My Blog

So, I had a dental appointment this morning and was really looking forward to it- said, no one, ever. I was led into the dental room by the nurse when the dentist asked me for an impression. I said ‘Well I have been having this treatment for two years now when the quoted time was 18 months. So, I’m really not that impressed ‘. He replied ‘I understand your frustration but I need to do an impression of your teeth. I apologized. Went puce and decided not to speak for the rest of the appointment.

On the way home I was listening to the radio and there was a woman being interviewed who has a bat sanctuary in Ireland. Anyone that looks after animals in my book is an angel but I have to say I’m not a huge fan of the bat. Their image has been somewhat tarnished by the whole Covid pandemic and I feel that what they really need is an ace PR crisis campaigner.

So, where is Batman when we really need him? He has been fannying around for decades in cartoons and films and now when we really need him, he is nowhere to be found.

When I was in school, I had to learn the anatomy of a bat in Irish. This is the primary reason for my intolerance towards them. It traumatized me for life. The story was called ‘An Sciathan Leathair’ and it was in a compendium of Irish stories call ‘Boirin na Beatha’.

To this day I still have feckin nightmares about this book. And why, oh why would I want to learn about the anatomy of a bat in Irish when learning it in English was just as nonsensical. Give me strength.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

Ribald alert-Not for the faint hearted

I came across this picture the other day and I was reminded of an unusual event that happened whilst I was on holidays with a friend of mine. We were on the island of Ibiza. Staying in the town while enjoying the sunshine, clubbing and everything that went with it. We had booked tickets to see Tinie Tempah in San Antonio at The Ibiza Rocks Hotel.

Whilst sauntering down the main street in San Antonio we were charmingly accosted by a young man who was selling drinks from his bar. He was quite the salesman and was trying his best patter with us. We were non-committal as we wanted to see as much of the town as we could before we hit the gig.

He must have done a quick profile assessment to establish that we were quite possibly a couple of decades older than the usual clientele that he would be selling drinks to.    In his beautiful wisdom he decided to offer what he must have considered to be a community service.

He looked us both in the eye and asked us ‘Cock or balls?’ We were both taken back. Our mouths were open in shock and he repeated the question.’ Cock or balls?’ As neither of us replied to his question and obviously time was of the essence to him, he decided to treat us both.

In the middle of the street, he unzipped his fly and dutifully presented his cock and balls for our viewing. We were aghast and could not stop laughing. It was impossible to resist having a drink in his bar. We had to hand it to him for desperation and innovation. I am pretty sure that his contract did not stipulate that he present his nether regions for viewing to entice clientele.

To this day it makes me smile whenever anyone brings up the subject of Ibiza. I am pretty sure this experience will never be repeated. And if I am ever walking down a street full of bars and someone is enticing me into their bar, I will perhaps refrain from sharing this story with them. Or maybe someday I will go back there and open a bar named ‘Cock and Balls’ in his honor.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

Well, I just can’t stop smiling. I have just watched the opening scene for Goldfinger. And what can I say? I can’t stop seeing it. Sean Connery as James Bond is wearing what can only be described as a giant blue Babygro without the legs.

It says something for the man (RIP Sir Sean) that he is able to pull it off.      Although I am pretty sure that is what he must have done when the scene finished.  I referred to him in a previous blog where I brought the female bond names into question and came up with cheesy double entendre male names.

http://adeleleahy.ie/sir-sean-connery-the-only-bond/

Harry Styles is probably the only man of this day and age that could wear such a thing. His style does appear to be reminiscent of David Bowie or Eddie Izzard. Whatever he wears he does with such grace, cheekiness and aplomb. I grew up watching Bond and I do believe it set the bar for all other action blockbusters.

Many are looking back at movies, songs and comedians over the last half a century and calling them out for being misogynistic, sexist and homophobic. They were. But at the time the paradigm of political correctness was not as pervasive as it is today. It’s good to see how far we have come. But we still have a long way to go.

Now, I’m off to find a man that will look as good in a Bond Babygro as 007.Wish me luck.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

I have to say I am a bit obsessed with The Ice Man- Wim Hof.    His scientifically proven theories for wellness are awe inspiring. They include deep breathing, mind balance and subjection to the cold. He has been immersed in ice for 2 hours as well as climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in shorts. None of these events changed his core body temperature.

https://www.wimhofmethod.com/iceman-wim-hof

So much so that I have been enjoying his breathing techniques as well as swimming in the cold Irish sea. At times I can feel invincible. I have just come in from walking in a storm with the dogs. The extreme weather and gussets of wind (intentional spelling error-makes me smile……) has energized me .   Not to the point where I plan on climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in shorts but enough to have me dancing and head banging to the Prodigy.

My two dogs were gazing at me with their ‘She’s having one of her crazy moments’ eyes. Like I said in another blog entry, these crazy moments are vital for me.

Wim Hof has been injected with the bacteria e -coli with no symptoms.   He has trained twelve others who were willing to be injected with e coli. They were also asymptomatic. He has many other lofty claims that cannot be discounted due to the rigorous research that he has been subjected to.

Some say he is just a crazy extreme athlete Dutchman. And it’s his craziness for me that make his claims all the more plausible. He is a true inspiration.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

Back before Covid I had a bout of tonight tits. When I recovered my friend brought me to brunch at a European and sea food restaurant.  She told me that she was allergic to crushed Asians, and ordered eggs been a dick. I had the fuck ah cho before we went to see this pickle me 3 in the sin e ma. The trailer had looked good but looks can be this evening.  My friend resisted buying sweets as she had tattooed diabetes.

This is quite an extreme example of SIRI Translation gone wrong. The correct version is –

Back before Covid I had a bout of Tinnitus. When I recovered my friend brought me to brunch at a European and sea food restaurant. She told me that she was allergic to crustaceans and ordered eggs benedict.  I had the focaccia before we went to see Despicable me 3 in the cinema.  The trailer had looked good but looks can be deceiving.  My friend resisted buying sweets she had type 2 diabetes.

This was quite a few years before Covid when SIRI was quite new. It is much better now.  But every now and then there can still be a few humorous clangers. Tread carefully as I am not sure that she is totally in tune with the Irish accent.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

 

Wearing a backpack and headphones I watched transfixed as the squirrel busied itself.   Just to clarify I was the one wearing the backpack and headphones. I was listening to a wellness podcast and they were discussing the proclivity of allergies among people of all ages in the world today. Particularly nuts. As I gazed at the squirrel burying his nuts (must have been very painful) I began to think that squirrels may well succeed in world domination someday.  As nut allergies may claim us all. But squirrels will be unscathed.

The next episode in the podcast went onto wellbeing and mental health. But with a different angle to what a lot of us are hearing nowadays. It was discussing how our true nature can be so well hidden beneath all the conditioning from an early age.  I could relate to what they were saying.    But my favorite bit was when they were highlighting how hiding the part of our nature that can be silly, childish and even crazy can be doing us a disservice.

That unleashing the ‘crazy’ every now and then is liberating and can even help our immune system.   It was music to me ears.  That’s it.   All I needed was an excuse. I’m off now to howl at the moon tonight.  And if anyone asks, I can just say that it was the voices in my head that made me, do it.   Bring on the crazy.  All day long.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

 

 

I made a woeful mistake today. I ‘m fairly good at them but this was in a different category altogether. When I told my friend she exhibited very restrained schadenfreude. I had prefaced the confession with the admission that I am a complete gobshite. There really was no saving face or coming back from it.

I had been chatting with my friend last month and she mentioned that the mother of one of the girls we know had passed away.  There is a group of us that get together for a reunion about once a year and within the group two of the girls have very similar names.

See, where I am going here? Anyhoo, I sent my condolences to the wrong person for the passing of their Mam.  She graciously messaged me back and corrected me saying that her Mam was fine.  I was mortified and returned the message with the humblest of apologies.

We attempted to dissect last month’s conversation to try and analyze how I could have gotten it wrong. The miscommunication did become apparent but it was still my responsibility at the time to clarify the news. I now realize that when I am being given grievous news, I really need to clarify the information. Or else stick my fingers in my ears and sing ‘La, la, la, la,’ in a high-pitched voice to prevent any further screw ups.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

Whilst walking Buzz and Finn today I was pondering the meaning of life. Nothing unusual about this as I have a propensity for daydreaming.

Last week I heard of a psychological and spiritual ruse called a ‘lofty question’. This is where you ask yourself a positive question such as ‘Why am I so blessed’? ‘Apparently because of how the question is framed it allows access to the subconscious.

Anyhoo I was practicing this lofty question. Remembering what a lovely sleep I had. Having gratitude for Buzz and Finn, my health, friends and home. To be honest I was on a bit of a roll with the whole gratitude thing. Whilst walking past someone’s patio and I noticed some poo. I thought to myself ‘Oohh they must have a dog?’ I then thought ‘ What if they didn’t?’.  And a whole new set of visuals entered my mind.

I then went off into Planet Dellyland .Population of one. Thinking of what I would say were the owners of the apartment to come out onto the patio. My opening gambit would be something like ’Hey, I see you have a new dog’, and the person would reply ‘Actually, No’. And then I would slink off with extreme embarrassment for having commented on their patio poo to begin with.

Thank God none of this has happened but I eagerly anticipate seeing their new pet sometime soon.

 

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

Okay, so lots of celebrities are taking part in various programs on television where they compete against each other. They can either bake, do wood craft or now the latest is crafting pottery. Seeing them as they develop their new skills and have a few laughs along the way with the presenters and the judges is always worth watching.

Often, they’re finished pieces can be awe inspiring considering that they were relative amateurs before they took part in the show.  It’s always nice to see someone you like and admire out of their normal environment and facing a new challenge.

  I started to think about other crafts or skills that the celebrities could put their minds to. Fashion up cycling came to mind. Apparently, it’s quite the thing now.

In this picture the lady is actually wearing a pair of customized Y fronts which she has transformed into a bra vest top. Perhaps she has invented the new ‘Y’ bra.

This picture details a pair of stilettos where the heels that were broken are replaced with toy dinosaurs. The opportunities for design seem to be endless. I hope the wearer doesn’t have dino- sore feet (forgive my dreadful pun affliction).

If this idea wasn’t a goer maybe celebrity Christmas card making might work. Or perhaps another inspiring craft I believe is arm knitting where the person uses their arms as knitting needles. The opportunities are endless and I look forward to more laughs and giggles with my fav celebs.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele

 

I asked Google a question today which it was unable to answer.  My screen then froze for about 5 minutes.  I thought that it was miffed.  Then I realized with a degree of embarrassment that it is only a search engine and not a form of artificial intelligence. I was intrigued and decided to think up a few more conundrums to outwit it.

 

1. Do unicorns google? – No answer
2. What is the density of a shadow- No answer
3. Does Trump have a soul- no answer, but much debate. I also asked if he is an Alien and apparently a book has been written about this. Who knew? Finally (I was on a roll, and I know he is old and fake news) I asked does Donald Trump’s hair have his own twitter account.  And yes, it had.
4. Did Santa contract Covid to have a year off? – No answer
5. Does Enya head bang to Metallica? –No answer
6. Did the tooth fairy get chlamydia when I was 7 and that is why I got no money for my tooth? (At the time I was told that Chlamydia was an allergy to fish- clams, etc.) – No answer.
7. Does a smurf artist have a ‘blue period’ when it can no longer paint?

All in all, I can safely say that it was an extremely pointless yet enlightening exercise.  I am none the wiser for trying to cyber interview a search engine.  But as a public service act at least it has now been done and I can save someone else the bother.

That’s all for now.

Have a great day.

Stay fab.

Adele