This guy cracks me up. Without saying a word his sarcasm is real.
Life hacks gone wrong
https://youtu.be/4_q4FVkwZYk
I can only surmise that the video was made during lockdown when time was not really of the essence as we all seemed to have so much of it on our hands. As they say Necessity is the mother of all invention. And I must admit that I was close to uploading a video of my very own life hack but then decided against it as I realized how unflattering it would be.
Basically, it allows you to carry more than two things from the kitchen to your living room without the use of the tray at breakfast time. The trick is to create a pouch in your pajamas.
Stay with me on this. You take the top of your PJ’s and tuck them into the bottom. You then lift up the hem of the top of your PJ’s and bring it over the bottom of your PJ’s thus creating a pouch. I have used it to bring a piece of fruit whilst carrying my bowl of porridge. What do you think? You heard it here first.
The final weird event was the culmination of all three. I have always believed that things happen to me in threes. Both good and bad. And this was no exception. This time I was visiting a friend’s house that I have visited many times before.
All was well, we were chatting away and having a nice cuppa. Buzz and Finn were in full WWCF-World wrestling canine federation- mode. Which seems to be a rather entertaining performance that they put on for special guests.
About thirty minutes elapsed when I needed to use the loo. As I walked into my friend’s bathroom her glass shower screen-attached to a bath- came crashing down. I had not touched it as I walked in.
It all happened in slow motion and I was waiting to see it shatter into a million pieces into the bath. A bit like my nerves which were shattered as was my friends. Thankfully it did not break.
I told my friend about the previous two weird incidents with things falling and how using sage to clear homes of unsettled spirits was a recommended practice. She told me that she did not have any and attempted to put my mind at rest by saying that the shower screen must have had a screw loose.
I said that it must be a coincidence as I had a screw loose myself. My suggestion of travelling with a priest when visiting people was discussed which she wholeheartedly agreed with.
My next weird event occurred when I visited a friend’s house- for the first time- in Wicklow. We had worked together and had not seen one another for 2 years. I was excited to meet her, see her lovely home and meet her gorgeous dog.
I was greeted with a very welcome big hug. Buzz and Finn bonded immediately with ‘Jess’ her beautiful black Labrador. As I walked into the hallway a carbon monoxide alarm that was stuck to the ceiling came crashing down. Both of us-as well as the dogs- got an awful shock.
I felt that it was time to confess to my friend about the flower basket falling whilst I was walking Buzz and Finn. The subject of using ‘sage’ to cleanse a house of unsettled spirits came up came up and I asked her if she had any. To my relief she told me that she had.
We had a giggle over the fact that I was not the ideal house guest. I could imagine myself being in her position .Any guest arriving, that would cause things to break which would then require a mini exorcism of a home is not the best.
Perhaps commissioning a priest to travel with me for when I visit people’s homes would be an option? I jest. But if you have any similar weird stories please share.
GFA-Giggle free alert. The following blog contains no text that may lend itself to possible giggles.
I have to write about three different incidents that have occurred over the last few months that have unsettled me. Each blog will detail each incident and I would love to hear if you have had any such unsettling experiences.
With Halloween around the corner what has been happening only adds to my sense of unease. The first one was when I was walking Buzz & Finn. I was minding my own business- as usual- whilst Buzz&Finn were inserting themselves into a neighbor’s business by attempting to enter their hallway when their door was opened.
As I was walking and admiring the flowers the ‘Consider the Lily’ phrase from The Life of Brian movie came to mind. This phrase was first coined the Danish philosopher ‘Soren Kierkegaard’. He was a fan of personal choice and commitment as opposed to abstract thinking and widely considered to be the first existentialist philosopher.
I was a Danish philosopher yesterday when I considered whether I should buy the apple or the pecan Danish.
Life of Brian-Consider the lilies
Here is a beautiful passage to illustrate Kierkegaard’s philosophy.
Upon rounding the corner of my apartment right in front of me a beautiful hanging basket fell to the ground. I got the Heebie Jeebies big styley. I began to try and analyze why it happened.
Was it my personal choice of the path I took to walk Buzz&Finn that resulted in this strange incident? And then the abstract thinking kicked in or was an unsettled spirit close by? I decided not to take any chances.
A dear friend had given me a gift of sage which I lit when I got home and also waved around the corner of my apartment patio towards where the hanging basket fell.
I was like a woman possessed and dearly hoped that no one was watching me. Or was the unsettled spirit watching me? Anyhoo, I wish it well if that is what it was.
I seem to be on a roll with Jason Mamoa since yesterday’s blog. In that I dreamt of him last night and we were rolling around……. Nah, I just made that bit up. But I am intent on manifesting the dream for tonight.
Here are some fun facts about this real life He God. Jason Mamoa began his acting career in the late 90’s early 2000’s in ‘Baywatch’ as a lifeguard. He is Hawaiian of mixed European and native American ancestry.
It took him many years to shake off the image of a lifeguard and be taken seriously as an actor. In the meantime, he studied marine biology which was a perfect degree for the man that would soon become famous for being the most perfect depiction of ‘Aquaman’’. ‘
Playing ‘Khal Drogo’ in the 2011,2012 first two seasons of ‘Game of Thrones’ was the role that launched him into superstardom. Apparently, he performed the ‘Haka’ in his audition. Then came ‘Aquaman’ in 2016 which is due to be followed by ‘Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom’ in 2022.
‘Guinness’ is his preferred beverage of choice which thrills the Guinness Family as they could not ask for a better brand ambassador. From an early age he studied Buddhism and practices meditating daily. He loves comedies such as Saturday Night Live and would love to appear in one. I am sure that we will see him hosting pretty soon. I am off to prepare for my night time dream of Jason Mamoa.
This video was taken as Jason Mamoa was doing a shoot for the magazine ‘Esquire’. He is not only famous for his ridiculous good looks as well as being the epitome of masculinity but also for his love of scrunchies.
I believe that he is without a doubt the only man on the planet that can pull of wearing his hair in ponytails. His ‘Princess Leia’ impersonation fails to relinquish an ounce of his alpha male masculinity. would give anything to be his scrunchie.
The fact that he is also one of the nicest celebrities only adds to his inexplicable charm. And as if he was not gorgeous or cool enough for you, he is also wed to the ex of Lenny Kravitz-Lisa Bonet. He readily admits to having had a boyhood crush on her from the age of 8 following seeing her on TV and they are madly in love.
‘Zoey Kravitz’ is his step daughter as well as having a boy and girl with Lisa. Could he be more perfect? Does he have any flaws? I doubt it. Perhaps he could be accused of being a stereo typical Alpha He Man as he plays guitars, rides a Harley and is a superb rock climber and swimmer. Although I struggle to see it as a flaw.
This has to be my fav ‘Pick me up’ video clip. Whenever I am down in the mouth, I feel the inexplicable need to watch this Panda eating his/her veg. It has the dual effect of reminding me to eat more veg therefore it serves my soul and my body.
Although it didn’t work as well as usual as I over indulged in carrot cake earlier. I may need to source a Panda video where the carrot has been replaced with broccoli. As I don’t believe that anyone has invented a delicious broccoli cake as yet. Although stranger things have happened.
I wish that I could look as pleased as this gorgeous Panda when I am eating my veg. Even if he was watching ‘Kung Fu Panda’ on Netflix I cannot imagine that he could be more relaxed.
‘Netflix and vegging’ are such a glorious way to unwind. I wonder where that expression came from ‘vegging out’? Upon further investigation it appears to have become popularized by the movie ‘Pretty Woman’ where Julia Roberts says the line ‘Be still like vegetables, lay like broccoli’.
I never knew Broccoli got laid……. There goes my filthy mind again. Even whilst discussing vegetables I cannot seem to take my mind out of the sewer. It is a dreadful affliction and one that I am receiving therapy for. Along with my punitis.
I have mentioned my love for Only Fools and Horses in a previous blog. It is hard to believe that the series is 40 years old. The characters of Del Boy, Boycie, Rodney and Grandad were part of my childhood.
I once worked with a guy who could never remember people’s names and called everyone ‘Dave’. Even the women. He got away with it as it was always done with a cheeky wink and a glint in his eye.
He probably wouldn’t get away with it today. If I forget someone’s name- male or female- I just call them ‘frank’. It seems to have worked well so far. Who knows, maybe one day I will actually meet a ‘Frank’.
It got me thinking of the other comedies where a hapless and or dim character always provided unbelievable comedy. ‘Dougal’ from Father Ted came to mind and ‘Joey’ from friends.
I submitted a short story to www.thi-wurd.com last month called ‘Flashing Pope’ for possible selection for publication. Upon further consideration I began to think that maybe it is too irreverent as people will take the title literally. Which was not the intention.
Then I settled myself and realized that no one would read it anyway. I also deduced that as I have a mind like a sewer my story’s title was possibly meant to shock even if the decision was made on an unconscious level.
Being unconventional and shocking people in my writing seems to be something that tickles me. I do not wish to be shocking for shocking sake as I always aim to tickle my reader on some level. If I fail at doing this, I believe that I have failed in my objective to put a smile on your face. Lately I have been entering a few competitions with the hopes of being published.
Since the pandemic began it appears that everyone who had wanted to write has now begun to write and as a result the hardcopy and online magazines are overflowing with applications.
Which is great as people are following their dreams but, in another way, not so great as getting published becomes harder due to the increased competition. I will let you know if my story gets selected.
Upon further consideration I have decided not to write a song about Linda Martin as inspired by the Band ‘Duck Sauce’ with their song ‘Barbara Streisand. I have a couple of reasons for doing this. The primary one is that there are so few lyrics in the song ‘Barbara Streisand’ and I would not do Linda Martin justice.
My secondary reason is that I do not want to tarnish the perfect dream I had of ‘Muse’ and my rock’n roll chat with Matt Bellamy about bands that have obscure lyrics.
If you have read yesterday’s blog you may well be saying to yourself ‘Well, surely the main reason that she has not decided to write any more lyrics is because she is shite at writing lyrics?’ And to be honest I would have to agree with you.
A cool and immensely talented band like ‘Vampire Weekend’ can write whatever the feck they like and get away with it. Whereas a poor blogging mortal like myself should probably just stick to the blogging. And even my blogging skills are questionable at times.
I may, however, dip my toe in the music lyrics writing pool again as I just cannot help myself. Maybe it will be a matter of practice makes perfect. Or maybe I’ll always be a shite lyricist? And that’s ok too.
