My Blog

Halloween

Tonight, the spirits come alive,

And the ghouls begin to thrive.

The zombies roam with zeal.

As children and adults scream.

A knock on your bedroom door,

A monster desperate for gore

And then another, this time a thud

A vampire to suck your blood

Will your soul go to a ghoul?

Will you become vicious and cruel?

Will you relish in the gore?

The horror and the folklore?

As your blood curdles.

Your Spirit unfurls

A werewolf will tear you apart.

And cease your beating heart.

A fog will envelop your mind.

What you then see, you will wish you were blind.

The Mummies come undone.

As every possible victim runs.

The Grim Reaper is on a mission.

As you have lacked contrition.

Witches fly around on brooms.

Lock your bedroom door soon.

There may be a monster beneath your bed.

Or a man under his arm, carrying his head.

Frankenstein will fill you with fear.

A safe haven will never be near.

Behave and beware.

They are out to get you.

They do not care.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

1. http://adeleleahy.ie/acts-of-mindfulness-part-two/ More really crap mindfulness jokes. Truly woeful.

 

2. http://adeleleahy.ie/inspirational-retreats-part-one/ More muppets. Dressing up as one on mushrooms, Anyone?

 

3. http://adeleleahy.ie/baldoyle-pub-creche-1996/

 

1. 4. http://adeleleahy.ie/the-rock-and-kevin-hart/

 

1. 5. http://adeleleahy.ie/robin-williams-rubbing-the-meat/. What can I say? Besides The Muppets, Catherine Tate, Monty Python, Kevin Bridges. and Jimmy Carr, I am a sucker for Robin Williams. One of my earlier blogs featured Robin on Sesame Street. When I found the YouTube video clip, I was elated. He does feature quite a lot. And do I feel bad? Yes, I do. But hey, I’m now over it. He was the greatest comic genius of our time.

 

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

1.http://adeleleahy.ie/sneezy-seal-day-and-viz/ – Johnny Farty Pants and the art of farting.

2. Strewth – http://adeleleahy.ie/one-of-those-days/ Murphy’s Law. Think of a really bad day. Multiply it by thirty-three and a third, divide by twenty-four and a half, and then you may have an idea of how bad my day really was.

3. http://adeleleahy.ie/the-perils-of-swimming/ – The underwear thief, wedgies, low-flying testicles and sex noises. And we won’t even mention sewage, condoms, peeing in the sea or genital warts. Actually, we won’t mention genital warts at all, as they have nothing whatsoever to do with this post.

4. http://adeleleahy.ie/acts-of-mindfulness-part-one/ and really cringe mindfulness jokes. Once upon a time, we used to go for walks, maybe have a paddle and daydream.

I recall getting the bus into town and gazing out the window. Wondering about other people at bus stops, looking at people in parks, and wondering about the people inside the houses we were driving past. What they were doing, how they were feeling. I was not mentally glued to a mobile phone. Maybe that is why mindfulness is now embedded into our consciousness. To counteract the perils of mobile phone usage? And now we have renamed it mindfulness. And, of course, the perfect irony is that the word belies the action. In that, we are freeing of mind of being full.

 

5. http://adeleleahy.ie/doggy-vision/

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

The Horse Fair was mighty this year. I always love it as I have such special memories from when I did my nurse training in Ballinasloe, Portiuncula Hospital. Besides being the oldest Horse Fair in Europe and where Napoleon is believed to have bought some of his horses, it is also a Mecca for the traveller community.

One year, when I was nursing, we had two warring traveller families on two different wards. One had stabbed another for snogging his wife. The two families were the Wards and the McDonaghs, and the Gardai had to stand outside on each ward to ensure no further disagreements.

This year, I got to help with the phenomenal Dog Show. There were possibly one hundred entries with many beautiful dogs. The excitable owners were desperate for a trophy/rosette, and children showed their pooches with great delight.

My favourite was a giant black Russian terrier. I pointed him out to the judge in the ring on my right, and he said it was the worst specimen he had ever seen. My judge gave it first prize. Both are well-known European Dog Show judges. It just goes to show there is no accounting for taste. A magnificent Afghan Hound won first prize. There were twenty-five competitions in total, from best in a variety of breed classes, to most obedient, judges’ personal favourite, best fancy dress, and best tricks. A ten-year-old girl won four prizes. She and her two dogs were incredible, and she behaved like a grown adult who had been showing dogs her whole life.

