Category: Uncategorized

Sean Lock on Climate Change – The first eight minutes are not climate-related but are still hilarious.

https://youtu.be/yQhqlWDf7K4?si=HWL82E9uPeDgAG25

 

Earth Day 2024 is here! That special day when we all pause to appreciate our home planet and pretend we’re going to change our ways for more than 24 hours. It’s the eco-friendly equivalent of New Year’s resolutions, complete with grand promises and the inevitable return to bad habits as soon as the clock strikes midnight. But this year, Earth Day has a fresh twist: it’s all about eco-memes. That’s right, we’re saving the planet one laugh at a time. Because if laughter is the best medicine, maybe it can heal our ailing planet too.

In the spirit of 2024, Earth Day activities have gone digital and delightfully ridiculous. Schools are abuzz with kids showing off their recycling skills like they’re auditioning for an eco-friendly version of “America’s Got Talent.” The latest craze? Competitive composting. Little Timmy from down the street just turned banana peels into compost gold and has the TikTok followers to prove it. Plastic straws are so 2023. Now it’s all about reusable straws that double as fashion accessories. Who knew you could save the planet and look fabulous doing it?

Of course, adults are getting in on the fun too. This year’s Earth Day has more green-themed events than you can shake a sustainably sourced stick at. Local coffee shops are introducing a “Treepresso”—for every cup you buy, they plant a tree. Sure, it costs an extra dollar, but think of the Instagram likes. Plus, it’s a great conversation starter. “Oh, this latte? It’s saving the rainforest, one frothy sip at a time.”

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

 

 

Another friend told me of when a Nursing Sister screamed at her ‘Nurse, you are a disgrace to the profession, how can you come to the ward without your fob watch.’ She was told to leave the ward, in front of the Surgical team. She still has PTSD from it to this day.

But my all-time favourite story is from a Galway Nurse working in Beaumont Neuro Intensive Care. She had worked in the unit for three years and everyone loved her as she was a brilliant nurse and great craic.

It was her last day as she worked her months’ notice and planned to travel to Asia and Australia for a year. Two neurosurgeons (who were good friends) were at the end of a patient’s bed and they were arguing throughout treatment. One surgeon was the patient’s Doctor and the other Surgeon was visiting the patient in the next bed. They had just begun chatting when one asked the other, out of curiosity, for their opinion. It was a friendly chat and the nurse said, ‘Why don’t ye both just unzip your trousers, pop your lads up on the bed table and we’ll sort this out for once and for all.’ They both laughed at her audacity and carried on with their rounds. It was such an outrageous comment to make to two neurosurgeons that I can never forget it as it always makes me smile.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Lately, I have been speaking with some nursing friends who have told me their tales of bullying. Bullying in Nursing is a theme in my debut Romantic Comedy as it is something I am quite passionate about. I thought it no longer took place but I was informed that it is as rife today as it was for me, thirty years ago.

My favourite story is when I was working in a certain Intensive Care and was bullied as I had used a downward arrow for blood pressure recording when an upward arrow ( for a particular neurosurgeon) was required. It was Christmas Day, and we were ( as usual) understaffed and unable to take breaks as some of the patients were agitated, trying to get out of bed and unplug a ventilator of the patient beside them. I was crying as the Senior Nurse Manager shouted at me. She said – You are one useless Nurse. Surely you know that Mr.X insists his blood pressure arrows are the opposite of how we normally record them? Can you do anything right?

Two decades later I am at lunch with another Clinical Nurse Manager in a Nursing Home where I was the Assistant Director of Nursing. Bullying in Healthcare was the topic for discussion and I told her my story. She asked me what the Manager looked like. I told her. She mentioned a name. I said, ‘Yes, that, was her, how do you know?’

And she said, ‘ She is my sister, and she is a bitch.’ How we both chuckled.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Where do I even begin? At this rate, I know you will not believe a thing I write as often its veracity is questionable, particularly on April Fool’s Day.

So, let’s play a game. Two truths and one lie. Can you guess which is which?

1. I have three kidneys.
2. I am clairvoyant.
3. I have a divining rod for making decisions.

If you get it right you will win some fresh air for your lungs via a very deep breath intake. I can guarantee it will be extremely refreshing and you will also have the added factor of feeling smug.

I am a divil for a practical joke. When the movie Sixth Sense came out, I opened all the cupboards in my kitchen before it was over to try and prank my friend. But she could tell by the glint in my eye that I was up to no good. Whilst nursing on nights in Intensive Care in the Neuro Richmond Unit at Beaumont Hospital many moons ago I cut up suppositories with a scalpel and tried to pass them off as mints. But I got found out pretty sharpish. They were very long nights at times.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

I am not a massive fan of Easter but I did give up eating trees for Lent. Getting splinters in my gums was dreadfully painful. It had become an awful habit and one that I am glad to say I think I have overcome. However, I am now (BPA- Bad Pun Alert) branching out into other questionable activities. You may say I am (BPA) barking mad, and you would be right. If I can get to the (BPA) root of the issue maybe it (BPA) woodn’t be such an issue. I shall endeavour to (BPA) Spruce up my act Fir my own good.

My latest bad habit is doing squats as I wait for my change when I am paying for something. I do get some funny looks but I ignore them as I know I am building up my squads, or is it quads? When I was filling my car with petrol yesterday, I screamed and said – I won, when the car was filled with petrol. Again, I got some funny looks, but I felt the need to celebrate the activity of filling my car (Who, btw, is called Lolita) and create positivity for the gratitude of being able to drive, have a car, and get petrol.

Maybe I should not give up anything for Lent next year.

Happy (early) Easter 2024

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Ikea or Ikant

Here is some of the material I will be performing.

Over the weekend I went to Ikea for some things. I prepared with a compass and some string to find my way out. In the bedding section, I found a little old lady who looked perplexed. She asked me what year it was. I said it is 2024 and I then asked her age. She said she was 84 but had come into Ikea when she was 74 and hadn’t left as she was lost.

Three meerkats beside her had popped in for a small writing table and were lost too. Where meerkats normally have their hands in front, palms down, on this occasion they were palms up in dismay at having no notion of where to go.

I also spotted a couple of backpackers walking around aimlessly. One of them asked me for the way out. I asked him what he was looking for in Ikea. He said the Far East was too expensive to go backpacking to find himself and how many backpackers were now using Ikea as a way of finding themselves. As he claimed, if you could find your way out of Ikea, you could do anything. He had a point.

If anyone would like to adopt a little old lady or a Meerkat please get in touch.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Happy International Monday and other Silly Days Part Three (of Three) CONTD

14. International Radiohead Day. Well, they are the best band on the planet.

Here is the Paranoid Android video. When it was released, it was compared to Bohemian Rhapsody. Although in fairness, no matter how much I love Radiohead, nothing can be compared to Bohemian Rhapsody.

https://youtu.be/fHiGbolFFGw?si=9Ovi4HcZuINIbez_

15. International Laughter Day. Of all the days this really should be a day where we seek out our favourite comedians and YouTube/ TikTok Clips that make us laugh.

Here are a few of mine. I have featured many over the years of my favourite comedians such as Catherine Tate, Comic Relief, Only Fools and Horses, and feck it, here are Monty Python again. I just seem to be unable to pass up an opportunity for a Python giggle. They are the Kings of silliness.

Catherine Tate’s Funniest Sketches

https://youtu.be/5yQfnW1GzNs?si=UqJNVYA-vcD4jXDX

 

Little Britain meets Elton JohnComic Relief

https://youtu.be/x0zUOzkHwAE?si=ERJNG3UWERl-QS2Q

 

Only Fools and Horses Uncle Albert’s horrified

 

https://youtu.be/Rehz6pLM71Q?si=l9VOSPhbezrDTkYO

 

Top 10 Funniest Monty Python Sketches, scenes and songs

 

https://youtu.be/E1bLjShvZjs?si=RZpXLIetEZbFTeEw

 

16. International not being cross day. Maybe this could be an option? Where we try not to be cross and instead be nice to each other? Just a thought.

 

17. International Farting Day. Of course, I had to end it all on a crass note. But then, it’s what I do. If we had such a day the sale of beans and carrots would go through the roof. Although some might say this day already exists and is called Christmas Day. When we overindulge and parp to Kingdom come.

The Irish Sun did an article on farts and medical health. I have to admit it did make me smile. This is where the picture came from.

https://www.thesun.ie/health/11724210/most-common-types-of-fart-when-to-see-doctor/

I’m off to have some beans and Brussels sprouts.

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Happy International Monday and other Silly Days Part Two (of Three) CONTD

 

8. International Talk like Shakespeare Day. I love this even though I am not a big Shakespeare fan. I did King Lear and The Merchant of Venice in school which I enjoyed. Forsooth my visage is perplexed.
9. International Silly Walking Day (Yes, it’s made up but surely Monty Python should be celebrated and revered each year).
10. International Muppet Day (Again, made up, but as long as Trump is around, he does qualify as a living muppet. ) I adore the Muppets as they have featured in many of my blogs. I just need any excuse to mention them and look up the Mna, Mna video. It never fails to make me smile. So here goes-

 

https://youtu.be/zb47CstE7R4?si=0lIeFdkJ424VnorN

11. International Cillian Murphy Day – Well, he is fab and he did just win an Oscar for Best Actor in Oppenheimer.
12. International St. Patrick’s Day where the whole world celebrates the patron Saint of a small green country in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean named Ireland. Oh, I forgot, this already happens
13. International Jungle Book Day – My favourite Disney Movie. Why Not? Here is the Bare Necessities.

https://youtu.be/6BH-Rxd-NBo?si=fLmXbIW1CvwIOdSz

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

You may be glad to hear I am now stepping away from the poems. I tend to get on a roll with them. It’s like Tourette’s, where I just cannot help myself but without the cursing. However, given half a chance I can be as blue as the best of them.

So Happy International Monday. Isn’t it great that we can celebrate the fact that today is Monday across the world. And yes, I am being facetious as I do think that there are some ridiculous International Days celebrated. Here are some of my all-time favourites

 

1. International Nose Picking Day. Snot what you might think……
2. International talk like a pirate day. My personal fav. Although most Irish people talk like pirates in that we cannot pronounce the letter ‘R,’ without saying ‘Arrrrr,’ whereas the British say ‘Ore.’
3. International Orgasm Day. (Ok, I made that one up.)
4. Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day. Now, where was I? 1903 or 1803?
5. National Nothing Day was proposed in 1972 by columnist Harold Pullman Coffin and observed in the United States annually on January 16 since 1973. I like that it is both obtuse and existentialist.
6. Internation Breathe Day (Yup, another one that I made up).
7. International Toilet Day (I am on another roll here, it seems- another makey up)

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Doris the Sleepy Cow

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeUPXFqF/

 

I love the cow in this video. She has no shame about not being in the humour to be milked. I can relate, not to not being milked but to not being arsed at times to do what I am supposed to do.

I make no apologies whatsoever for the dreadful puns. I figure because I wove them into a poem I can be excused. It’s a moooot point….Sorry, not sorry.

 

 

Sleepy Cow

What a cow! She has it sussed.

Faking being asleep to avoid being milked.

She is udderly preposterous

But there was CCTV, she didn’t realise she was being filmed.

The farmer had deja moo.

He had seen it before.

He knew it to be true.

That she found being milked a bore.

He said it’s pasture time for milking.

And the Cow was not amoosed.

With her big eyes blinking

It went in one ear and out the udder, and she went for another snooze.

By

Adele Leahy