Month: October 2023

Halloween

Tonight, the spirits come alive,

And the ghouls begin to thrive.

The zombies roam with zeal.

As children and adults scream.

A knock on your bedroom door,

A monster desperate for gore

And then another, this time a thud

A vampire to suck your blood

Will your soul go to a ghoul?

Will you become vicious and cruel?

Will you relish in the gore?

The horror and the folklore?

As your blood curdles.

Your Spirit unfurls

A werewolf will tear you apart.

And cease your beating heart.

A fog will envelop your mind.

What you then see, you will wish you were blind.

The Mummies come undone.

As every possible victim runs.

The Grim Reaper is on a mission.

As you have lacked contrition.

Witches fly around on brooms.

Lock your bedroom door soon.

There may be a monster beneath your bed.

Or a man under his arm, carrying his head.

Frankenstein will fill you with fear.

A safe haven will never be near.

Behave and beware.

They are out to get you.

They do not care.

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

1. http://adeleleahy.ie/acts-of-mindfulness-part-two/ More really crap mindfulness jokes. Truly woeful.

 

2. http://adeleleahy.ie/inspirational-retreats-part-one/ More muppets. Dressing up as one on mushrooms, Anyone?

 

3. http://adeleleahy.ie/baldoyle-pub-creche-1996/

 

1. 4. http://adeleleahy.ie/the-rock-and-kevin-hart/

 

1. 5. http://adeleleahy.ie/robin-williams-rubbing-the-meat/. What can I say? Besides The Muppets, Catherine Tate, Monty Python, Kevin Bridges. and Jimmy Carr, I am a sucker for Robin Williams. One of my earlier blogs featured Robin on Sesame Street. When I found the YouTube video clip, I was elated. He does feature quite a lot. And do I feel bad? Yes, I do. But hey, I’m now over it. He was the greatest comic genius of our time.

 

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

1.http://adeleleahy.ie/sneezy-seal-day-and-viz/ – Johnny Farty Pants and the art of farting.

2. Strewth – http://adeleleahy.ie/one-of-those-days/ Murphy’s Law. Think of a really bad day. Multiply it by thirty-three and a third, divide by twenty-four and a half, and then you may have an idea of how bad my day really was.

3. http://adeleleahy.ie/the-perils-of-swimming/ – The underwear thief, wedgies, low-flying testicles and sex noises. And we won’t even mention sewage, condoms, peeing in the sea or genital warts. Actually, we won’t mention genital warts at all, as they have nothing whatsoever to do with this post.

4. http://adeleleahy.ie/acts-of-mindfulness-part-one/ and really cringe mindfulness jokes. Once upon a time, we used to go for walks, maybe have a paddle and daydream.

I recall getting the bus into town and gazing out the window. Wondering about other people at bus stops, looking at people in parks, and wondering about the people inside the houses we were driving past. What they were doing, how they were feeling. I was not mentally glued to a mobile phone. Maybe that is why mindfulness is now embedded into our consciousness. To counteract the perils of mobile phone usage? And now we have renamed it mindfulness. And, of course, the perfect irony is that the word belies the action. In that, we are freeing of mind of being full.

 

5. http://adeleleahy.ie/doggy-vision/

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

The Horse Fair was mighty this year. I always love it as I have such special memories from when I did my nurse training in Ballinasloe, Portiuncula Hospital. Besides being the oldest Horse Fair in Europe and where Napoleon is believed to have bought some of his horses, it is also a Mecca for the traveller community.

One year, when I was nursing, we had two warring traveller families on two different wards. One had stabbed another for snogging his wife. The two families were the Wards and the McDonaghs, and the Gardai had to stand outside on each ward to ensure no further disagreements.

This year, I got to help with the phenomenal Dog Show. There were possibly one hundred entries with many beautiful dogs. The excitable owners were desperate for a trophy/rosette, and children showed their pooches with great delight.

My favourite was a giant black Russian terrier. I pointed him out to the judge in the ring on my right, and he said it was the worst specimen he had ever seen. My judge gave it first prize. Both are well-known European Dog Show judges. It just goes to show there is no accounting for taste. A magnificent Afghan Hound won first prize. There were twenty-five competitions in total, from best in a variety of breed classes, to most obedient, judges’ personal favourite, best fancy dress, and best tricks. A ten-year-old girl won four prizes. She and her two dogs were incredible, and she behaved like a grown adult who had been showing dogs her whole life.

I met the infamous Axe lady and was blessed by a gypsy. And they are two wonderful stories for another day.

 

All the best

Stay fab

Adele

Here are my favourite blogs from the first quarter of 2023

1. http://adeleleahy.ie/poem-doggy-rock/ – A poem about dog bands. E.g. Furreigner, Muttley Crew and the Velvet Undergrowl, to name but a few. Ruff, Ruff.
2. http://adeleleahy.ie/therapy-faux-pas/ When therapists get it wrong. Well, they are human, too, and we all make mistakes.
3. http://adeleleahy.ie/world-yoga-day/ – Paws and effect. Doggy yoga. Guess where the downward dog comes from. Hint: it’s not a cat.
4. http://adeleleahy.ie/silly-tuesday/ Any excuse to be silly. The man in the petrol station did not appreciate being asked if he could sell me two squirrels. He told me that only two badgers, a shrew, and a robin, were left for sale.
5. http://adeleleahy.ie/camel-botox/ Who knew that camels get Botox? And cows get fillers into their udders to help suckle. Oh, and some horses have had buttock implants to make them go faster, but it is illegal. Finally, certain breeds of sheep have been injected with hyaluronic acid to make their wool softer than Cashmere and Angora.

I jest in number 5. But you already knew that. Which of the sentences is true? But when you think of it. Who knew that massaging cows would result in Wagyu beef being the best beef on the planet? Maybe they could do with a bit of counselling, too?

All the best

Stay fab

Adele