I met the infamous Axe lady and was blessed by a gypsy. And they are two wonderful stories for another day.

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Here are my favourite blogs from the first quarter of 2023

1. http://adeleleahy.ie/poem-doggy-rock/ – A poem about dog bands. E.g. Furreigner, Muttley Crew and the Velvet Undergrowl, to name but a few. Ruff, Ruff.
2. http://adeleleahy.ie/therapy-faux-pas/ When therapists get it wrong. Well, they are human, too, and we all make mistakes.
3. http://adeleleahy.ie/world-yoga-day/ – Paws and effect. Doggy yoga. Guess where the downward dog comes from. Hint: it’s not a cat.
4. http://adeleleahy.ie/silly-tuesday/ Any excuse to be silly. The man in the petrol station did not appreciate being asked if he could sell me two squirrels. He told me that only two badgers, a shrew, and a robin, were left for sale.
5. http://adeleleahy.ie/camel-botox/ Who knew that camels get Botox? And cows get fillers into their udders to help suckle. Oh, and some horses have had buttock implants to make them go faster, but it is illegal. Finally, certain breeds of sheep have been injected with hyaluronic acid to make their wool softer than Cashmere and Angora.

I jest in number 5. But you already knew that. Which of the sentences is true? But when you think of it. Who knew that massaging cows would result in Wagyu beef being the best beef on the planet? Maybe they could do with a bit of counselling, too?

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJx47prE/

More Muppets? More Animal? I hear you say.

Well, what can I say? I adore the Muppets. Always have. Always will. And I can relate to Animal as he represents the nutty part of my character. Grover and The Count are my other two favourites.

When I was younger, one of my favourite things was to headbang to the songs Black Betty and Don’t Fear The Ripper. And I must admit I was very good at it. I even taught my sister how to do it in Lahinch, County Clare. Such a legacy to be able to pass on………The nightclub where I taught her was above a pub below. I will never forget that the floor was bowed due to the amount of drink spilt on it over the years.

The skill was in leg position and even weight distribution; otherwise, I would have fallen over. I got such a buzz from it.

Nowadays, I get my buzz from my lovely two dogs. One is called Buzz, and the other is Finn.

I met someone yesterday who told me about this video with Elton John on Sesame Street singing Crocodile Rock. At a town meeting, I jokingly remarked how he and his sidekick reminded me of Stanton and Wardour from The Muppets. They always sat together and laughed at the same things. It is hard to believe that this video is 51 years old and Elton is still on tour. What a legend.

https://youtu.be/Dsh30mSPhq4?si=nXoD1MpqlAZkbyFg

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

I had to wait a while to post about Sinead’s passing, as I miss her terribly. Troy and Just Like You Said It Would Be are the songs I  sing in the shower. I know all the lyrics and am woeful at singing them. My two dogs dive beneath the duvet to avoid having to listen to me.

Troy

https://youtu.be/0c4v7fp5GC8?si=M-yIYUOE_VXfq4ft

Just Like You Said It Would Be

https://youtu.be/_UpJBdXrYjo?si=N7tOpnAM9fiE1vJa

 

Last weekend, a few friends and I were trying to get into a late bar for a boogie. I started singing,’ It’s been seven hours and fifteen days since I‘ve been in this feckin queue.’ I told the bouncer I would not shut up singing until he let us in. All my efforts failed miserably, and we scuttled off with our tails between our legs. A few youngsters were behind us, and I told them that they had to sing a Sinead ‘O Connor song to get in, which made them smile.

To say Sinead was a trailblazer is an understatement. She called out the Catholic Church on Saturday Night Live by ripping up a picture of the Pope and proclaiming, ‘Fight the real enemy.’ Having watched the documentary about her life, what struck me the most was her unique worldview. She was essentially sent to a hospice occasionally for the women of the Magdalene Laundry as punishment from her school, as it was next door. And she was often in trouble. She stayed up talking to some of them and heard their stories. No one else would have been in possession of the information that she gleaned about the Catholic Church from those poor women.

I know that she is happy in heaven with her son and loved ones.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

https://youtu.be/eZW5j_dW6QM?si=PL2MkQecBe8hTa8u

 

How lucky is Martha Stewart to have Robin Williams in her kitchen? They were the days when double entendres were not part of the cookery landscape. With The Great British Bake Off, they are now an everyday occurrence for a giggle.

Knock Knock – Cumin.

And all his humour is ridiculously clever. He really was such a genius. I have done a few blogs on him but cannot help it. I miss him and am a huge fan.

This is my favorite clip with Joanna Lumley and David Walliams. Warning – Extremely woeful Double Entendres

https://youtu.be/p31fr_ipPOw?si=DVto9RAXUu30x9kc

 

Viz Magazine has had a character for over thirty years called Finbar Saunders and his Double Entendres, which always cracks me up.

Finbar’s Mum states, ‘ I like nothing more than a nice hot pink one inside me first thing in the morning,’ referring to how she loves a cooked sausage with a cooked breakfast. His response is always,’ Fnarr, fnarr,’ which I always use when I hear a witty smutty remark/double entendre. Having a filthy sense of humour is an affliction that I am very proud of.

It does get me into trouble sometimes, such as when a fun evening consisted of asking everyone’s porn names. We were a healthcare committee group with a few visiting Professors. As you may know, the porn name game involves taking the name of your first pet and then your mother’s maiden name. Mine would be Pepi Leahy. Instead, I announced to the 20-strong table,’ Bang me Hard.’ Cue much mirth and giggles. Nobody could believe me, and they were right, too.

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

It is called Electric Picnic for a reason, epic and electric. I get that the majority of people do not find traipsing around a field for three days to be their idea of fun. Or performing ablutions in dodgy toilets, but for 70, 000 people it is an annual experience not to be missed. And I am one of them. My friend bought our tickets for 2024 the week before we went to the festival as we got a loyalty and early bird discount. This was my sixth year to attend. Even when the weather is dodge, it is still good, and thankfully, the weather was fab this year.

So, I will not bore you with who was great and the ridiculous and eccentric sights that I was treated to every day. Pleeeease do, I hear you holler…… Well, The King Kong Company, a group of lads from Waterford, were my highlights, along with Billy Eilish. Billy was sick with the flu and still sounded great. Dare I say it, but The King Kong Company are better than the Chemical Brothers. There. I said it. Tom Odell was fab; he was so excited he stood on his piano. Lyra and Women in Harmony were extra special, and beautiful tributes were sung in memory of Sinead ‘O Connor. And Imelda May performed her poetry beautifully.

Trench Town, The Trailer Park and Brewtopolis (The rave tent) were some of my fav areas. Each year they seem to add to it. Next year Electric Picnic will be twenty years old. It really is hard to believe.

Last year it took us two hours to find our tent. This year it took us two hours to find our car at the end of the festival. What gobshites? We decided not to take a photo of the car park sign as we were so close to the entrance. Oh, and we nearly burnt the tent down, but besides that, it really was off the scale, fab.

 

Oh, and I got to perform my poetry thanks to The Dublin Writer Stephen Smith, and Charlotte Black, Move with Charlotte. Thank you both so much. It was a dream come true.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

God, I love this man. Michael ‘O Leary runs the greatest airline in the world and is unapologetically notorious for his marketing and sales strategies. In this clip, he is interviewed on the Late Late Show and proposes the following.

 

1. Add more seats by removing the toilets.
2. Have a standing cabin for domestic flights where a standing fare is £1 and seated is £25. This would be for fares between Ireland and the UK.
3. Is the customer always right? His answer is No; the customer is nearly always wrong.

He continued to elucidate the primary complaints they received. The first is about non-refundable tickets – What part of non-refundable do you not understand? He does have a point. And the bugle that plays when a flight is on time. I agree with this one, as it is very annoying.

As a child, I remember passengers clapping when the plane landed, and I loved it.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJx5GpRA/

 

What’s next, special flights for heavy people, no baggage flights? Pilot free flights, well, we are heading towards driverless cars. Would you get on a plane without a pilot?

I am off to see if I can buy a jet pack online. I read the Ryanair book when I was studying for my Masters. My brother advised, following his Masters, that it was the greatest business book ever written. And he was right.

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele