This is a pervading and persistent affliction previously coined by the Viz Profanisaurus. Arse-ritis has now reared its ugly head again during Covid lockdown.  The condition is identified by stiffness of limbs due to not being arsed to do an awful lot.

Sufferers also complain of procrastination and frustration. Frustration is primarily aimed at Netflix due to the lack of entertainment on offer, particularly when every single item has been watched by the sufferer (and critiqued on IMDB).

Regular exercise and a reduction in complex carbohydrates have been shown to diminish the symptoms somewhat. Severe hand cramp related to excessive remote-control usage can almost disappear.

Emergency departments around the country have also seen a marked increase in patients presenting with finger-itis. Some patients have required surgical removal from their mobile phones and speech therapy to allow them to learn to speak to another human face to face.

The minister for health has been contacted regarding issuing a statement but it appears now that he may also be showing symptoms of this cruel condition as he is unavailable to comment.

The department of health have also been contacted regarding launching an awareness campaign but sadly they too have been affected by this condition.    All we can do now is pray for a cure.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.



( Ref VIZ ‘ Profanisaurus War and Piss)