My Blog

 

I may well be on a roll here with the top tips this week. A certain well known Doctor famous for popping pimples the size of Mount Vesuvius has provided me with an enlightened moment today.  As I flicked through channels earlier, I happened upon her show.  I watched with a mixture of unease and aversion.  

Some of the patients had really suffered both mentally and physically as these were no ordinary pimples. Many were hugely disfiguring. I had just finished my dinner. Once she had completed the act of popping what can only be described as a pimple the size of the hunchback of Notre Dame’s hunch, I felt rather queasy.  Actually, I was almost on the verge of retching.

And here is the clincher.  The battle of the bulge is an ongoing battle for me.  I have tried and continue to try a myriad of diets, from the cabbage, to the keto and everything in between. The cabbage diet left my apartment smelling like a silage farm. I am sure that I saw both my dog’s eyes watering.

I remain stalwart in my efforts to lose weight.   Once the extreme nausea subsided, I thought to myself that if I taped the series and watched it before my dinner every evening, I would lose my appetite.  One of the patients had removed what can only be described as double chicken fillets.  I have now gone off chicken for life.

So, here goes the pimple popping diet. I will let you know how I get on.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

I decided to partake in some extreme lumber jacking today to stave off the November cold.  Once I donned my high viz jacket Buzz and Finn went apoplectic.  They really are not fans of anything high viz.  When I am feeling feckless and see people wearing high viz clothing, I think ‘Look at them, just wanting to be noticed, huh ‘. Then I smile wryly to myself at the silly notion.  The tree was quite a challenge and I rose to it initially but then realized that as I wasn’t a tree surgeon perhaps it would be best left to the experts.

I was reminded of the Monty Python Lumberjack song with Michael Palin. (See the link below)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FshU58nI0Ts&feature=share

It’s almost as though The Pythons invented silly (at least for me they did), all those years ago.  Many appear to be reveling in being silly during lock down as some of the memes are hilarious.

 

 

This helium dog picture cracked me up. I hope he is Ok and that he managed to fart and burp out the helium…….

 

 

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

 

Today has been a bit of a weird one. As was yesterday.  But that’s another story.  I had booked a webinar a few weeks ago on how to improve your memory and forgot about it. The irony is obvious but getting it doesn’t really help my memory.  I needed to head out to the shops to get some things and as usual I put You tube doggie relaxing music on the TV.

Normally my last video played comes up as saved but today it didn’t.  A ‘Doggy relaxing reggae’ video came up.  For some bizarre reason I instantly became indignant.  I am a bit of an obsessive music and music festival fan (I have been to Glastonbury 8 times since 2002 and intend to keep going till I am 75. At least that’s the pledge I made to myself in front of the Pyramid stage in 2004). Not being a fan of Reggae I instantly thought ‘my 2 pooches aren’t listening to that’.  I realized as I was thinking it how mental it was but still could not help myself.

Once back from the shops I brought Buzz and Finn for their walk.  When I got home, I checked my steps on my watch and realized that I had forgotten my watch.  I was raging as I was sure that I had hit the requisite 10,000 steps. My weekly step average would be way down as I had forgotten over the weekend also. I found my watch and put it on. Shepherd’s pie was what I had planned for dinner and as I was grating the veg my steps were going up.  I ended up grating a couple of carrots down to mini batons but I hit the seven thousand steps. I was very grateful. (euuggghhhh, that’s even bad for me- pun therapy continues).

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

Today I shall carry on from yesterday’s theme with the Chinese Bond villain called Muff Munch as my memory has been piqued. Excuse me whilst I wax (Muff?) lyrical (Yes pun therapy continues and is largely unsuccessful).

In my early 20’s I worked in Riyadh Saudi Arabia for a few years. We had quite a colorful social life whilst we worked there. I had just finished my first PADI scuba diving course and was looking forward to attending a friends birthday celebration. We were all getting together at the British aerospace compound.

I was chatting to one of the guys about my diving course and he told me that he worked as a muff diver. Everybody around me started chuckling. Which should have warned me for what was to come.

I had no idea what he meant as I had never heard the phrase before. Full of confidence I asked him what a muff diver was? He told me that a muff diver was a ‘Marine underwater firefighter’.

I knew he was having me on as putting fires out under water made no sense to me. I questioned him further. He further elucidated that he had worked on an oil rig where welding the frame of the rig underwater would sometimes cause fires. This seemed feasible enough to me.

I didn’t question him any further but there was still lots of sniggering going on around me. I took one of the other guys to one side and asked him what everybody thought was so funny. He gave me the true explanation of muff diving and I was mortified.

A few months later we were at the Dubai Sevens Rugby tournament. Many revelers wore different types of crazy fancy dress costumes. Some Welsh chaps dressed up as sheep. They were covered in hundreds of cotton wool balls and made sheep noises as they queued up at the bar. One of the rugby fans was dressed in full skin suit and written across his forehead was Muff Diver. I had to get a photo taken with him and told him my story of my embarrassment. To this day I have never forgotten the moment I had the royal piss taken out of me.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

(Warning the following may offend or make you giggle)

It’s so sad to have lost the great Sir Sean Connery. The one and only James Bond. With his devilishly handsome looks, a raised eye brow and come-hither look. He epitomized the swarthy sexy hero. And just in case that wasn’t enough he had the ever so sexy Scottish accent to boot.

Both men and women around the world swooned whenever he played their favorite character.  The bond girl names however were often questionable. I mean Pussy Galore? Really?  Why did they not have a Greek villain by the name of Phallus Generous?  At least the silly names could be divided across the genders. Holly Goodhead from Moonraker. Why not have a Chinese villain by the name of Muff Munch.  Or finally Chew Mee in The Man with the Golden Gun could have had an Irish villain by the name of Nosh O’ Tool. Just sayin.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

A few years ago, I was on a committee where we had finished our annual conference.  We were all gathered in the evening for dinner and were having pre dinner drinks. There were many professors in our presence and somebody began to discuss porn star names.  Most of us had heard of this game and a few had not. The game was explained to those who were unaware in that your porn star name is your first pets name and your mother’s maiden name.  There were 18 of us gathered around a huge table in the corner of the hotel bar.

When it came around to me, I had thought about telling the truth and then I thought again.  The minx in me took over.  Silence fell as everyone was waiting for me to reveal my name.  I took a deep breath and announced, ‘Licky Licky long time’.

There was a moment’s delayed reaction until everyone realized what I had said, and then howls of laughter.  I started laughing also as I could not keep a straight face anymore.  One of the Professors at the end of the room said ‘Really, is that really your porn star name’ and I explained that it wasn’t. My first pet was a beautiful grey poodle called ‘Pepi’ and my mother’s maiden name is ‘Leahy’, therefore ‘Pepi Leahy’ would be my real porn star name.

I’ve realized since that ‘Licky Licky long time’ is actually quite a good name and perhaps if I do ever decide to enter the industry or open an Only Fans page that this might stand to me. Then again, perhaps not.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

   

Happy November 01^st.  We made it.  Just about.  Pats on the back must be commandeered all round.  I had a fabulous sea swim today with two amazing women. There were quite a few people taking the plunge.  I am so proud of myself as I have never swum in the sea in the winter and whilst it wasn’t exactly balmy it wasn’t exactly Baltic either.  The camaraderie is always priceless too as we all secretly pat ourselves on the back for being a combination of brave and a bit crazy.  But like I always say it’s the crazy bits that are always the most enjoyable.  Who enjoys convention all of the time?

Walking Buzz and Finn this morning became quite interesting.  I bumped into a neighbor. We were commenting on the noticeable proliferation of dog poo on our regular walks. Nothing odd about this.  Shit happens.  But my neighbor began to describe the dog poo in forensic detail. Apparently, the dog must have been eating Weetabix as this was what he deemed the consistency to be.  I nodded knowingly but it wasn’t until I walked away that I began to think about it.  And as I was thinking about it, I walked into a sample of the Weetabix evidence.  Suffice to say that Weetabix is no longer a breakfast choice for me.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

Tonight, the clocks go back and I cannot wait to begin my hibernation good and proper.  Apparently, accidents and thefts are always on the increase when the clocks change due to the confusion it causes and possibly because many people forget.  I love having the extra hour in bed also.

When I mentioned that the clocks were going back to an elderly neighbor who is hard of hearing she said

‘What, the cocks go black?’

She is a bit of a divil and part of me believes that she knew what she was saying but it made me giggle all the same. Having lived in the Middle East for over ten years I always missed the seasons.  I am home now eight years and I believe that I am still in the honeymoon period regarding the weather and the seasons. Autumn is probably my favorite but to be honest I love them all.

There is always talk of not changing the times due to the confusion but it works for me. Bring on the long dark evening when nightfall begins at 16.00.

I am off to make a giant cup of tea and put in my order for two deluxe cuddle packages from both Buzz and Finn.

All the best

Stay Fab

Adele

What a day. A weird one indeed. The culmination of synchronicities that began at the beginning of the week.  I was at a meeting and someone dropped their keys in the meeting.  Nothing too odd about that.  On Wednesday the same thing happened in a supermarket and I ran after the person to return their keys to them.  Today I was parking my car to go for a swim when someone getting out of their cars dropped their keys.

I believe in the rule of threes.   In that good things happen in threes and bad things happen in threes. And cats happen in trees but that’s another thing altogether. Apparently, the spiritual meaning of seeing lots of keys is that they can signify freedom and answers to unknown problems.

I also had three black cats pass in front of me. At various times I must add. Otherwise, it would be pure spooky. And finally, I had three different telephone calls interrupted by really weird interference which sounded like the old modems or alien abductions. Not sure which.

So where are my feckin keys? My phone keeps showing me advertisements for locksmiths which are freaking me out. Is the universe having a laugh or something?

I’ve said three prayers to St. Anthony and whilst walking the dogs I was on high alert for a black cat to grant me the luck to find them. Instead, Buzz got out of his new collar and started chasing a black cat. Not sure what it all means but a bit to Halloweeny for my liking.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

Running on from yesterday’s theme of bingo I was reminded of a story I was told when I was living abroad.   I was studying and one of my fellow students was a clinical teacher for a large airline.  She told us that one day she was giving a class on STDs to new cabin crew recruits. They were all very young, from all over the world and very keen to begin their new exciting career.

She began to go through the various STDs with a key focus on lifestyle and prevention.   She first started with chlamydia.  The first power point slide appeared and she was about to go through it when one of the cabin crew put her hand up. She eagerly announced to the teacher and her fellow classmates ‘Yes, yes I had that one ‘.

My friend then went on to try to discuss Trichomoniasis and the same girl put her hand up eagerly and announced to the rest of the class again ‘Yes, yes I had that one as well ‘.

Perhaps she thought that there was a prize for the person that had the most. My friend thanked the girl again for sharing and then said to the rest of the class that there was no need for anybody else to share.  As far as giving clinical STD induction classes go it was one that she would never forget.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele