fairies when they die?

How can I perfect my yodelling, Yodel aye he hoo. Although It’s pretty good I can’t deny.

Do sloths have a tail and can dolphins really heal?

What colour is my aura and are my chakras real

I can get a walk in.

It is not too late.

I need to see the last

Of today’s light.

To marvel at the sun and

Wish it a good night.

To have sky for eyes.

And marvel at the trees.

Maybe I should stop googling

And be in nature.

My true nature

Is to be in nature.

I Google therefore I am

But I am not a yam

I am a peach

But I digest

I mean I digress

My head today Is a floofy mess

 

By

Adele Leahy

The following are some of my favourite Disney-obsessed celebrities.

Lively is very vocal about her desire to participate in a Disney movie. Back in March 2018, she documented one of her visits to Disneyland on Instagram posing alongside all the Disney princesses.

She captioned the picture, “@Disneyland this is my official submission. Will work for minimum wage. Happy to be the Beast. Your move …” She added on another photo “@Disneyland can I please move in? Thanks.”

Ryan Gosling has been described as “a Disney freak” by Oscar-winning director Guillermo del Toro.

 

And let’s not forget the other fabulous Mouseketeers, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.

Milo Ventimiglia rocked a Mickey Mouse shirt when he appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” to talk about his love for Disney.

Ariana Grande celebrated her 21st birthday at Disney World.

Pete Wentz named his son Bronx Mowgli after the main character of “The Jungle Book.”

https://i.insider.com/5aa9351df375f62b008b45d7?width=700&format=jpeg&auto=webp

Ginnifer Goodwin herself confessed that she’s gone to Disneyland “probably a bit more than is healthy.”

Rachel Bilson loves “Sleeping Beauty” so much she named her daughter Briar Rose, an alias used by Princess Aurora in the film.

Jason Bateman dreamed of starring in a Disney film for years, and he finally got his wish when he was chosen to play fox Nick Wilde in “Zootopia.”

This has to be the funniest Disney scene of all time.

The Sloth DMV Scene from Zootopia

https://youtu.be/HHKwnUa3txo?feature=shared

Preview YouTube video The Jungle Book. I wanna be like you. King Louis

The Jungle Book. I wanna be like you. King Louis

Preview YouTube video The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996) Scene: “Out There”/Quasimodo’s Song.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996) Scene: “Out There”/Quasimodo’s Song.

Preview YouTube video The Little Mermaid – Under the Sea (from The Little Mermaid) (Official Video)

The Little Mermaid – Under the Sea (from The Little Mermaid) (Official Video)

Preview YouTube video Zootopia: Meet the Sloth. HD ( DMV Scene)

Zootopia: Meet the Sloth. HD ( DMV Scene)

Walt Disney was famously fired from a newspaper for not being creative enough. I make no apologies for attempting to justify my Disney obsession by featuring celebrities who are just as bad as me.

Disney created magic. The stuff of dreams, where anything and everything was and is possible. Bringing some of our favourite stories to life. Forever reminding us of what is good in life and to shun what is bad. The battle of good versus evil features in every Disney Movie.

I am off to watch the Jungle Book. Again.

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

Continued

8. Curious Disney Facts:

Bruce, the ‘vegetarian’ great white shark of Finding Nemo, was named after the mechanical shark used in Jaws. And who knew that several families have asked to scatter a loved one’s ashes into the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland.

 

9. Disney World Size: The Disney World resort is about the same size as San Francisco. And can you believe It would take 68 years to sleep in every single room at Disney World.

 

10. Disney Anecdotes:

‘Man is in the forest’ was a code used by animators to warn colleagues to get back to work when Walt Disney was coming down the hallway.

Disney played homage to Steve Jobs by flyiing its flags at half-mast on the day the Apple co-founder died.

 

11. Animation Facts:

Mickey Mouse was the first animated character to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame which is probably my favourite Disney fact.

Mickey was also the first animated character to talk which is fitting for a mouse of his magnifecence.

 

12. Disneyland Oddities:

Disneyland is home to numerous feral cats. I wonder why Pogo sticks are forbidden at Disneyland?

 

13. Disneyland Tidbits:

Who do you think was Walt Disney’s personal favourite character?  Well, none other than tie-wearing dog Goofy.

On a trip to Disneyland Paris, George Lucas decided to film the Star Wars attraction during a ride.

 

14. Animated Films:

– The following fact blows my mind. Just the talent and creativity that was in that room at the time. The ideas for Wall-E, Monsters Inc, A Bug’s Life, and Finding Nemo came from a single lunchtime brainstorming session.

– Though commonly referred to as seven ‘dwarves’, the film’s actual title is Snow White and the Seven ‘Dwarfs’.

 

15. Creative Process:

– To capture the movement of Aladdin’s low-cut baggy pants, animator Glen Keane watched M.C. Hammer videos.

– The Beast from Beauty and the Beast was created using inspiration from different animals. What animals were used do you think?

 

16. Disney Theme Park Facts:

– The Matterhorn rollercoaster at Disneyland has a secret basketball court inside for Disneyland staff to use.

– When the Pirates of the Caribbean ride opened in 1967, the only fake skeletons available to Disneyland designers were rather naff, so they used real skeletons. Euuughhhhhhh……

 

17. Disney Princesses and Siblings:

– Ariel was the only Disney princess to have siblings until Brave.

– The rest of the Disney princesses are all only children.

 

18. Disney Animation Fun Facts:

– Disney recycled much of its early animation in a technique called rotoscoping to cut costs.

– This is really very clever. Why re invent the wheel when you have all the footage? Large parts of the 1973 film Robin Hood were taken from Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs, The Jungle Book, and The Aristocats.

 

The Little Mermaid and The Hunchback of Notre Dame come second and third as my Disney movies.  I was given the three gargoyle cuddly toys as a gift and I adored them. The horse in The Hunchback is called Achilles and when given the order – Achilles heel, it always makes me smile. Demi Moore plays the beautiful Jasmine in the movie.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

https://youtu.be/jdIP2xmDqx0?si=DDHQTeSXoVo5_8na

Under the Sea from The Little Mermaid

https://youtu.be/GC_mV1IpjWA?feature=shared

 

I don’t believe there has been a bad Disney Movie. Some, of course, are better than others, but they never fail to deliver a magical experience.

FROZEN is the most popular Disney movie of all time.

Unsurprisingly, Frozen was found to be the favorite Disney movie worldwide, with an annual 1.9 million Google searches.

https://i.insider.com/5cbe0c48d4ca470c885690b2?width=700&format=jpeg&auto=webp

Hi Ho Hi Ho

It’s off to bed I go….

Adele

 

It is no secret that I am obsessed with Disney and I could not sleep if I did not blog about Disney being 100 years old.

This great anniversary deserves celebrating, and because I went down the rabbit hole whilst doing my research, I have devoted three blogs to the great man, Mr. Disney himself and fellow celebrity-obsessed fans.  My greatest childhood memories include watching Disney Movies, either in an open-air cinema in Kano (Jungle Book), Nigeria, aged eight or in the cinema in Dublin.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJKCUrvv/

Fascinating Facts and Trivia About Disney and Disneyland

1. Walt Disney’s French Roots:

– Walt Disney’s original moniker was d’Isigny, showing his French roots.

– The name ‘d’Isignyland’ was considered for his animations set in Paris.

 

2. Famous Character Connections:

– Wall-E was named after Walter Elias Disney.

3. Model Inspirations for Disney Characters:

– Ariel and Belle’s proportions were based on real-life model Sherri Stoner, also a writer and producer for animations.

– Several characters like Goofy, Mickey, and Donald Duck are hidden in the background of newer Disney films.

 

4. Disney’s Innovations:

– Disney held the patent for Technicolor, making him the only animator allowed to make colour films.

– Disneyland, California, was built in the 1950s, and Walt Disney built an apartment for his family above the ‘Fire Department’ on Main Street.

 

5. Theme Park Facts:

– The theme parks use a patented ‘Smellitzer’ device designed to pump certain scents around.

– The architecture at Disneyland uses ‘forced perspective’ to create taller appearances.

 

6. Exclusive Club and Secrets:

– The exclusive Club 33, hidden above the Blue Bayou in New Orleans Square, has a strict membership of 487 with a waiting list of around 14 years.

Located in the Magic Kingdom in Florida, Disneyland in California, Disney Sea in Japan, and Shanghai Disneyland in China, the club is affiliated with Disney Park, although it is not actually owned by Disney. The club’s name refers to the exclusive membership that comes with its private dining rooms, parking, and other privileges, including access to special events, such as the annual Park Hopper pass. The membership to join the club is limited, and there are often long waiting lists for those seeking admission.

– Cinderella’s castle in Florida includes a swish 650ft apartment that is difficult to access.

 

7. Notable Voice Actors:

– Steve Martin used to work in the magic shop at Disneyland.

– Clarence Nash, the voice of Donald Duck, created the dog barks for 101 Dalmatians.

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele