The following is written from the perspective of the man who married his dog
( See May 2nd and 9th blogs) and is a purely fictional account of the event.
Can you count all the puns?
I was a bit husky and melon collie following a big nite out and lab dance. Doesn’t really mutter. But being hungover I em-barked upon my idea to marry my dog. Many people poo pood the idea. They said it was lunacy and impawsible. In life I take the woof with the smooth and rarely unleash my crazy side but as I love my dog so much, I felt it was my life’s pawpose to marry him.
Some said to call the Dogtor. Conventional dog-ma does not concern me. I didn’t care. Before I asked for Honey’s paw in marriage I thought – Howl I ever live without you?
Gladly Honey said ‘yes’ and gave me a’ Honey facial special’ in thanks. Next, I called all my friends. Some were surprised. One said he thought I was having him on and I said
‘I shih-tzu not!
My friends, the ‘pawty people’ were all delighted to attend the wedding.
Our first dance was our favourite ‘ Don’t collie me maybe ‘ by Carly Rae Jepson.
Other hits that were played included the most obvious floor filler
-Who. let the dogs out, followed by
-The Beagles-Set list
-Don’t stop retrieving
-Pink Floyd- Bark side of the moon
-Elvis-You ain’t nothing but a pound dog
-I like big mutts and I cannot lie
-The Border Collie ( The Borders by Sam Fender)
After the wedding we watched Jurassic Bark, Marley and me and Mary Puppins. We had plenty of Pawsecco and Pupcorn.
All the best