Man marries his dog- Pawt three -of three

The following is written from the perspective of the man who married his dog

( See May 2nd and 9th blogs) and is a purely fictional account of the event.

Can you count all the puns?

I was a bit husky and melon collie following a big nite out and lab dance. Doesn’t really mutter. But being hungover I em-barked upon my idea to marry my dog. Many people poo pood the idea. They said it was lunacy and impawsible. In life I take the woof with the smooth and rarely unleash my crazy side but as I love my dog so much, I felt it was my life’s pawpose to marry him.

Some said to call the Dogtor. Conventional dog-ma does not concern me. I didn’t care. Before I asked for Honey’s paw in marriage I thought – Howl I ever live without you?

Gladly Honey said ‘yes’ and gave me a’ Honey facial special’ in thanks. Next, I called all my friends. Some were surprised. One said he thought I was having him on and I said

‘I shih-tzu not!

My friends, the ‘pawty people’ were all delighted to attend the wedding.

Our first dance was our favourite ‘ Don’t collie me maybe ‘ by Carly Rae Jepson.

Other hits that were played included the most obvious floor filler

-Who. let the dogs out, followed by

-The Beagles-Set list

-Don’t stop retrieving

-Pink Floyd- Bark side of the moon

-Elvis-You ain’t nothing but a pound dog

-I like big mutts and I cannot lie

-Puptown girl

-The Border Collie ( The Borders by Sam Fender)


After the wedding we watched Jurassic Bark, Marley and me and Mary Puppins. We had plenty of Pawsecco and Pupcorn.


All the best

Stay Fab